I've stopped taking my lithium

[shutterbug]

A month and a half of getting so sick at my stomach when i get up that I often throw up.....and i'm done. I've had it. I told my doc this 2-3 weeks ago and she didn't care. I even ran across a pamphlet from her office that said nausea is a side-affect of lithium yet she blamed it on my weight.

So yesterday was my first day off of it.
My old psychiatrist would have never put me on it in the first place.
And i've felt a little better since not taking it for two days.

So all i'm on now is Welbutrin and Visteril (as needed) and something for my asthma.

I think i'm gunna stay off a mood stabalizer for a while just to see. I feel so bad all the time that i don't think i can feel any worse for not taking it and my manias were never bad anyway.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

[Wolfstarr]

(((Jenna)))
My daughter is on Lithium. She has gained a lot of weight from it. It doesn't make her sick (nauseous) and she swears by it. She has been on it for well over a year now. She gets a level drawn very soon...

I can tell you from my own experience with medication that I do the same thing. I will quit something if I think it is making me feel worse. Not a good thing in the long run. Self medicating and self RX'ing is one of my bad habits... If you don't want to take it, that's ok. But at least tell your pdoc about the discontinuance.
I will promise to do the same the next time I adjust a dose...
Love ya,

[shutterbug]

i know it's not a good idea, but i'm sick of feeling this way and i'm tired of this particular doc not listening to me. I mean why in the world she would start talking about my fat pushing up on my stomach and making me throw up....is totally beyond me and it's not the first time she's negligently talked about my weight. I don't think she has any right to make comments about my weight in the first place. I also didn't start taking the Lexapro she added to my mix last visit.

I've already set up a plan for my crappy (but nice) therapist to sit in on my next med-clinic visit with this woman and i'm gunna tell her why i never started the Lexapro and why i have stopped the lithium. (but i'd like to tell her what i think about her witchy little, arogant butt). I think the only things this woman knows about head meds is the difference between serotonin and norepinephrin! Cus those are the two things she constantly talks about and the only 2 things she constantly talks about!

I just really can't stand this woman any longer. I've grinned and bared it for like 6 months now and i've just had enough of her and i dont' know what to do.

[shutterbug]

i serously think she got her med degree out of a cracker jack box (or else she bought of her professors for A's)

[Wolfstarr]

Jenna,

Some of these pdocs are worse off than the patients!! THEN they try to help us!

How inane.

Can't you ask for a change? Isn't there some way you could ask for another Dr since this one isn't a help at all?? Dang it girl I feel for you. The weight issue well...I won't go there. Touchy subject with me. I feel that she shouldn't dwell on that issue with you and please tell her it bothers you!!
I tell my therapist directly when he pisses me off or says something that irritates me.

Jenna I just want you to know I am on your side....I hope all works out for you.

Hugs,

[shutterbug]

Thanks wolf.....my therapist says that there may be a slim chance that i may be able to drive to another town to see a different psychiatrist which brings a whole new set of problems for me, but hey....if they can send me there then i'm gunna try my darndest to make it there. Although she said since i'm not on any kind of insurance or even Medicade that i might not be able to...so well see.

i'm super afraid to say anything to this woman. i'm afraid of conflict and this woman really is a witch. She's hateful to me when i'm sitting there being as sweet as apple pie...so who knows how she will act if i tell her what she says bothers me. And also there's just something about me....i'm not able to confront people without being ruthless about it (that's the only way i know to really describe it). It's like i must have some kind of confrontational twang in my voice or posture or something that puts people into fight mode.....all while i'm trying to hold my own fight mode back....make since? It's like throwing two fighting chickens into the ring....if they can reach each other then they are gunna fight......same thing when i open my mouth to confront people ---> If they can hear me and react then they are gunna come out fighting in retaliation. I try to remain calm and collected and to put things as gently as possible, but it never works.....so i might ask my therapist to do the talking for me or something....hey maybe that's an idea....thanks.

[RX-7]

she put you on too high of a dose for a beginner, unless thats changed. as for what she seid of the weight well she is like the sewer full of crap.

[liveweyerd]

Geez Jenna, I can see why you don't want the lithium but why refuse the Lexapro?
I disagree with you when you say depression can't get worse, in my experience it is a progressive disease. That is why I will NEVER stop taking my antidepressants, I am afraid I don't have another recovery in me. Actually I take two antidepressants and need them both. Took a long, long time to come up with the right mix. The second is trazadone.
I hate your shrink long distance.
I have had alot of bad ones, I am very grateful for the wonderful one I have now who listens to me and believes me, encourages, supports and educates all with my wellness and happiness being the goal. No matter where I go I am keeping her. I took a different job in Indiana and told them I would have to fly back to FL every 3 months to see my DR.
On to read up on your other posts.....

