help with insane sociopathic sibling

[crazysister]

forgive me if there is already a thread on this, ive looked around and found no info on how to treat an insane sociopath.

i am completely convinced that my sister is an insane sociopath, she has no respect for anyone, not a care in the world, a complete parasite, extremely belligerent(both verbally and physically abusive), and absolutely no social life. she has had 4 different jobs, and two failed marriages, in her 12 month career as a nurse, after a 7 year stay in college, she is also a pathological liar(i think she lies mainly for the attention(whether positive or negative) my parents tend to focus on her afterwards).
im posting because she is, very slowly and painfully, destroying the mental and physical health of my parents; and i cant bear to watch them suffer any longer. I NEED TO KNOW if there is any medication i can slip in her food, that might help her? is this disease curable? what action can i take? please help....

[Don W]

I'm sorry about your problems. I don't have much medical information but, I do have experence being an alcoholic and recovering. The problem here, to me is your parents. They are what we call enablers. I'd suggest you try and get them to seek help. Like alanon helps those affected by alcohol, I'm sure there is a support group for you. I'm afraid that as long as your parents continue to allow and clean up this behavior will continue. I'd guess they might blame themselves for her problems and feel it's their responsibility to fix it. The help is also suggested for you. Your sister is an adult and responsible to seek help. You and your parents are responsible for your help and recovery. I can tell you that alcohol had me doing the many things your sister is doing.
There is hope, as you can tell by the people here in mental health. I'm being treated for PTSD and there is medication. however, medication isn't a magic cure. A program of counseling and medication is what works for many. This won't be easy but, she won't be helped, until you and parents learn how to let go and let God. Please keep in touch. We're here to listen and encourage. There are many with experence in this on Mental Health Board. Mine are only suggestions, others may offer different path.

[shutterbug]

Please do not go slipping anything into your sister's food! Please!
She might be insane and she might be a sociopath, but that doesn't give you a right to drug her. If she is that bad off then your parents can have her admitted into a psych hospital for evaluation and possible treatment, but unless she comes to terms with her own problems and wants to change NOTHING will change her.

Your parents need to learn how not to be co-dependent....meaning that they can still love her and help her, but not to the detrement of their own health. Same goes for you. They need to love her from a distance so as not to get wrapped up in her problems....which means THEY have to change. And you can't make them change either. They only thing you have ANY power over is yourself....how to change yourself so that your sister can live her live however destructively she is gunna live it and not let it affect you negatively. Can be a tough thing to do, but it is the healthiest thing to do.

Your sister has to fail and not be picked up every time before she will ever decide to get help for herself. Knowledge is also beneficial for someone who might have a mental illness.

I'm not convienced (although, I'm not a doctor) that your sis is a sociopath. Sounds like she definetly has poor social and coping skills though and that can be helped through therapy....but again, it's something she has to want for herself.

I personally dated a guy off and on for a year who was a self-proclaimed sociopath, and he definetly fit many of the patterns of one, but about 70 percent of me believes he is not a true sociopath b/c he often morns the loss of his sons to the extent of uncontrollable tears (and he's one of those men who refuse to cry in front of people). Other than that little tid bit....he fits the sociopath profile. Mostly, he's super-highly intellegent and an alcoholic (which complicates ANY mental health diagnosis) and I think he tells people he is one just so he can get away with his actions and not be held responsible for them.

And if she is a sociopath, then you have to realize that it's an illness, just like cancer and she can't control it.

Can it be cured (if she is)....NO!

Can it be treated....yes, but not completely (or very affectively, I think, but again I'm not a doc and only know what I researched about the illness when I was dating this man last year.

I personally believe that good therapy would be most beneficial...that and if your parents or anyone else quite enabling her...it will make her have to face the reality of her actions. But here again....i never researched prescribed meds for a sociopath, so there might be some very good ones out there that a good psychiatrist could prescribe.

Is she insane? That's something totally different in my opinion. I don't think anyone can be rightly called insane unless they have totally lost touch with reality (like a girl I met once who said I was her daughter and she was married to a famous rap star and the next she was married to the nurse at the hospital and she kept asking me if I was gunna start visiting her more often and why was I mad at her and she wanted to give me her diamand wedding ring that looked like it costed $5,000 to $10,000) And even her, I don't really think she is insane. I could tell by her closes, jewelry and make-up that she led a very normal life when she was on the proper medications and I came to the conclusion that she probably stopped taking her meds like so many do from time to time.

Overall.....insane is just not a good word to use, in my personal opinion.

And maybe she is just a mean person for whatever reasons. Doesn't mean she's a sociopath. My brother-in-law (only for a short while longer) is going through his 3rd divorce and I believe he has some serious problems, but is no where near being a socio-path....he's just a very mean and stubburn person who doesn't want to change or try to be happy. and that's his choice if he want's to live his life that way.

It also took me 7 years to get my BA degree....doesn't mean i'm a sociopath....i just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and I struggled with all of my math classes and many of my other classes b/c of my learning disabilities (that I wasn't aware of during the time).

