Im Lonley.

[betterdayz]

I have never had a girlfriend before in my life and im about to be 19 years old. I am good looking I know this because girls have told me. The thing is though I have never been able to talk to the opposite sex or make a connection. When I was in school girls would say something to me or write me a note and I would never write back or call back even when I would want to. I have had sex before but only when drunk and so were they. I am really embaressed about the two girls I slept with in the past .. I think I do not deserve or not good enough for someone thats normal. I feel I have missed out on things that normal people my age should of went through. I can not even approach a girl and if I would I do not think she would like me. I am pretty isolated person in general. I spend a lot of time by myself on the computer or laying on my bed watching tv just to kill time. I really want to be around people but I feel out of place for some reason. Even the friends I did have which were very few.. when we would hang out all we did is get high and drunk together. The best time I had in the last couple of years was sadle enough in my second rehab..but I think that was because I was forced to be around the same people.

Anyone have any idea what is up with me?

[pedagogue]

You touched on a number of areas....

-Self-imposed isolation
-Self-esteem issues (You do not value yourself enough)
-Uncomfortable feelings in social situations

These things aren't fixed in a day, but they are areas you can improve. For your self-imposed isolation.....you need to plan some activities that get you out....whether they be physical activities (gym, biking in park, etc), leisure activities (trip to coffee house, free live music shows, etc), or just trips to explore your town/area. If you have a car you can take some day trips....look up things that are maybe an hour or so away. Ask a friend/family member to go with you...or go by yourself. Set a goal of doing at least 1 'exposure' a day. Maybe weekend days get 3.

Start with that...and work towards the other two things.

-pedagogue