what to do?

I think I may be bi-polar. My family does.
My daughter just got out of re-hab for drug abuse. so far I think she is ok.But she just moved back home and we are both having a hard time dealing with this.she doesnt want to be around me.
My father -who WAS bi-polar just died two weeks ago after a 4 yr struggle against cancer. We were very close. Her was my greatest champion.
I just had a scare with a breast lump which luckily turned out to be nothing.
My husband and I are going through starting our own new business and are financilly streached, what with the added expense and work plus the expense of the rehab and her unpaid bills.
I am the only regular wage earner so I can't go crazy. But I feel like I am.
I have been depressed badly before and it felt like this. My family thinks I go to extrems emotionally. I am either happy and full of energy-I am rarely relaxed, or sad and don't want to face another day. I am pushing my daughter into relapse and angering my husband and worrying my family.
My grandmother(dad's mom) killed herself when I was 3 yrs old-took arsnic) rather than go back for more shock treatments( the 50's). Most of my dad's family is on something for mental swings.
My recovering Addict daughter wants me to go to a DR, she says she will go too, and we will get counseling together.
My problem is it will cost more than I have.
she is not back to working yet and I have to pay her bills.3 yrs ago I went through something like this and I can't stand it.
The counselor only told me to exercise and play my music-I play several instruments and I can't think about other stuff when I do this. I really don't want to go on a bunch of pills. Especially after what she's been through.plus it is weak. But I don't want to be this way. I am ruining everyones life.

[HelpDepression]

You're most definitely NOT ruining everyone's lives. It sounds to me like you're doing your best to keep everyone else's lives from falling appart.

I would suggest going to see a doctor. Many people have financial concerns when it comes to this subject, but there always seems to be ways around it. Sometimes you can see a graduate student at a nearby university for cheap or free. Sometimes the doctor will work with you to come up with payment based on your income. There's always options.

Plus ... if you're daughter is suggesting it, that's a really good sign. Not only does it show that she wants to get help, but also that she loves you and wants you to get help, and that she's not going to give up on you, but rather be there for you when you need her most.

With as much history of mental illness as your family seems to have, I can't offer any better advice than to see a doctor. If you're unhappy with that doctor, find another. If it means pills, ask the doctor for another option. If there aren't any other options, well ... that gets back into whether or not you find another doctor.

I hope this helped.

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Chad Colbert
chad@helpdepression.com
http://www.helpdepression.com/

[amazonjudy]

hay super women,

take a deep breath, thats right now tomarrow call around to councling centers and find one
on a sliding scale i pay 3 dollors a visit and make 15.000 a year or if your really broke tell them your lower income not your husbands, get you in first and get checked for depression there is some test on the net to find out to look in my sancuary for boarderline personality disorder they cover it all including meds to help cope till you have had alittle councling to get the real tools you need to servive this your biting off to much we did not get sick over night
and our loves ones problems did not start over night, so it will be a minute but you sound like a great women and just need to unload alittle if i can help let me know good luck and give your self a big pat on the back you deserve a big round of applause
judy
and then get your daught in to but for a little while do it alone then you can bring in everyone else in a few months

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Amazonjudy