I Need To Be Here Right Now

[Chance]

Hi most of you know me and those that don't will I just really need to be here on this side of the tracks right now. I am going nuts with the treatment that I am on with my interferon shots. It seems like I fall into a real deep depression for a while after I take the shot. I take the shot on Thursday usually around dinner time. Then It seems to take me into a deep depression for the next 3 or 4 days. I am doing OK today, but see now it is Tuesday already. So now I will enjoy peace of my mind for the next two days. I am suppose to take this treatment for another 10 1/2 months. That is a long time to be miserable. I am on anti-depressants right now called Effexor. I don't like them really. At first it seemed to work really well but now the way I reacted this last few days I wonder if they are really what they are cut out to be.

I don't know how long I can go on living this way. I have never been such a negative person in my entire life I don't think, but then again maybe I have. I just don't know how much more of this I can take. I almost went out and used but to be honest I can not go out and drink or use on the truth. I would have to listen to my head and what it tells me and I know that it is all lies what it tells me. I still listen to it though on other aspects. I am not sure what to do anymore I don't want to live miserable for the next 10 1/2 months and yet I need this treatment for my liver!!! What to do what to do? Ok I will stop rambling....I really need support right now....

Love Vic

[bikewench]

(((Vic)))

Welcome buddy...

Yeah...
It's gonna be hard.

It sounds like your starting to work it out though.
You know what's coming down the pipe... so.. hopefully now we can find ways to offset the crap.

Calmness is a balancing act for me too .

And I'm not even trying to save my life.. or my liver.

Regardless of how long this is gonna take... (and that's a moot point anyway.. cause we're gonna do this one day at a time ... right.. ?? ;o)....)
.. it's gonna be okay...

I'm here for you Vic.

[Chance]

Originally Posted by bikewench

(((Vic)))

so.. hopefully now we can find ways to offset the crap.

Calmness is a balancing act for me too .
.

God I know that my sponsor back home use to say "Just stay Calm there is a lot of power in staying calm" I really need to work on that but how do I do it when this medicine just takes over my mind pretty much it goes nuts. How are we going to offset it I don't know. I should probably talk to my doc again or nurse but I hate being on meds like anti depressants yet I have been on these for two weeks. I take a dose of 75 miligrams of whatever ever night before bed. Humm Ok stay calm.... Oh BTW thanks for your support I need that right now

Love Vic

[shutterbug]

Luckyv2.....none of us "like" the idea of being on anti-d's its just something we have to suck up and do. I look at it like this.....if I had a heart condition like my friend does, i would have to take meds for that for the rest of my life right? Depression is no different, except not everyone has to take them forever.

As for the Effexor....if you are only on a dose of 75 mg....that is a pretty low dose. The typical maximum dosage for Effexor is 300 mg (and sometimes a few docs will go higher, but not often). You should first ask your doc to bump up your dosage to give you the extra coverage while you are undergoing these liver treatments. Once they are over with, you can always bring the level of your anti-d back down. Also, if your doc continues to bump you up and you are still experiencing deep depression, you might ask him to add a second anti-d to the mix. I am doing quite well on 150 mg of Effexor and 300 mg of Wellbutrin.

Hang in there and just do what you need to do to feel better.....taking meds (or anti-depressants) is not a sign of weakness....remember that.

Hugs,
Jenna

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by luckyv2

I should probably talk to my doc again or nurse but I hate being on meds like anti depressants yet I have been on these for two weeks. I take a dose of 75 miligrams of whatever ever night before bed.

Please do talk with your Dr. / nurse about the Effexor. I am on it too and I can tell you that th 75 mg is just the starting dose - it needs to go up to at least 150 mg. Also, anti-depressants don't work right away. It can take 3-4 weeks to feel significantly better. I really believe you are on the right track.

And YES to bike who sagely reminds us that it doesn't matter how long it takes, we do it ONE DAY AT A TIME!

[bikewench]

Hey Vic...

how do I do it when this medicine just takes over my mind pretty much it goes nuts. How are we going to offset it I don't know.

Well..
if there is no offsetting... then one might just have to surrender to it.

Sit with it.

Feel the parameters of it. Where does it feel..??

What am I thinking while I am feeling that way..??

Let us help you explore it.

The body takes time to heal... like our friends said.
Give it some slack... and yeah.. talk to your doc. Hold nothing back. Let him/her guide you... and we'll be your cane.. ;o)

[velvet]

Well, if you haven't talked to your doctor about your depression, then first thing tomorrow morning...get on that phone. At least you are recognizing the effect it has on you and you are willing to hang in there with us, for help. I know, I don't know what you really are going through...and I don't, but I know that to use or close yourself off from support is not the way to go. Glad to see you back, with eyes wide open!

[Chance]

I woke up I am just feeling a little down this morning. I keep thinking about what it was like when I was on welebrutrin and I took myself off of them after afew weeks because they were making me feel more down then when I wasn't even on anything. I think these are doing the same thing. I talked to a nurse about it one time or a Pshycatrist and she said that if an antidepressant makes someone feel down that they probably need some sort of a stabelizer. I think that I am just going to stop taking them I am calling my nurse but I am going to try and see what I can do to change this stinking thinking too. God this is driving me nuts and I have to take my shot tomorrow. Maybe I need to get some coffee in me

[Chance]

I can't do this I can't

[bikewench]

Yes you can.

