Fed up

[Gypsygirlmom]

I'm just here to vent! So, don't mind me. My daughter 13 is BipolarII, Rapid Cycler, Mixed Episodes. Very high IQ. For 3 yrs. now I have been fighting the school to get help for her. Meetings after meetings, but nothing ever gets done. Its always a wait and see. So if we have a meeting at the beginning of the yr. she is getting all A's. Then they say she doesn't need the help, so we will meet again in a month or so. I told them in the fall I want a progress report every wk. so we can stay on her. Otherwise she gets so far gone with not doing work, losing work. It then becomes so overwhelming to her that she can't get out. Last yr. this time she did the same thing, started off great, then the crash & burn. Meeting today showed 3 F's, D's & a C. They say they were sending the reports home with her, she says they were to busy. OK, well we know this is her fault she didn't show us. But wouldn't you just think the school would have called?????? They know we've been very involved in her education. I'm just pissed. She is not a kid that is just not doing it. She gets to a point where she can't. I would think it was their responsibility to inform the parents. So now today they say, well we need to get the IEP in effect, so we can help her. NO DUH, you idiots, what have I been saying these past few yrs. Had they done this 3 yrs. ago, we would not be where we're at now. This is 13 yr. old that will still ask for a hug & kiss at night (when she's in the mood of course ) I'm just so angry at the school, the world, her for being bipolar, and myself for not being able to fix it and make her better. She told me last night that she was getting depressed, I know she's been up past midnight because she can't sleep. I really need God to take care of her. She could go so far if she wasn't self-sabataging herself. And hell, she listen to the school for 3 yrs. now just saying she was bad, and not doing her work. I'm sure that it a wonderful self-esteem booster. I'd love to homeschool her.....but I know she'd end up DUCK TAPED TO THE WALL by the end of the day! I have a headache. Thank's for letting me dump. I just wish I knew how to help her. I keep trying to do all the right things...and yet I am soo helpless.

[devastated]

Hello Gypsygirlmom:

My son is also bipolar and add. He is 40 years old and unfortunately, it has only been since October that he was finally diagnosed with this disease. He's always been a problem, but who knew in those days about these diseases. Wow! I know exaclty how you feel. Only, you at least, have stepped in and can do something about it. When my son was having these problems in school they just kicked him out and he ended up in a boys home labeled "incorigible". He went to one and another and another landed in jail as a teen and prison as an adult. Very high IQ. Capable of anything! Every time he started to get his life in order he would sabotage himself. As we speak, he has been kicked out of the girlfriends house and finally got him to go to his Dad's house (which he absolutely hates being there) 3 hours away. He is on medication but, because he didn't take it, he ended up raging and out of control and thrashed the girlfriends house. Man, we're up and down like a see-saw! I cry all the time, but since I joined this forum (he also has substance abuse problems) I'm trying to learn to detach. He has been gone for two days and is on his way. Got a job as a foreman running a 10-man crew. I hope he doesn't fall back....it just seems soon as he gets the world by the tail, he falls back! Let's hope not! As for your daughter and the school.....stick to your guns! Keep pressing that school. Don't let them send her anywhere else...they owe her an education. Wish I had known that years ago. Hugs, Devastated

[Gypsygirlmom]

Thank you Devastated,
I read your other post about what you've been going thru with your son & my heart goes out to you. It is just seems to be so much more when it is your child. Almost like something is ingrained in us that we "have" to fix it no matter what. But we can't. My husband, A, pretty much followed the same path as your son. Was sent to a juvenile home, having to many problems, so was labeled bad. He's 37 now, and back then they weren't helping, just labeling & kicking them out. I know he's ADHD, & didn't even find out he was dyslexic until he realized it himself as an adult. I like your description, the see-saw! that exactly where were at. I have to look at her 1st & wait til she says the 1st word, so I know how to act! And I thought I was walking on eggshells with the A. Who knows if she is using again. She's on a mood stabilizer, so I'm not sure why she is going thru this. Seems tho, she did the same thing last yr. at this time. She is so explosive again, and going into a depression, didn't fall asleep until 4 am, can't sleep, then school in the a.m. Now tells me she doesn't want an IEP. She just needs to do the work. Hmmm, ok. Then what next time? This girl could have the world by the A$$, but when we talk about the grades, she tells me don't worry mom, I've got it all handled. Hello, anyone home in there? She'll have to get straight A's this qtr. to bring her grade up to a C by semester. OK, I'm not worried! Sorry for rambling! I keep trying to figure out at what point I turn this over to my or her HP. And what scares the heck out of me is the rate of addiction for bipolar is astranomical! Almost like, she's thinking: may as well give up now. I'm powerless, I'm poweless, I'm powerless!!
I really hope your son does well, and will seek the help he needs. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your son!

[devastated]

Hi Gypsygirlsmom:

Read your post...so your husband also has been diagnosed as dyslexic! My son was also dyslexic..discovered in grade school and that was the only thing that they helped him with. Wow! goes to prove that this is heritary. I wonder if the genes passed on to your daughter. My son is adopted at 3 days old. The birth certificate is sealed. I have power of attorney and am going to write to the state and see what I can find out about the birth parents. This bipolar and ADD has got to be in the genes. He has two children both with bipolar disorder. I know exactly what it's like to walk on eggshells! I can't believe I can be this old and have to worry about how I can speak to him. I have to trust in God that all is going to be ok. He has gotten me through some pretty rough times and He will help you just keep praying! Fortunately, you caught your Daughter at a young age! Good for you! Keep trying! Never forget your HP! Hugs, Devastated