manic depressive member - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

jjaa · 09-24-2002, 09:14 AM

Hi all, I just need to vent but also get some feedback. There is a guy in my home group who has about 11 years of sobriety. Lately he has been verbally attacking people in meetings and acting like an AA guru, like he is the only one with the answers. He is very angry and egotistical. I mentioned the change in him to a friend and they said that he is manic depressive. So, maybe he is off his meds? I know I am powerless and I guess he is where he is supposed to be but it really bugs me that he is saying things in meetings that newcomers are hearing and maybe getting hurt. The other day he told someone who is really struggling to shut up in a meeting and the guy walked out of the meeting and got drunk. I just wish this guys sponsor would talk to him but maybe he has tried.
Thanks for listening,JJ

permalink · 09-29-2002, 07:09 AM

Hi, I'm sorry to hear someone is being so rude in your group. I wish people would all be respectful in groups and think before they speak. If he has been sober for 11 years and still finds the need to go to group - by the sounds to no benefit to himself or others - I wonder why he goes. Could be like you said he is egotistical & it makes him feel like the AA guru. Often people feeling down in themselves can lash out at others to (subconsiously) gain satisfaction, feel superior or powerful by putting others down or being agressive. Yes this guy could be off his medication but not being totally sane myself I don't think this is a good excuse anyway. Could someone not pull this guy aside and tell him he is being verbaly agressive etc & see if he is okay? Or could a general discussion about the groups rules & respectful behaviour towards other members be brought up. But personally I would speak to the guy directly as that sort of behaviour annoys me. The last time I did aproach someone being disruptive in a group it turned out the person was having a personal crisis & was so strung out they didn't realise how there behaviour was effecting others & they were only attending the group to get their mind of the problem. So they were taking it out on others & didn't realise. Hope it all works out!

Wishing you happiness

09-24-2002, 09:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
jjaa Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: florida Posts: 15	manic depressive member Hi all, I just need to vent but also get some feedback. There is a guy in my home group who has about 11 years of sobriety. Lately he has been verbally attacking people in meetings and acting like an AA guru, like he is the only one with the answers. He is very angry and egotistical. I mentioned the change in him to a friend and they said that he is manic depressive. So, maybe he is off his meds? I know I am powerless and I guess he is where he is supposed to be but it really bugs me that he is saying things in meetings that newcomers are hearing and maybe getting hurt. The other day he told someone who is really struggling to shut up in a meeting and the guy walked out of the meeting and got drunk. I just wish this guys sponsor would talk to him but maybe he has tried. Thanks for listening,JJ

09-29-2002, 07:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
Eve Guest Posts: n/a	no excuse to be rude Hi, I'm sorry to hear someone is being so rude in your group. I wish people would all be respectful in groups and think before they speak. If he has been sober for 11 years and still finds the need to go to group - by the sounds to no benefit to himself or others - I wonder why he goes. Could be like you said he is egotistical & it makes him feel like the AA guru. Often people feeling down in themselves can lash out at others to (subconsiously) gain satisfaction, feel superior or powerful by putting others down or being agressive. Yes this guy could be off his medication but not being totally sane myself I don't think this is a good excuse anyway. Could someone not pull this guy aside and tell him he is being verbaly agressive etc & see if he is okay? Or could a general discussion about the groups rules & respectful behaviour towards other members be brought up. But personally I would speak to the guy directly as that sort of behaviour annoys me. The last time I did aproach someone being disruptive in a group it turned out the person was having a personal crisis & was so strung out they didn't realise how there behaviour was effecting others & they were only attending the group to get their mind of the problem. So they were taking it out on others & didn't realise. Hope it all works out! Wishing you happiness

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