Deep breaths there Vic.
In through the nose.. out through the mouth.
And keep it up until you calm ....


I know things feel pretty scrambled right now from your persepective...
but.. from my side.. your still Humpty Dumpty.. ;o)


Check your thoughts.
What are you thinking.
Write it down.
Question it.

And keep posting.

Make amends if their due.. and then let the SR stuff go...
cause.. I think you got enough on your plate right now... ;o)

Just go with it.

[velvet]

Part of me wants to ground you...kickin it into "mom" gear. Say, Stop it! You can do this! What did the doctor say when you called him? You have to get focused on something else....you have come too far to back track. I haven't got the anwers or the right advice, I'm sure...but you can do it, if you try. No one said it would be easy.

[BSPGirl]

Hmm I dunno what's in those 'shots' you're talking about and why are you taking them? Has the depression started after that? Anyway...I heard some bad stories about Effexor and I was on that for a lil while myself but I stopped taking it cuz after 6 weeks I didn't notice any effects, I didn't even notice any withdrawal but I heard from others it can be pretty messy. Anyway mention this all to your dr, they'll figure something out most likely.

[Cindi R]

Hang in there Vic.
Don't give up!!!
With recovery there are some really great days and some days that suck.
With depression there are some pretty good days and some really bad rotten horrible awful days that totally suck.
Lately I've been having a few of them in a row for no aparrent reason...
My kid has a tee shirt that pretty much sums up the way I feel most days...it reads

"I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?"

Please talk to the Dr about a med adjustment...these things take time to work...unfortunately there is no instant "happy" pill for depression, at least not like we were used to with doing our drug of choice...

[shutterbug]

Try not to be so down on yourself, especially when you are already feeling as low as you are. And don't worry about offending peeps here at SR....it never fails that when I feel my worst and most depressed that I seem to tick someone off too. Don't let it bother you, just worry about you and let them take care of them.

As for taking yourself off the Wellbutrin before b/c it was making you feel more depressed...Well I'm certainly no doc, but I do know that it can take 4-6 weeks for anti-d's to start getting their butts in gear and giving us some relief. That said...is it possible that you would have been that depressed if you hadn't been on any meds? Maybe you expected too much too fast from the Wellbutrin and when you got depressed it seemed like the meds were making you that way? Don't know. Just something to think about.

Really, I think that's probably what's going on now. You are on such a very low dose of the Effexor that it's like barely taking anything at all....so of course, you are still going to be depressed. Now if you had been on the Effexor for several months and were already up to 300 mg a day then I would say it's time to definetly add a second anti-d and/or try a totally different med.

Hang in there though. You CAN do this. I know because I've been where you are at many, many times and I didn't think I could make it through either, but I did. And I know if I can do it then so can YOU!

Giant HUGS,

[Chance]

I need to stay is anyone here that I can tell them what I have a solution for but I need a lot of support through it all I will explain but I took my shot about 4 1/2 hours ago and I can not type good right now I am shaking too bad.

Love Vic

I will try and post my solution tomorrow do I use this thread or another one? Please let me know...

[Chance]

Help ME PLEASE

[cwohio]

saying a prayer for you right now Vic - don't know about interferon and AD's but I am praying that you can feel God wrapping his arms around you right now!

[Chance]

Originally Posted by cwohio

saying a prayer for you right now Vic - don't know about interferon and AD's but I am praying that you can feel God wrapping his arms around you right now!

Thank YOU....I needed that I am not doing good I have my heater up to 90 and I am still shaking they say it isn't suppose to stay like this it should be getting better and BTW is it Hep C...this is a cure thing that I am doing for a year I need to get into the covers I am froze....

Love Vic

[cwohio]

will a warm bath help? i have read some of your posts so i kind of know the scoop. take a hot bath and bundle up and know that warm thoughts are coming your way!

[Chance]

Originally Posted by cwohio

will a warm bath help? i have read some of your posts so i kind of know the scoop. take a hot bath and bundle up and know that warm thoughts are coming your way!

Just had to come back and say a joke trying to find humor here. You KNOW what they say about Aids don't you?

You Carry

That SH!T Around

LIKE Luggage

You NEVER Get

Rid Of IT

Bye I will see what is going on tomorrow...

[Chance]

Not feeling good at all......

[Chance]

I am really in a lot of physical pain right now the shaking has lessend. My head is pounding like it is going to pop...Not feeling good...

[Chance]

Last post for the night I am really cold the heat is up to almost 90, now my musles in my legs are knotting up really bad, and my back feels as if I have broke it

[BSPGirl]

Are you HIV positive? Or is it "just" Hep C? I dunno much about meds but I thought AIDS meds were usually pills you had to take really regulary or something. You should talk to a dr however. Sounds to me like you got some unwanted side effects. *huggles*

[cwohio]

vic - hope you were able to get some rest last evening and that today brings some sunshine to you!!!