Cbt

[Don W]

I have given a lot of thought to the people that have promoted the CBT therapy. I ended up drinking. Cbt is fine however, being in Vietnam and the military, they taught me to override. There is no way that Don would kill another. However, I became very good at killing North Vietnamese. I am ok today but, only by a thread. I am sorry, I have killed. Sometimes the people I killed were just kids. This is the problem we veterans have with cbt. We were trained to override. I have not checked your responses. I am sure you will be supportive. However, I'm shamed, I learned how to kill in Vietnam. I don't deserve your thoughts.

[Don W]

I still picture the eyes of those I had to kill,

[best]

Don

My first thought is BS to that.

You were trained to survive and you were trained to protect.
You did what was needed to be done, at a time when you were asked to do it.
This PC world and even some of the polticians that are spouting off their mouth, even today... I say screw them because they are doing more harm then good.
I know you did what was asked of you and you know you did what was asked of you. The opinions of a few don't mean a thing in my book.
If not for the few who answer the call and do what is needed, none of us would have the freedom to say anything other then yes mine comrade leader.

My freedom comes from your doing what needs be done.

[angelgirl]

(((Don)))

Yep, I LOVE YOU. I mean that..

You deserve every bit of respect that you have here at SR, and that is alot..
Why would you not? Because you slipped? Well I know plently of people who have slipped here. Sounds like you have done alot of things, so that you don't continue to drink?

Don, you killed people, because you were in war. That is what happens in war. It is a difficult thing. You had no choice, it was kill, or be killed. That is what war is about. No one here, or anywhere, other than your veteran friends, can really understand what you went through,. But, I am sorry for what you did go through, just as, I am soooo graeful to you. We can never repay you for what you have done, I understand that, so do so many others..


I just really want you to know that I love you Don..

Becky

[pedagogue]

CBT can be a very effective therapy......for certain people. The advantage of CBT over many of the other techniques is the timeline for seeing change (which the insurance companies want). The disadvantage is that it often one deals with the first level or two of issues. It lacks the ability to really get down deep because the exploration and solution to an issue aren't merely a definable cognition / behavior, but a more complex interaction of a number of variables, many of which are not clear.

Are you part of a vietnam veteran's support group? Vietnam (as you know) was a very different war for everyone involved. War is horrible enough, but when you roll in misinformation, spotty support, and a failure to acknowledge the real sacrafice of the combatants.....the results can be catostrophic for those left to battle their demons alone (figuratively).

I will not pretend to know your story, but I do have a few suggestions that may help. First off, you need to eventually find an active vietnam support group. I say eventually because you may need a bit of time to 'find your story' because a support group can be helpful. In many cases of trauma (whether it be from a sexual/incest survivor, war veteran, domestic abuse survivor, etc) a person loses their story. The truths that happened are buried amongst the feelings of shame/rage/depression/etc. Finding your story story, and subsequently being able to tell your story, are important steps in the healing process.

I have listed two books that may help you frame your story. The first one is by Judith Herman, who wrote a ground breaking book about the REAL consequences of various types of trauma (the same ones I listed above), and how we misinterpret how trauma effects our lives.

The second book is by Tim O'brien (who you have probably heard of, and may or may not have read). He has become a voice for soldiers from vietnam. His way of telling his story was through writing. To be able to tell his story, he ties in both fiction and fact. Just because he uses fiction doesn't make his stories less true, in fact they help tell the true story because he is able to get it out there to people, to try and help them understand, and in the process.....also help veterans understand part of what happened.

The Things They Carried , by Time O'Brien

Trauma & Recovery , by Judith Herman

I wish I could write more, but I have a plane to catch. I'll check back in tonight and write some more.

-p

[In memory of miracle]

((( Don )))
Terrible war, fought in the jungle in terrible conditions. I can't imagine and of course that is going to stay with you. If it didnt than there really would be something wrong with you. The thing is you never knew who was going to try to kill you.Don, you work with kid's now, you help save there lives. Don I met you, you are no killer in ordinary time's! Don, give your burden to HP, he can bear it. Lets both live in today.
PS- Forget about the CBT! Its not for you! XXXOOOO

[bikewench]

I don't deserve your thoughts.

That's shame talking.

And that's cool Don.

You wouldn't be the decent human being you are if you didn't carry shame around what happened...


You just keep doing what YOU need to do Don..
none of us get to wellness on the same path.

praying for you..

[In memory of miracle]

Amen...(( Bikewench ))

[cwohio]

((don w)) i am so sorry for your pain - i hear my husband "talking" when i read your words - he didn't let those feelings our very often which ate him alive. i wish i could give you a big hug in person and your wife too! you DO deserve our thoughts and prayers and thanks for serving!

[shutterbug]

Don....you most definetly DO deserve our thoughts!

Ask yourself this....what would have become of you if you hadn't killed while in Vietnam?

You weren't given a choice were you? This was something you were made to do. Haven't you beat yourself up long enough over this? Somehow, my friend, I wish you could find a way to forgive yourself? You didn't start the war. It's not your fault!

CBT is like anything else...just because it works for some doesn't mean it works for everyone. I personally don't know if it works for me or not b/c I'm not sure I've even been with a therapist who does CBT???

Pray that your HP will take away your guilt and to help you forgive yourself for what's in the past. What's in the past has nothing to do with who you are today!

"Let go and let God"....

I hear your pain in your words and I wish I could reach out to you in some beneficial way, but all I can do is pray that this weight will be lifted from your heart.

Many hugs my dear friend.
Be gentle with yourself right now.

[indigo]

Take care of the beautiful soul you have become Don, I hold you in my heart and in my thoughts....I hope you can let go and forgive yourself you DESERVE to.

Love indie

[historyteach]

(((Don)))
Love to you...

Shalom, my friend...

[shutterbug]

Thinking of you today.... and prayers....