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| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
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i have posted in here before that my son has special needs and i have beeen working with scf and doing all they want me to do since he got out of my house a few times last time was on the 12th of august on friday about 430 a scf worker came to the house with a petition to take my son for tempary custoday of him i am like why i havent done anything wrong he has been safe at home since the safety meeting we had on the 13th of august i got a sensor for the ulitliy door i have been locking doors i take him outside to play daily so he will not want to run off she proceeded to tell me that she recieved another call from the police on monday in regards to him getting out in the morning hours and a friend had to bring him home i am like i dont know what ur talking about at all i was making him breakfast cuz i remember that morning alot cuz the sunday before we lost our dog at walmart when i picked my teen up from gettting her from juvinelle hall so that morning i made the kids breakfast the baby was cute too h epicked out what he wanted eggs and bacon from the frig since he cant talk he grabbed it and gave it carefully to me we had baths after we ate and took my teen over to a friends where she lefted her backpack at with flyers of pictures of our dog in it we went to the human society and was gone all day long i took my daughter to drug and alcohol treatment too and while she was there i signed my son up for disability services in the next building over so there was no way this could have happened at all like this woman accused me of so in the meantime my son is gone and i have no idea where he is i go to court tomorrow my heart is breaking with every moment i am away from him yes i can admit to him getting out of the house on the 12th of august but from that day forward until now he has been safe at home with us talk about being powerless right now that is how i feel i have taking pictures of my home being cleaned up since they were here on friday i didnt have a chance to clean i was gone at the car repair getting my car repaired but the house is cleaned and i have pictures to prove it |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
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mistee, My heart breaks for you. This is temporary. Just do everything they say and you will get your son back. You should get a lawyer assigned to you. Get all the proof you can that you did what you said you did on that day. I'm so sorry. You need to take care of yourself because your kids need you. It won't do them any good if you let this get you down. The one thing you can do for your son right now is take care of yourself. We're here for you, Hugs, MG |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: California
Posts: 24
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Hi Mistee; I agree with MG, this is temporary. Please keep coming to the forum and lean on your Higher Power. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling and wish I could take it from you. Please don't lose faith and continue to work your program. I have found that when I am in pain, it helps me to read and pray and call on my group members for support. I can tell you are a very loving mother and you will get your son back. We're all praying for you and giving you a big hug of support. MonicaR: |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
| another day has passed
im so sad right now i cant stand it my house is so quiet and empty feeling tuesday i took my oldest to rehab center and we got to visist my son for an hour it is better then nothing but i can only see him once a week until i go to court again on october 4th i havent told my family yet cuz of guilt for losing him or somthing i am not sure what it is but i cant seem to tell them yet but i dont like keeping secrets either this whole thing i sleep for a few hours wake up from horrible horrible dream cant sleep and then when i eat nothing stays down the depression i am feeling is so overwhelming from losing my son for no cause to the state is a horrible feeling i saw the family he is with they barely speak english they put him on a bottle again which too me took me forever to wean him since he is special needs if u give him too much stimulatiuon like putting him on your shoulder he gets out of control too i saw the foster parents doing this to him and my son was looking at me and his sister trying to reach for us he was also scheduled for an evalution today for autistism and since the fostor family didnt think it was that important they rescheduled it after taking me months to get his first evalution started im terribly confussed why he is even there cuz the report that they supposed to have was untrue and didnt have a police report to go along with it and on the dates i wasnt even in the city i live in when it happened either IM DUMBFOUNDED BY ALL OF IT THANKS MISTEE |
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| | #5 (permalink) |
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Mistee, I'm so sorry. I know how difficult this must be for you. We in al-anon can understand somewhat because we go through the some of the same emotions when our children are in jail or in harms way. We have to just take it a day at a time and get through each day. We try to turn it over to our Higher Power because we can't do anything to control the situation. Turn your worry into prayer for your son. Lean on your Higher Power. I will also pray for you and your son. Keep posting. You're not alone through this. We are all here for you. Hugs, MG |
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| | #6 (permalink) |
| Grace Under Fire Join Date: May 2002 Location: Another world
Posts: 539
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Mistee, I am so sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine losing a child in this way. I believe no matter how unfair or wrong the situation is at the time, there is a reason for everything. I promise you- keep the faith, pray with all your heart and something good will come out of this. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. We are here for you, and care. You and your family are in my prayers. Hugs
__________________ Josie |
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 18,176
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{{{{Mistee}}} All I can offer is my love and a hug. This is surely terrible for you, and it would upset anyone. You and your children are in my prayers every day. Just know that God will look after you all, even when we have no idea just how He is doing that. He just does. Do the best you can to stay strong, and if there is any way you can get some legal help, please try. In the meantime, just know we are here and we all care!!!
