my releif

[allan ray neel]

hello i am allan started as a alcholic around five my daddy owned a bar in a small missouri town and thought it was cute .Then he woke mom one night i was in the bed with them in the middle safe huh. not that night......dad awoke to wake my mother and nudged me to just in time for me to see him fall from the bed of a massive hart attack they say he never had a chance of course this was 1970 all i remeber is seeing him in the casket at the same church my sister married in . you know i never stoped drinking the little beers and i never stopped thinking of dad.a few years passed and i broke a plaque my mawmaw neel had giving my mom who never stopped greiving? and i guess i havent ethere and i just turned 40.but any way the plaque i broke i tried to fix i was probably 7 and wound up burning down the house my negighbors? pulled me out and put out the leather fringed jacket dad had gotten me his last x-mas with us i was wearing it time goes on a little gas huffing actually alot i should be dead my self.but i got told on and hospitalized for it my brother helped so i made it thru that phase my brother who was 13 time of dads death thought selling pot would help with the bills and my acting out so i had free acess at about 9 from then on my brother who is 8 years older than i became my role model he did not know the end results he has been down 5 times for sales he is 48 now and probably wont see50 dad was 47 my sister she is the only one who did right may god bless her and her family.....At 12 i came in the first time drunk my step uncle let me out at end of the road and i crawled thru the mud in to the house where mom beat the boy with no feelings i will skip a little .i got my licience at 16 that was a joke got drunk had them a total of three months had totaled 2 cars then mom had to hitch a ride to work because of me school wasent my bag so texas here i come learned how to weld so i always had a good job and a illness that is still here today i have been addicted to everything out there i have had several d.w.i.my doctors kept me out of prison and the medication seems to help if you ask me my drug of choice is cocaine overdosed twice meth if it was there i made a lot of money off that stage? I have sobriety now but i struggle everyday i have a family that supports me so everything in my life isent bad but i hope better is on the way please feel free to email me cause my life cannot be one of a kind but it feels that way i hope i have helped at least one person then it has helped me too god bless allan

[bella]

hi, allan. i am so glad you chose to post over here with us. you are definately not alone. we have all walked down much of the same paths or atleast have helped a loved one down a path or two. we are all here for you. please keep posting. feel free to pm any time you just want to talk, vent or whatever. oh and btw my mom was born and raised in kennett. small world huh?

here for you
samantha

[shutterbug]

((((Welcome))) to SR Allen!

I had a little difficulty understanding some of what you wrote, but I think I got the jest of it. I'm glad you're sober now and you should be super proud of yourself b/c that's not an easy thing to do (as you well know).

Are you in any kind of 12-step program like AA or NA? Those are highly successful programs for keeping peeps sober for the rest of their lives and there are tons of them to be found all over the place and are filled with peeps who are going through the same things you are and who can literally be guardian angels. I never knew such truely caring people existed! They can help you in SO many ways that you could probably never imagine.

Here is a link to the AA forum here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1

And here's the link to the Narcotics Anonymos forum:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1

You might want to copy everything you wrote here and paste it into a thread into one or both of these forums since there will be tons of people who can relate to your story there.

And I would also like to suggest joining your local Nar-anon and/or Alanon since growing up with addicted parents affect us in so many ways that we normally aren't aware of.

Nar-anon forum here is:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1

Adult Children of Alcoholics is:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1

Friends and Family of Alcoholics (Alanon) is:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/.../?daysprune=-1
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ics-anonymous/

Seeking help is a very good step....getting support is a giant step that can mean long term success.

hugs and God bless,
Jenna

[bikewench]

Excellent post Shutter...
all the resources any user could ask for ....



Hey Allan...
Welcome to Sober Recovery...

.. and mental health... ;o)

I have multi addictions as well.. and coke is one of them..

You've walked a long hard road... but.. your sober now.. even though it's still a struggle...
I found that the fellowship of the 12 Step Program is what keeps me walking the right path... one day at a time...
Most of my family doesn't know half of what goes on with me... and I need the honesty and openness of the program to be able to keep my life straight..

I hope you check out the other links Shutter gave...
all marvelous tools to get us further into peace of mind.

[bella]

Allan, you still there? touch base with us and let us know how it's going.

[Don W]

Hi allan, Welcome to SR. Using or not you're welcome here. I can't speak for others but, I posted for almost a year while dring on and off. The thing is to stay connected. We don't judge people here, we only offer help and a friendly caring ear or two. Shutter, that is a great post and like Karm and Bike said keep us up to date. Once you've been here we consider each other family and we worry. Glad you are here.

[bella]

this is where i start to worry.... Allan if you are there, please post again and let us know whats up. you are in such a precarious spot in your life. forgive the misspellings. just know that we are thinking of you and we are here for you.

samantha

[shutterbug]

karmabella....I'm like you....I worry about peeps when we don't hear anything for a while, but sometimes peeps forget the web address.

Funny....I often hand out my e-mail address around here and occationally people will e-mail me and ask me what the site address is for SR.

I kinda wish that when you initially signed up for SR that some how peeps would automatically get an e-mail every so often reminding them that we are here and how to get back to us in case they forgot or got lost.

All I can do though is pray for peeps though and trust that they will be led where they need to be.