So depressed - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

angelgirl · 08-30-2005, 01:38 PM

They denied my app. for disability again... Last year when they denied it, i went out and started using again because I was so depressed.. They didn't even lok into it, they denied it in 1 1/2 month..
I know some of you probably thinik thats to bad, I should work anyway, I have heard it before.. But I have such terrible social anxiety, extremely shy, mood disorders.. I just am not able to handle a job yet, my counselors agree, it would jeperdise my recovery right now.. I can't handle a whole lot more

I can't , this is to much, I have thousands, and thousands of medical bills due to my addiction, and my mental health. I see a therapist, I attend a dual diagnosis, I see a psych. Gosh, reading that makes me sound really bad.. I also see a D/A counselor... I gave up my job, that paid very well due to all of my problems, and my drug addiction...
Oh, I am just depressed,, but this time I AM NOT GOING TO USE OVER THIS, I AM HIRING A LAWYER!!!

Love, Becky

In memory of miracle · 08-30-2005, 01:48 PM

((( Becky )))
You know they alway's deny it the first time? Of course your deppressed, you are dealing with alot right now,and you are doing the right thing by staying sober no matter what. Do you have a social worker who may be able to guide you to some resources? A Dept. of Social Services in your are you can make an app with? You may be able to get some benefits to tide you over a bit. Hang in there. I am pulling for you!
Bless, Trish

shestruggles · 08-30-2005, 02:55 PM

Oh, dear sweet Becky...

I was headed down here to start my own similar thread.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know you well enough to be sure that you won't use to deal with it...even if you want to. Escapism...I know the feeling of utter despair, just wanting to disappear & make all these bills stop!

If it comes down to it - curl up in the bed and pull the covers over your head for a while. Scream and cry and get it all out. You can't change the bills. You can't change the idiots that turned out down. At least not this moment. I know it seems weird to suggest that you let yourself just fall down for a while - but anything is better than using.

I've been trying all day to 'fix' some problems that I just can't handle. I'm so frustated and upset and hopeless, I almost wanted to score. Instead I just let myself fall apart for a bit. I'm depressed, I'm miserable and I just have to ride it out...

I'm tired of working so danm hard to get my life in order, only to face dissapointment at every turn. I can feel your frustration. I say - let it pass.

When your energy returns (and it will!) start chipping away at the problem. The medical bills can wait. They have to - you have no choice. You don't have the money. Once you're ready to give it another shot, follow some of the advice others have shared, such as contacing a social worker. I know when you're overwhelmed and depressed, it seems like no ideas will help...but they might when you have the resolve to try again. That's all you can do, sweetheart.

Me, I'm going for a good cry and lie in bed. I'm sick of feeling guilty for being depressed. I have to let it pass. I can't do anymore right now...

I hope this helps in some lame way. I'm not suggesting you give up - just give up for a few hours, or whatever it takes for youto get your strength back. You're exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed, dear...Please be good to yourself & know it will get better - is HAS TO!!! (i HOPE)

i LOVE YOUR GUTS, SWEET BECKY!!!

mendingheart · 08-30-2005, 07:27 PM

My heart goes out to you guys.......whatever you do, DO NOT USE!!! Not worth it at all. There will always be something somewhere......
My cousin is on disability for fibromyalgia, and it took her three times before it went through. (I have never heard of anyone getting it the first time)
Stay strong, and here's a big hug for you!
Mendingheart

KatieRose · 09-03-2005, 07:37 AM

Becky,

all i can say is i will continue to pray for you.

katie

angelgirl · 09-03-2005, 04:03 PM

Thanks so much mending and Katie, that is SO WONDERFUL of you to offer me much needed support. I was a bit afraid to even post about disability, but I am no longer afraid. I am having far to many problems I need help with, it would be to much for me to get a job right now.. My sleeping problems are the number one problem I need too deal with first. It is a diability in itself, and I am having trouble getting it under control. I finally went to sleep this morning at 5am. I will not be able to work, until I get this straightened out,a nd I can't resort to sleeping pills, I am afraid of that, that can be an addiction in itself.
I have always worked, sometimes 2 jobs. I worked my last job doing shift work for over 11 years. I paid much into SS, and I have always supported every charity that I could, while I was working. Now I need some help ONLY for a while. I do not expect to live my life on diablity for the rest of my life. I will work again. I need to work again, for my own sanity, and self-esteem. I just need to work through this crap first..

Thanks again, I appreciate it so much.. Please pray for me..
Love, Becky

KatieRose · 09-03-2005, 04:53 PM

Becky,

Most of my friends live in other states. Praying is 1 thing i can do. Please let me know if you need someone to listen.

katie

Chance · 09-03-2005, 05:55 PM

((((Becky))))

I am so so glad that you are here and I do understand where you are coming from except the part where you are denied, I was approved right away in less then 2 months but mine is for my breathing and now I only get $571.00 a month, no help for food (convicted drug felon) no help with anything and I can not live on it, but I can not work cause I can not exert myself like I should be able to. I don't have any answers for you but I will pray for you and I hope the best.