[shutterbug]

Tena, i was given the Lexapro a few years back when i was only mildly depressed and it made me so tired i couldn't get out of bed so after a month i stopped taking it.

Now i'm already so tired that i can barely get out of bed or even shower that there's just no way i can go through any more fatigue. That woman said there were 4 different anti-d's i could take and that was the only one i said i didn't want and yet she gave me that one. I guess it's part b/c i can't afford to be any more tired than this and part in principle in that she NEEDS to listen to what her patients tell her. And you are right, i know i need the anti-d's and i do want to add another one to my Wellbutrin, but i think i'm gunna go it alone without a mood stabilizer for a while and see how things go. I don't have bad manic episodes anyway...just up cleaning my house for 2-3 days which is a very good things....so i'm not worried about being off the lithium. Besides, i think the mood stabilzers are playing a major role in my sever fatigue. I'm 3 or 4 days off the lithium and i feel like i'm getting a little more energy back each day. If i had bad manics then i wouldn't do this, but my old doc would have never put me on lithium for this reason. He had me on Lamictal because it helps the anti-d's work better. It's basically better for combating depression than manics and it was working fine for me. I don't even know why she switched my mood stabalizer...she just doesn't have any justification for anything she does.

Talked to my therapist today and she said "no go" on the changing to a differnt med doc in another town since i'm not on medicare or any other insurance...i'm stuck with el stupido.

Anyway....thanks everyone for everything.

[Don W]

Jenna, Sorry to read about all this medication problem. For something that is suppose to help reduce stress, being responsible for adding it is crazy. Hope things get better.

[dizzyj]

Shutterbug, how are you doing? better i hope. I totally understand about the being too tired to do anything, thing. Im going thru the same thing, they still won't give me any meds, except the Naltrexone. Which is for the drinking. So im still going thru everything else on my own, the drinking didn't do anything but make it go away. And that seemed better at the time. Iwas so tired all the time so i started taking the epherdrine. Now it showing on my urine's as amphetimes - just one more problem to explain. When i said why i was taking so many daily. She didn't believe me and thinks im on meth. So thats what im dealing with now.

Why on earth did you stop taking your lithum??? Its gonna take awhile for them to figure out what works for you. I gotta leave to go take a urine. be right back. Dont go anywhere im not done with you.

[angelgirl]

Hey Jenna,


Have yu ever been on Topamax?
I don't know if it would be a good mix with the other meds you are on, but it seems to be a good med for alot of people. I am on it, and I am not sure yet how I feel about it. I just dont know. I am not happy about another med. period, but they think it's what I should be on, so, I gues, I will see how it continues..

I don't know anything about yout weight, but, I know youa re on Welbutrin, and Both Topamax, and Welbutrin help curb hunger,,, well, really do help you lose weight,,
Don't know if the combo will be too much for you, or if it's even something you would want to look at.?? Topamax is a mood stbalizer, but it is used for many, many different things. Even for pain.
Just thought it might be something you might want to talk to your doctor about??

I hope you start feeling better...
Love,
Becky

[dizzyj]

jenna,
Hi, i'm back, this new medicine makes you feel kinda weird. Like i'm high, then 5 minutes later im not. Like nodding out and ****. I'm tired but every time i lay down, i feel like i have to get back again. Maybe thats what its supposed to do make me feel high so i think i drunk, **** it dont know.

Did you talk to the doctor before you just quit all the medicine? What else where you taking? Did really make you feel all that bad, or were you just in a shity mood and decided to quit taking them, talk to me.

[Alera]

Have you tried the lithium time release? I got very sick on the regular capsules, throwing up every dose but I was able to tolerate the time release a lot better.

My doc had told me that nausea and throwing up are not abnormal side effects at all.

I haven't been on any mood stabilizers since I was a teenager but I'm thinking about starting topomax as a migraine prevention med. Does it make one tired?

Thanks!

[shutterbug]

Thanks Don.

Dizzy, I stopped the lithuim because i was tired of throwing up and being so nauseaus for a month and a half. At 30 days in, i told my Pdoc and she said it was probably my weight. I then found a phamplet about lithium (that i had picked up months earlier from HER office) that said nausea is a typical side affect (like Alera said). That's when i started getting more pissed at my incompetent and obviously discriminating (b/c of my weight) and started thinking.

My old, and excellent, pdoc had put me on Lamictal b/c it helps more with the depression side than the mania side which is what i need. And as far as i know, the lithium is mainly to keep the mania at bay. So nausea and really not needing it anyway (since manias are not a problem for me) is why i stopped the lithium.