__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~ |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
| mistee here
it is going on 7 days without my son i am really feeeling blue about this i want this big mistake to all go away i know i wasnt home when they said that this supposed to have happened i was set up for something that didnt even take place and now i have to wait until i go to court to prove myself since my workers wont listen to me even when i calmly try to discuss this with them i am shocked and applead how they are treating me and in the end all is going to be surfaced i am not going to allow this to happen to another parent if i can i pray for strengh from, my hp that he gets me thru everyday so that i dont drink or use or even cause myself harm by cutting i dont want childrens services to have anyting that they can use against me i pray god that u will let the truth come out soon at times i hear my little ones giggle or gabber and i go to his room when i get there and he isnt there i sit on his bed and cry like a baby it is totally breaking my heart being away from him my oldest is in rehab where she needs to be getting schooling and learning what drugs and alcohol does to ur body she is in the right place so mom doesnt have to worry so much about her im just feeling angry since my sons foster parents put him back on the bottle wouldnt let me give him his new shoes i got for him they basically told me we dont want anything from u when i was trying to give them his stuff that even broke my heart too i want this to be over with soon my scf worker isnt working with me she is working against me i can feel it when i talk with her on the telephone i even bagged her to call our local police and she ssaid that isnt neccesary i said yes it is cuz they have no new records of him being out running the days that u say he was thanks for listening to me and yes i am angry at this time i didnt do anything wrong this time to have son gone from me |
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| | #9 (permalink) |
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Mistee, Try to keep busy. Maybe you could paint your son's room and decorate it. Paint is not expensive and it would take up some of your time. When your son gets home he will be happy to see it. You can get some plaster of perris and get molds from the candy store and paint them to hang on his wall. Write your son letters so you can get your feelings out and express yourself. Gather the proof you need so you are ready when you go to court. They are not just going to take your word for it. You need to get the proof from the places you were that day. These things are a way for you to take some action and not feel so powerless. Keep posting, we're still listening. Hugs, MG |
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
| ONE WHOLE WEEK MY LITTLE ONE HAS BEEN GONE
well it has been a whole week since my little guy has been in scf custody not a moment goes by that i am not thinking of his well being. i saw him on tuesday and he was wet when the foster mom gave him to me she also gave me a bottle for him with milk in it. which i almost lost it ... in fact i did lose it ....i told the person who handles the visations that my son is weaned from the bottle after my meeting with my son they made me sit in a room for a half an hour until someone could talk to me ...which no one came.. my worker was out of the office and stuff and i said i cant wait anymore i have to travel to another city an hour away from here to enroll her into a treatment center came home and got her out the door she got to say goodbyes to brother like the court ordered on monday of this week thank god that happened cus my oldest felt really bad friday when she came home from coffee with a friend and her little brother was gone and she said mom i was really mean to him today.. i said maybe he wont remmeber u being mean to him since he was awoken and rushed out the door so quickly by the workers when they came and got him ... she said i wished i was there for u it made me cry when she said that cuz we hadnt been getting along that hot since she was trying to see all her friends before going into treatment i broke the news to my family and it took alot of tears and courage to tell them what happened but i did it .... tonite when i talked to my folks again i got nothing but the blame game what did u do to have scf take ur son are u using drugs again blah blah blah blah it hurt me so much i couldnt stay on the phone with my mom any longer. scf is telling me not to call them and to have my attorney call them if i dont like something or i need something go figure mistee |
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| | #11 (permalink) |
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Mistee, Here is a site that may have some information http://www.cpswatch.com/guide/ http://www.cpswatch.com/ 1-800-CPS-WATCH Hugs, MG Last edited by Morning Glory; 09-21-2002 at 01:27 AM. |
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| | #13 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
| court last week
Hi everyone thanks for the replys and support here i really need it at a time like this i went to court and had an attorney appointed to me now i cant talk to him cuz he is out of his office until oct 3rd i go to court again on the oct 4th and for the criminal charge of neglect 2 this week on thursday the caseworker tried to use a bogus report and dates and times that my child was supposed to be out and the judge listened to me when i told her ur honor she is making it up i was in this city when it was supposed to have happened i can get proof if needed now they scf is holding my son due to what happened when he got out of the house on aug 12th something that they have been working with me on since then i have been following what they told me to do and i think that they were just looking for a reason to take him when i told the judge about the poop on the wall she said babies do that and it is a normal thing they do get visitiations to this mom asap so that his sister who went to drug treatment can see her brother since she wasnt able to see him when you took him from the home the judge also stated that everyone needs to get on the same page with me since we are here to help not destroy families then i meet with my attorney and he told me he briefly talked to my sons attorney too and said that most likely i will get him back next court date the waiting is so intense i am sick over it had to go to doc on fri cuz i cant eat and when i do it comes right back up thanks mg for the website info i copied papers so my attorney has them too i cant believe what the system is trying to do to parents o and another thing when i try to call my worker or the supervisor at scf i get u need to call ur atorney now they will not talk to me mistee |
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| | #14 (permalink) |
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Hang in there Mistee. Keep busy and try to stay calm. The court date is just around the corner. Try to eat small meals several times a day instead of trying to eat a lot at once. You are really doing well under the circumstances. I know it's hard to think this way, but get rest while you have the chance. Your son will be home soon and you won't get another break for a long time. Hugs, MG |
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| | #15 (permalink) |
| Grace Under Fire Join Date: May 2002 Location: Another world
Posts: 539
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Mistee, This is such good news! Please take this time to take care of yourself, try to relax-you have been through a horrible ordeal. Your son will be home before you know it, so try not to worry anymore. And this little guy needs you in good shape, baby yourself for awhile-you deserve it. Hugs,
__________________ Josie |
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| | #16 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: California
Posts: 24
| Keep Hangin' in there!