Love Vic

08-30-2005, 01:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	So depressed They denied my app. for disability again... Last year when they denied it, i went out and started using again because I was so depressed.. They didn't even lok into it, they denied it in 1 1/2 month.. I know some of you probably thinik thats to bad, I should work anyway, I have heard it before.. But I have such terrible social anxiety, extremely shy, mood disorders.. I just am not able to handle a job yet, my counselors agree, it would jeperdise my recovery right now.. I can't handle a whole lot more I can't , this is to much, I have thousands, and thousands of medical bills due to my addiction, and my mental health. I see a therapist, I attend a dual diagnosis, I see a psych. Gosh, reading that makes me sound really bad.. I also see a D/A counselor... I gave up my job, that paid very well due to all of my problems, and my drug addiction... Oh, I am just depressed,, but this time I AM NOT GOING TO USE OVER THIS, I AM HIRING A LAWYER!!! Love, Becky __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

08-30-2005, 01:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
In memory of miracle In Memory Of Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Connecticut. Posts: 3,740	((( Becky ))) You know they alway's deny it the first time? Of course your deppressed, you are dealing with alot right now,and you are doing the right thing by staying sober no matter what. Do you have a social worker who may be able to guide you to some resources? A Dept. of Social Services in your are you can make an app with? You may be able to get some benefits to tide you over a bit. Hang in there. I am pulling for you! Bless, Trish __________________ In Memory Of Teach only love...

08-30-2005, 02:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
shestruggles Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: waysouth Posts: 394	Oh, dear sweet Becky... I was headed down here to start my own similar thread. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know you well enough to be sure that you won't use to deal with it...even if you want to. Escapism...I know the feeling of utter despair, just wanting to disappear & make all these bills stop! If it comes down to it - curl up in the bed and pull the covers over your head for a while. Scream and cry and get it all out. You can't change the bills. You can't change the idiots that turned out down. At least not this moment. I know it seems weird to suggest that you let yourself just fall down for a while - but anything is better than using. I've been trying all day to 'fix' some problems that I just can't handle. I'm so frustated and upset and hopeless, I almost wanted to score. Instead I just let myself fall apart for a bit. I'm depressed, I'm miserable and I just have to ride it out... I'm tired of working so danm hard to get my life in order, only to face dissapointment at every turn. I can feel your frustration. I say - let it pass. When your energy returns (and it will!) start chipping away at the problem. The medical bills can wait. They have to - you have no choice. You don't have the money. Once you're ready to give it another shot, follow some of the advice others have shared, such as contacing a social worker. I know when you're overwhelmed and depressed, it seems like no ideas will help...but they might when you have the resolve to try again. That's all you can do, sweetheart. Me, I'm going for a good cry and lie in bed. I'm sick of feeling guilty for being depressed. I have to let it pass. I can't do anymore right now... I hope this helps in some lame way. I'm not suggesting you give up - just give up for a few hours, or whatever it takes for youto get your strength back. You're exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed, dear...Please be good to yourself & know it will get better - is HAS TO!!! (i HOPE) i LOVE YOUR GUTS, SWEET BECKY!!! __________________ "Things do not change; we change" (Henry David Thoreau)

08-30-2005, 07:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
mendingheart Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: home sweet home Posts: 282	My heart goes out to you guys.......whatever you do, DO NOT USE!!! Not worth it at all. There will always be something somewhere...... My cousin is on disability for fibromyalgia, and it took her three times before it went through. (I have never heard of anyone getting it the first time) Stay strong, and here's a big hug for you! Mendingheart __________________ PEACE. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in you heart. TODAY IS A GIFT....

09-03-2005, 04:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	Thanks so much mending and Katie, that is SO WONDERFUL of you to offer me much needed support. I was a bit afraid to even post about disability, but I am no longer afraid. I am having far to many problems I need help with, it would be to much for me to get a job right now.. My sleeping problems are the number one problem I need too deal with first. It is a diability in itself, and I am having trouble getting it under control. I finally went to sleep this morning at 5am. I will not be able to work, until I get this straightened out,a nd I can't resort to sleeping pills, I am afraid of that, that can be an addiction in itself. I have always worked, sometimes 2 jobs. I worked my last job doing shift work for over 11 years. I paid much into SS, and I have always supported every charity that I could, while I was working. Now I need some help ONLY for a while. I do not expect to live my life on diablity for the rest of my life. I will work again. I need to work again, for my own sanity, and self-esteem. I just need to work through this crap first.. Thanks again, I appreciate it so much.. Please pray for me.. Love, Becky __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

09-03-2005, 07:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
KatieRose Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Indiana Posts: 162	Becky, all i can say is i will continue to pray for you. katie

09-03-2005, 04:53 PM	#7 (permalink)
KatieRose Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Indiana Posts: 162	Becky, Most of my friends live in other states. Praying is 1 thing i can do. Please let me know if you need someone to listen. katie

09-03-2005, 05:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
Chance JUST DO IT!! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Here Or There Posts: 7,097 Blog Entries: 9	((((Becky)))) I am so so glad that you are here and I do understand where you are coming from except the part where you are denied, I was approved right away in less then 2 months but mine is for my breathing and now I only get $571.00 a month, no help for food (convicted drug felon) no help with anything and I can not live on it, but I can not work cause I can not exert myself like I should be able to. I don't have any answers for you but I will pray for you and I hope the best. Love Vic __________________ With Love and Respect Vic Life isn't yesterday or tomorrow it is in the now.....

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