'Dual diagnosis': bipolar and alchol problems
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: London
Posts: 7
'Dual diagnosis': bipolar and alchol problems
Hi all,
Three years ago I was diagnosed as being bipolar (not sure whether I or II or whatever, as doctors don't tend to be that specific in the UK). Anyway, my pattern was first depressive episode (undiagnosed) when I was 20, lasting about 6 months, then manic/psychotic leading to hospitalization when I was 25 (resulting in Dx), recovered and relapsed again a year later and again the following year (due to not taking meds, abusing cannabis and alcohol etc). There were brief periods of depression in between each manic episode, but basically I have now been stable for the past year and a bit. Two weeks ago I stopped drinking and entered into AA, as I feel this is the last area I need to clean up in my life - I quit the weed a while back and generally have got into a good mode of self-management, so the bipolar is not really so much of a problem these days.
Now I'm confused since starting in AA. All the character traits that are attributed to the 'alcoholic' mind, I had previously put down to my bipolar status. It took a while to accept the diagnosis, and to accept the label of being a manic-depressive, and it was hard, with all the stigma attached to that. It seems like now I'm comfortable as seeing myself in that role, as having a chemical imbalance in my brain which makes me different from 99% of the population, now AA's telling me something different. It's confusing. The AA program is something that is good for me, and I think will help me. But sometimes it is frustrating that there seem to be so many absolutes in life - you know, you ARE and alcoholic, or you ARE bipolar. I see myself as bipolar first and foremost and the alcoholism is secondary, although some people may disagree with that.
I'm not looking for answers to this dilemma, as I know nobody has the monopoly on truth, and I just have deal with myself and my experiences. It is difficult though because sometimes it seems like nobody else understands. I am a highly functioning manic-depressive and a highly functioning alcoholic. New people that I have met over the past year would never have guessed I had problems in either of these areas, until I told them. And I do tell people after a while of knowing them because I want to help remove the stigma of mental illhealth, to show that we're not all nutcases (unless we are at that point in an acute phase of illness
) In fact right now I am finding myself feeling more stigmatised (self-induced probably) because of the alcohol problem.
Has anybody else had any similar thoughts?
Three years ago I was diagnosed as being bipolar (not sure whether I or II or whatever, as doctors don't tend to be that specific in the UK). Anyway, my pattern was first depressive episode (undiagnosed) when I was 20, lasting about 6 months, then manic/psychotic leading to hospitalization when I was 25 (resulting in Dx), recovered and relapsed again a year later and again the following year (due to not taking meds, abusing cannabis and alcohol etc). There were brief periods of depression in between each manic episode, but basically I have now been stable for the past year and a bit. Two weeks ago I stopped drinking and entered into AA, as I feel this is the last area I need to clean up in my life - I quit the weed a while back and generally have got into a good mode of self-management, so the bipolar is not really so much of a problem these days.
Now I'm confused since starting in AA. All the character traits that are attributed to the 'alcoholic' mind, I had previously put down to my bipolar status. It took a while to accept the diagnosis, and to accept the label of being a manic-depressive, and it was hard, with all the stigma attached to that. It seems like now I'm comfortable as seeing myself in that role, as having a chemical imbalance in my brain which makes me different from 99% of the population, now AA's telling me something different. It's confusing. The AA program is something that is good for me, and I think will help me. But sometimes it is frustrating that there seem to be so many absolutes in life - you know, you ARE and alcoholic, or you ARE bipolar. I see myself as bipolar first and foremost and the alcoholism is secondary, although some people may disagree with that.
I'm not looking for answers to this dilemma, as I know nobody has the monopoly on truth, and I just have deal with myself and my experiences. It is difficult though because sometimes it seems like nobody else understands. I am a highly functioning manic-depressive and a highly functioning alcoholic. New people that I have met over the past year would never have guessed I had problems in either of these areas, until I told them. And I do tell people after a while of knowing them because I want to help remove the stigma of mental illhealth, to show that we're not all nutcases (unless we are at that point in an acute phase of illness
) In fact right now I am finding myself feeling more stigmatised (self-induced probably) because of the alcohol problem.Has anybody else had any similar thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
It seems like now I'm comfortable as seeing myself in that role, as having a chemical imbalance in my brain which makes me different from 99% of the population, now AA's telling me something different.
My husband has fairly serious depression, I utterly believe there's a chemical imbalance. He had a really rough week last week and it was so obvious something was VERY wrong. He has an alcohol problem - yes alcohol aggrivates the depression - personally I don't doubt depression had lots to do with him getting addicted. Either way all I know god help the person who tries to tell me the depression isn't as real as the nose on my face!