Honestly....I wouldn't be surprized if your sister has a substance abuse problem, but I could be wrong.

All-in-all, there's really nothing you can do except point out that she is distroying your parents mental health and that they need to take care of themselves first or else they will end up so bad off that they won't be able to help her, you or themselves when REAL help is needed. Then take your focus off of her and let her destroy her own life and worry about YOUR happiness. Might sound cruel, but it's actually more beneficial to her than the way most of us react to family like that. I'm speaking from experience with that. Take care of yourself.....you have no more power than to control your own life and trying to control someone else's life is wrong and worthless and ineffective.

sorry if my words sound harsh. They are spoken with lots of care and concern for all of you.

Hugs,
Jenna

[deepfox]

Sorry for bumping this 3 yr old thread, I just found this in google.

I have the same exact problem, I just recently found out that my sister is a sociopath. I've been doing a lot of research about it in the internet these past few days. If you get to know her at first, you'll find that she's sweet, charming, and friendly. But when you turned your back at her she begins telling lies that would change how other people will look at you.

She has done it with our neighbors before we were living in an apartment. Because she looks like someone you can trust some people think that they can tell things that they wouldn't expect her to use it against themselves. Until my neighbors got together and talked to each other why they've been hearing bad things from each other. Until everything points to my sister, then they found out that she's the one spreading bad rumors. Until one day they all came to our apartment and they're looking for her. She didn't admit what she had done. She just cried.

Same thing happened to my Aunt. They almost got divorced because of those lies that she's been telling to the relatives of my Aunt's husband. My aunt's family got angry at her and told my mom about it. My sister told my mother she wouldn't do anything like that and just cried to her. My mother believed her and hated my aunt.

We got another sister who is married. Somehow she got the husband to sleep with her. Ofcourse when my sister found out about that she completely divorced her husband.

She does thing that will put her in to the advantage. She's good with it. The lies she's been doing is ruining lives. And she's making my relationship with my mother a living hell. My mother doesn't believe me anymore because she has almost completely turned my mother against me.

The problem is I love my mother, and she doesn't believe me. My sister is like manipulating my mother to do things to her advantage. She has completely clouded my mother's mind.

[nandm]

Welcome to SR and our mental health forum!

I am sorry you are having to go through this problem. Unfortunately I do not have any experience in this area. I am sure someone will be along soon who can share their experience with you. Take care.

[deepfox]

Thanks for the welcome. I already did a couple of research on the internet and I already know the solution... but I just can't ignore my mother.

Most of my relatives who hated my sister already knows that she has a mental disorder. It was just recently I found out while watching CSI in television that my sister is a sociopath. Every symptons of being a sociopath she perfectly has them.

The simple small lies that she's been telling will turn everyone against each other. It's very manipulating. She doesn't stop telling something bad about someone especially if she doesn't like them. She'll do everything to win.

I know it very rare for someone to be a sociopath. 1% for women is a very small chance. That 1% chance happens to be my sociopathic sister who is a part of my live whether I like it or not.

[TiredMama]

Welcome to SR!!

I have not experienced anyone with sociopathic tendencies (that I know of) but I do hope she finds some help and your parents do too.

[sistergone1]

We are in the same boat. My sister fits the description. I believe the only reason for the 1% statistic is the avoidance/denial/adept pathological lying/etc... of the rest of them. They are out there...much more than 1%. Keep researching.

[sistergone1]

just trying to get my 5 posts in so we can chat. i can't approach my family yet. i just want to find someone who has experience outside of the.... "spouse" "boyfriend" " co-worker" "parent" arena.... hope you are still there....

[nandm]

Sistergone1, welcome to SR and our mental health forum.

The thread that you have posted in is an older thread. I am unsure if the person you are trying to contact is still here at SR. I would suggest you try starting a thread of your own and give others here a chance to get to know you as I am sure there is someone here who can share their experience, strength, and hope with you.

[deepfox]

Few years ago, my mother stopped funding my college when my sister graduated from highschool. She went to an expensive university but she didn't finished it.

My mother has bought my sister a car last christmas and none for me. Right now I'm working on trying to get away from her as far a possible. Since she's really destroying my life. I put a trojan into her computer and have hacked all of her mails so I'll know what she's up to. And I'm not surprised that she's been feeding my mother lots of lies about me. I just wanted to know what's she's been up to.

I already have a family now, and we're happy. I almost got divorced with my wife because of her but we're happy now and we now understand the situation. It seems like my sister is jealous and want to ruin me, since I'm her brother and her greatest competetor because that's the way how she sees me.

I'll move my family as far away as possible to her. And close communications with herm even at the expense of having little communication with my mother but I'm watching every move she does since she's got control of my mother.

Sorry for bumping this thread again, since this is the only thread I know where people actually listens and doesn't make immature replies unlike in other public forums.

Thanks for reading

[historyteach]

Deepfox,
You'd be much better off starting your own thread.
You would have far more replies to it then, and perhaps get some valuable feedback to your problems.

I'm sorry you are dealing with such painful issues. Sometimes, it's important to stay away from toxic people.

Shalom!