Mistee; You're doing it and it will be over soon. I know this must be so hard for you and I'm glad that you keep posting. Remember, One Day At A Time, and Let go and Let God. He will provide and soon this will all be over. Take care of yourself and have faith in your higher power. Hugs, MonicaR:kisshug: |
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| | #17 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
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today i had a supervised visit with my little man it was scheduled for 930 but my visit didnt start until 1030 i was getting upset so they went and got him for me cuz the tears were streaming down my face i pulled it together by the time he got there for his sake i dont want him seeing me crying right now. the visit went fun we played and all and then he started getting fussy and trying to hide in corners i am not sure why he is doing this he didnt do that before he went into foster care but he also was getting a rash too the scf supervisor said that he wanted to talk to me after the visit he told me that they were moving him to another home today since the foster parents wanted him to leave they said he was too out of control for them he wont sleep when they put him down and he is running off at there home too they said that they want to make a graduale change coming into the home i said most of the agengies that are helping me are going to need alec at home so that i can be there to work with them in the home setting that is the update for now tomorrow i see him again to finish his autistic evalution i think the more visits we have the better for my son and his needs or him coming home mistee |
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| | #18 (permalink) |
| Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 18,176
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You are very brave Mistee, and I give you credit for all the work you are doing with your son. My prayers go with you tomorrow. Please let us know how it goes. {{{{Mistee}}}}
__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~ |
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| | #19 (permalink) |
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Mistee, I'm glad you got to see your son. Now maybe they know how difficult it has been for you to handle this situation. I am sad that he has to get moved again. This must be traumatic for the little guy. I hope they get him back to you soon. Hugs, MG |
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| | #21 (permalink) |
| Grace Under Fire Join Date: May 2002 Location: Another world
Posts: 539
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Mistee, This has to be extremely confusing for your son, I'm glad you got a visit. I find it interesting that these fostor parents have no control. And remember your attorney said you will probably get him back next court date, and the judge seems very much on your side. I believe these scf workers are blowing hot air, and I bet the judge is miffed that they have moved him to another home. I truly believe this is going to be over soon, hang in there! Hugs,
__________________ Josie |
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| | #23 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
| scf
hi everyone scf is telling me that they are going to do all they can to let my son come home to me they wanted to see if he would run off from another home as well as mine so that they know it isnt just a parenting issue that i might have well he has today when i saw him he had a fever and they were taking him to another home i felt so powerless that i couldnt take care of him today i had a chance to talk to my worker and tell her that when the other worker took my son i felt it was a punishment and that my heart is breaking everyday that my son and i are apart i cried and she hugged me telling me that in a few months he will be back home she is going to make it so i can see him more and longer times too this last 6 months has been very difficult for me with my teen and her legal issues and having a special needs son she told me this is a time to heal me due to my daughter trying to kill herself and all she asked did u take the time to heal i said no i have been going on and on taking care of there issues she said this is the time for u to take care of your issues i will do everything in my power to make that happen she promised my son will be safe in the mean time well i get to go to court on the criminal part tomorrow i am asking for an attorney due to i want to have a trial for these neglect charges that they are trying to put on me for my son running off well sorry you guys about the lenghs of these posts but i guess i have to get it all out thanks for being here as always i am finding that it helps when i keep posting last nite i posted a poem that i wrote for my son thanks hugs to all of you mistee |
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| | #24 (permalink) |
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I saw your poem mistee and it was very nice. I think that other worker found out that she was in the wrong when they blamed you for your son running away. Make sure you read that page I posted. It has all your rights listed. Next time you don't have to let them in unless they have a search warrant. I learned a lot from your post by looking up information for you. It's good for all of us to know the rules. This whole thing might be avoided for someone else by asking for a search warrant. Don't take any deals in court before you talk to Josie. Don't let them scare you. Ask them for a day to decide if you're not sure. Use this free time you have to gather the proof you need. I know you're hurting. This too shall pass. Just get through each day. Keep posting, Hugs, MG |
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| | #25 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: oregon
Posts: 67
| follow up
morning glory that site was alot of my strengh over the weekend i have been going there alot to look up things and see what kinds of things workers to do there clients i have even copied some of them to show to my attorney too about the bogus reports and how caseworkers will call them in there selfs on a client thanks so much for the information it is giving me more knowledge that i need to fight for my sons well being mistee |
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