I can't for the life of me see why people find mental health so hard to get their head round - who can seriously believe we have this very complex organ (our brain) that (unlike the rest of the body) is immune to physical problems?
I put it down to mythologies of the sacredness of our thoughts - but myth it is because the brain is JUST a body part, an important one but absolutely as physical as any other.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
The Twelve Steps and Dual Disorders <------ This is a book that may interest you!
"I realized I was a whole person and could not divide my recovery into separate parts for each illness." —Pat Samples, co-author of The Twelve Steps and Dual Disorders
Dual Recovery Anonymous <----- And here is a website to look at, too!
I once started a thread on here called something like "Symptom or Character Defect" when I was pondering similar dilemmas and working on my 6th Step. I wonder if I could find that thread. Hmm...
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk further, Choirgirl, OK?
Love and hugs,
Eddie
"I realized I was a whole person and could not divide my recovery into separate parts for each illness." —Pat Samples, co-author of The Twelve Steps and Dual Disorders
Dual Recovery Anonymous <----- And here is a website to look at, too!
I once started a thread on here called something like "Symptom or Character Defect" when I was pondering similar dilemmas and working on my 6th Step. I wonder if I could find that thread. Hmm...
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk further, Choirgirl, OK?
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 1,019
I skimmed your post, and I think you may find some supportive words in books written from the humanistic perspective and/or person-centered perspective. I am of the ilk that believe in treating the person and not just the Dx. I do not know any specific BPD (Bi-Polar Disorder) books with a person-centered slant, but there is probably something out there.
People have a hard time getting past the label and to where the rubber hits the road. A label is just a term used to get your arms around a generalized idea. Many people define themselves by a number of 'labels'.
Feeling the stigma related to your problems is common. Being involved in a (recovery) group offers support because it brings people together who 'get' each other. There is a slightly different slant to each person....but they get the general idea.
-pedagogue
People have a hard time getting past the label and to where the rubber hits the road. A label is just a term used to get your arms around a generalized idea. Many people define themselves by a number of 'labels'.
Feeling the stigma related to your problems is common. Being involved in a (recovery) group offers support because it brings people together who 'get' each other. There is a slightly different slant to each person....but they get the general idea.
-pedagogue
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: London
Posts: 7
Thank you all for your words of advice. It is a pity there are no Dual Recovery Anonymous groups in the UK. I did, however,l hear for a dual diagnosis AA group in London that I am trying to get to, only problem is it is at a time that is inconvenient for me right now. I'm going to try and get hold of s abook or two on the subject though.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
You're welcome, Choirgirl!! According to the international news part of the DRA website, there are some meetings starting up in the UK. I would imagine London would be one of the first places to have one, but I'm not sure how you would go about locating it. That dual diagnosis AA sounds really cool. I hope you will be able to get there someday! In the meantime, that Twelve Steps & Dual Disorders book is really good. Best wishes!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Reikihelps
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 221
Hi Choirgirl,
Wow. Your post resonated with me. My bipolar/recovering addict son fits every one of your descriptors. I will tell him of your post and perhaps you and he can chat.
I have often wondered many of the same things you have. Here in the US the fields of mental heath care and addiction care are so divided. It's frustrating to get appropriate care. Is ther a NAMI in England? Also, the three writers I have found to be very helpful are Lizzie Simon, Dr. Jay Carter, and Kay Jamison.
Hope this helps
Reikihelps
Michele
Wow. Your post resonated with me. My bipolar/recovering addict son fits every one of your descriptors. I will tell him of your post and perhaps you and he can chat.
I have often wondered many of the same things you have. Here in the US the fields of mental heath care and addiction care are so divided. It's frustrating to get appropriate care. Is ther a NAMI in England? Also, the three writers I have found to be very helpful are Lizzie Simon, Dr. Jay Carter, and Kay Jamison.