I didn't stop taking the Lexapro, i just never started it is all -- b/c of the lethargy side-affect that i know happens to me from past trial of it. Again, my doc just didn't listen to me.

I'm glad that med is working to help you not drink...you're probably right about the highs. Just please be sure and work the AA program, b/c otherwise, in my opinion only of course, all your efforts will be useless and in vain b/c you will eventually return to drinking if not in a life-long program.

Angelgirl, no i haven't tried Topamax. I have a lot of pain that i deal with and the curbing my appetite side-affect sounds nice too, so i will ask the doc about it when i see her next week. Question though???? Is it also prescribed for help sleeping like Trazadone or anything? (I can't take stuff like that Trazadone can literally kill me in my sleep very easily b/c i have sleep apnea).

Alera, i didn't know there was a time-released form of lithium....my doc should have mentioned that one during my last visit. Anyway....lesson learned...i know lithium isn't for me.

I agree, the Topamax sounds like a good choice for those dealing with bipolar and pain management issues and weight issues. I'm hoping it doesn't make you sleepy, cus otherwise i would like to try it i think.

Thanks for all you guys. Sorry that i keep talking about how much i dislike my doc....when i obsess, i obsess and when i feel jilted then i really obsess. Just a part of who i am right now.

Hugs,

[shutterbug]

As for how i'm doing:

better except for the emotional part of the depression has gotten worse. I'm crying a lot more and isolating a lot more and feeling more hopeless. So basically, i know i need to be on another anti-depressant, i just refuse to take the lexapro and don't see the doc for another week now...so i'll just have to wait it out.

Physically, i'm not hurting so much or feeling so fatigued and utterly exhausted. Still i don't do anything, but that's b/c of no motivation rather than lack of energy i think.

I think going off the lithium was a really good thing for me to do, but i'll keep you posted.

[Don W]

Shutterbug, I can identify with your feelings. I want so much to just be left alone at times, and isolate. Funny how you can feel so good and then hit a spell of, for no other way to explain it, confussion. Wanting something but, not really knowing what.
Wanting to be alone but, not wanting to be. All I can say is, my way to deal with it is to keep forcing myself to do what I don't want to do. In most cases it is best for me.
The energy thing has really got me also. I just don't feel like doing anything. I've resorted to writting one thing down I'd like to accomplish. If I make more than one right now I get overwhelmed and do nothing. I have alot of things going on in my life right now. Maybe when I get home I'll empty some thoughts on SR. Manytimes you've all helped me make decisions. I need someone to play the devils advocate at times and other times just need my confidence built. Without alcohol I trust myself now but, don't always believe in myself. If that makes sense.

[shutterbug]

yeah that makes sense Don
And "Wanting something, but not really knowing what"....that's a good way to put most of my days. (and especailly all my food cravings lately).

I tried doing the "3 thing-a-day list" where i would wake up and write down three things i wanted most to accomplish that day....

Result: none of them got done that day, but one got done the next day.
So i like your idea of the "1-a-day" thing, or actually for me i think i'll say that's the one thing i "hope" to complete today, but it's okay if i can't get it done until tomorrow or by week's end....b/c it's all about "progress, not perfection." I'm starting to learn that more deeply and it helps me not beat myself up SO much these days.

-----
I'm still doing good off of the lithium. Today was the first day i've woken up with pain in about a week or longer so that's been a plus. I know, this time anyway, that the pain came from pushing myself to get things done around the house over a period of 2 days. I'm not talking about typical muscle soreness that people get when they excersize....just pain from what i think is a drain of stored energy.

Actually, funny part is that the most painful part of my body all day --- my hands, fingers (as if I've been squeezing on a hand-ball for 2 days or something).

I think that's pretty much the best way to describe my physical aspects to this illness. It's like each day I get a penny (which equals a small amount of energy) and i keep saving each penny so that after 10 days i have a dime of energy and then after a month i have a quarter. Well, in order to do 2 loads of laundry it costs me 10 cents and to take out the trash is a nickle. Overall straightening and organizing of 3 rooms costs another dime. So there....now i've spent my only quarter. So if i do any other physical activity then i'm in debt and that's when i wake up with the pain from head to toe.

See, i think normal people naturally acquire about 30 - 50 cents a day, so you can see that my meisly little penny-a-day doesn't go very far. So I have to sustain much longer periods of saving (inactivity) before i can accomplish things.

Does that make any sense at all....oh well.

It's been a good couple of days cus my piggy bank was 1/2 full and i enjoyed spending it on cleaning and thinking...