ten days

[liveweyerd]

hi, all,

yeah, I'm still counting. Makes it more managable and helps me have some sort of perspective.

I kind of got to laughing to myself about all this tonight. So much here is about managing with out drugs and I am just riding it out one day at a time until I get my drugs!! Which will be Wed. I still have a scrip for Celexa because I quit taking it some time around July I think. It makes me damn mad and feeling defective that I have to have them. But I'm sick and I'm scared of getting any sicker which is what is going to go down if I don't treat it. Depression can take all the life out of me so that I don't even have a spark to work with, y'know?

Took Dayna to her class tonight and sat in the library and read. Just looking through books at random and ran across one by Melody Beatty (author or Co-dep no more & letting go etc) have all ready forgotten the name of this one, but I kind of speed read/skimmed it and it was about losing her son. She talked about how she no longer cared and no longer functioned, how she lost herself. I appreciate hearing this successful person identify this. I seem to have so much shame about it.

I am a bookworm. My earliest ambition was to learn to read. I tried to fake it when I was 4 yrs old by memorizing my story books. I thought then that "they" would let me go to school. I've had my nose in a book ever since. As a kid, they would say, put that down, come watch tv and spend time with the rest of us. hahha I would scrunch down in the bean bag in front of the tv with a book hidden in with me. hahahaha
Any way, I read that book "Life Strategies" by Dr. Phil; it is very motivating. He also has an excellent book titled "Relationship Rescue". He's a little dogmatic tho'. Says we have to change ourselves and make every effort before we bail out of a relationship....but he says any addiction, and/or physcial abuse is an absolute deal breaker, get out and get out now. I don't know Dr. Phil. I don't think there's a set answer for everybody. What about the vow of "thro' sickness and health"?

Anyway, a book I would recommend to any and all as being full of wisdom, love and compassion and wisdom, I know I said that all ready but it is so full of it! is Ethics for the New Millenium by the Dalai Llama. It is not a religious book, so don't let his title get in the way of a marvelous gift.

Other writers such as Scott Peck and Gerald May assert that we are all addicts. There's a chapter in one of them entitled Addiction the Sacred Disease. Both of these are written from a Christian perspective. Both men are emminent psychologists.
I am at daughter's so I don't have my personal library at hand, otherwise I wish I could share from them better. I think the main point is that each and every one of us is broken and needs to surrender to God's healing, addictions such as workaholic or others that are more socially acceptable or more easily hidden or less apt to obviously disrupt our lives might be considered a handicap as one is less aware of one's brokenness and one's need.

need to run, back later,tena

Thanks tena,

It is so true that we all have addictions. I've worked through some of mine, but still have some. I always feel bad asking my son to quit drinking when I haven't been able to quit smoking. We all have so much work to do on ourselves. I am one to always rescue a marriage if possible. Sometimes it's just not possible.

I don't do well on prozac and have to look for another medication. I dump half the capsule out and have to go off of it for a week out of every month because it starts making m feel overwhelmed. I guess I'll try something else. It hasn't really helped my depression, but it has helped my PTSD.

Trial and error.

Hugs,
MG

[liveweyerd]

MG

Alot of the newer anti-depressants are more refined, targeted, and gentler....fewer side effects and less withdrawal.

Over the years I've been prescribed 4 different ones and each is unique. Trial and error is right.

For me Prozac and Paxil is too much. Often I have been prescribed an anti-anxiety medication in addition to the anti-depressant. I prefer the Celexa, it doesn't seem to artificially alter me, but it eliminates the depression. It's the only one that didn't make me go haywire on withdrawal. But there are lots of them out there, so if one doesn't work just right, there are others.

Zoloft seems to be a very popular one too.

Have you taken any of the anti-anxiety meds? I'm curious as to what others think of them? I have reservations about it even tho' I have definitely needed them at times.

Prozac is my first and I've only been on it for about 3 months. Buspar is a popular one for anxiety with the clients I work with. I've never tried it though.

I hate medication, but I need it for stress. I have that low level depression that is always there but doesn't stop me from functioning. I forget what they call it. It starts with a D. The prozac didn't do a thing for it.

Hugs,
MG

<font face="Verdana" size="4"><i>
Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will try to live through this day only,<br>
<dd><ul>and not tackle my whole life problem at once.</ul>
<dd>I can do something for twelve hours<br>
<dd><ul>that would appall me</ul>
<dd><ul>if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.</ul><br>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will be happy.<br>
<dd>This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said,<br>
<dd><ul>that &quot;Most folks are as happy</ul>
<dd><ul>as they make up their minds to be.&quot;</ul><br>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will adjust myself to what is,<br>
<dd><ul>and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.</ul>
<dd>I will take my &quot;luck&quot; as it comes,<br>
<dd><ul>and fit myself to it.</ul><br>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will try to strengthen my mind.<br>
<dd>I will study. I will learn something useful.<br>
<dd>I will not be a mental loafer.<br>
<dd>I will read something that requires effort,<br>
<dd><ul>thought, and concentration.</ul></p>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will exercise my soul in three ways:<br>
<dd>I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out;<br>
<dd><ul>if anybody knows of it, it will not count.</ul>
<dd>I will do at least two things I don't want to do,<br>
<dd><ul>just for exercise.</ul>
<dd>I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt;<br>
<dd><ul>they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.</ul><br>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can,<br>
<dd><ul>dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously,</ul>
<dd><ul>criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything,</ul>
<dd><ul>and not try to improve or regulate anybody</ul>
<dd><ul>except myself.</ul><br>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will have a program.<br>
<dd>I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.<br>
<dd>I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.</p>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax.<br>
<dd>During this half hour, some time,<br>
<dd><ul>I will try to get a better perspective of my life.</ul><br>

Just for today:<br>
<dd>I will be unafraid.<br>
<dd>Especially I will not be afraid<br>
<dd><ul>to enjoy what is beautiful,</ul>
<dd><ul>and to believe that I give to the world,</ul>
<dd><ul>so the world will give to me.</ul><br>
</i>
</font></ul></ul></div>
<center>
<font face="Verdana" size="3"><i>
~ Ruth Carter-Bourdon</i></font></p>
<br>
<font face="Arial" size=3>
One can make a day of any size, and regulate the rising and the<br>
setting of his own sun and the brightness of its shining.&quot;</p>
~~John Muir (1838-1914)
</font></p>