Hope this helps
Reikihelps
Michele
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NASHVILLE TN
Posts: 1
Dear Choirgirl,
Your story touched my heart and I felt a need to respond. I too suffer from a
dual diagnosis. My diagnosis is not the same as yours but I have to treat both the mental illness and the addiction at the same time. If I treat the addiction and don't treat the mental illness I will fall back into a deep depression and will self-medicate with crack cocaine. If I treat the mental illness and don't treat the addiction, I will fall back into that stinky way of thinking and all of those old behavior's that I am unlearning today. Such as minipulation, conning, not telling the truth, and not being true to myself. In order to work a program of recovery my mind has to be stablized. If it is not then I wouldn't be able to focus, concentrate or comprhend the message
that is being given to me in the rooms of recovery. I was clean once for 2 years and 2 months. I wanted my recovery so bad, but with me being in denial about my mental illness I relasped. I thought at the time that Mental illness ment that I was mental ********. I wouldn't admit to mental illness because I didn't want people to think that I was mental retarted. Plus I was so involved in NA that I was going by what they were telling me to do and that was to stay abstenant from all drugs including perscription medications. Little did I know Anti-Depressants are not mind Altering drugs. I didn't know that they could make me feel so much better without my mind being altard. It took me two years to get back into treatment and this time I got treatment for both my mental illness and addiction. It was through the grace of God that lead me to Dual Recovery. When I got out of treatment there was only 1 DRA meeting held here in Nashville TN. Today, two and a half years later there is 5 meeting held here regulary. I love my meeting because we don't have to keep the topic centered around Alcohol and Drugs, we can talk about the emotional issues that is going on with us and get some pretty good suggestion back from the group by sharing about it. By sharing our problem looses it's power and we are able to function a lot better. We do realize that it is important to do other things for our recovery outside of a Twelve step meeting. We have to continue to be honest with our Psychitrist when we go for a check up. We also have to have talk therapy with our theraphist. I still see my thearphist on a regular basis. She helps me work through the issues I have that I can't share openly yet in a meeting. When it comes to dual diagnosis we have to always keep an open mind because of the no-falt illness that a lot of us are affected with. Other recovery programs want to lable our illness as a charter defect. When you have a illness that is a medical condition, how can someone say that it is a charter defect. Thats why I love the words Liabilities, and assets in our wording of the twelve steps. I hope my words have encouraged you in a healthy way. Good Luck.
Too Lucky
Your story touched my heart and I felt a need to respond. I too suffer from a
dual diagnosis. My diagnosis is not the same as yours but I have to treat both the mental illness and the addiction at the same time. If I treat the addiction and don't treat the mental illness I will fall back into a deep depression and will self-medicate with crack cocaine. If I treat the mental illness and don't treat the addiction, I will fall back into that stinky way of thinking and all of those old behavior's that I am unlearning today. Such as minipulation, conning, not telling the truth, and not being true to myself. In order to work a program of recovery my mind has to be stablized. If it is not then I wouldn't be able to focus, concentrate or comprhend the message
that is being given to me in the rooms of recovery. I was clean once for 2 years and 2 months. I wanted my recovery so bad, but with me being in denial about my mental illness I relasped. I thought at the time that Mental illness ment that I was mental ********. I wouldn't admit to mental illness because I didn't want people to think that I was mental retarted. Plus I was so involved in NA that I was going by what they were telling me to do and that was to stay abstenant from all drugs including perscription medications. Little did I know Anti-Depressants are not mind Altering drugs. I didn't know that they could make me feel so much better without my mind being altard. It took me two years to get back into treatment and this time I got treatment for both my mental illness and addiction. It was through the grace of God that lead me to Dual Recovery. When I got out of treatment there was only 1 DRA meeting held here in Nashville TN. Today, two and a half years later there is 5 meeting held here regulary. I love my meeting because we don't have to keep the topic centered around Alcohol and Drugs, we can talk about the emotional issues that is going on with us and get some pretty good suggestion back from the group by sharing about it. By sharing our problem looses it's power and we are able to function a lot better. We do realize that it is important to do other things for our recovery outside of a Twelve step meeting. We have to continue to be honest with our Psychitrist when we go for a check up. We also have to have talk therapy with our theraphist. I still see my thearphist on a regular basis. She helps me work through the issues I have that I can't share openly yet in a meeting. When it comes to dual diagnosis we have to always keep an open mind because of the no-falt illness that a lot of us are affected with. Other recovery programs want to lable our illness as a charter defect. When you have a illness that is a medical condition, how can someone say that it is a charter defect. Thats why I love the words Liabilities, and assets in our wording of the twelve steps. I hope my words have encouraged you in a healthy way. Good Luck.
Too Lucky
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Thank you so much for sharing that, Too Lucky!!! I love the DRA steps also. I was once told that some of my symptoms were character defects also. Really hurt me. Now that I have my meds all in order, I can stay clean and work on my REAL character defects! But I really wish I had access to DRA meetings around here. I miss them alot!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Love and hugs,
Eddie
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