help

I need help. I am 27 I was diagnosed bi polar at age 16. I have not
been on meds since i was about 20

Well MY marriage is falling a part well i can say it fell apart
already.MY husband brought me divorec papers. Then I find out that he has been
emailing his ex wife. The one he said he always loved. Well I have 3
great kids And i dont think I can make it threw this. I cant get out of
bed or work and that is casuing real problems because i need to make
money to move.We decided neither of us can afford the house we are in so
we will move we also decided on joint custody. but he said there will be
no child support. I cant afford an attorny so i am screwed legal aid
only helps custody not divorce. I just dont know what to do anymore. Is
it my bi polar my violent episodes that pushed him away.I tried to get
help one time before but i cant afford the deductable my insurance
company wants. Is there any help out there,I never physically hurt him but i
tend to destroy things when i get angry i put a whole in the door once
and threw a brush at him. Broke the handle off of it. Hell i even
picked up a gun and said i was going to shoot myelf or him one i couldnt
decide.I think thats what pushed him over the edge. I have no energy i
dont even want to be around my kids I am so lost and confused as to why i
am doing my best to gethelp and he still wont help me or even give me a
chance at life . Do i rely on him to much or what i dont know I just
know i am lost alone scared confused and just down right tired of livivng
my kids are better off without me for i am no good to them like this .
Coral
:cry3: :cry3: :dead2:

Coral,

Welcome to the recovey forum.

There has to be a way in your state to get the medical attention you need. Did you do better when you were taking medication??

I don't think you can focus on the other issues in your life until you solve the bipolar issue. Start calling around and find a place with free help.

I know you can contact the District Attorney and find out about child support. They will get it for you. This service doesn't cost anything.

And last but not least. GET RID OF THE GUNS!!!!!!!!!!! That is a temptation you don't need right now.

Keep sharing. It helps to get the support you need.

Hugs,

MG

Well It has been so long since I have been on meds I dont remeber if it helped or not. I know i need to take care of my bi polar but I am afraid I will loose him totally if I havent already. I cant stop thinking about it. Its making me crazy. I have called 4 diffrent clinic's around me and they all say if i have insurance I am sol. Unless i come up with the 200 deductable.I am at my wits end here. I guess i just need to vent about it thanks for listing

Some of the posts on the al-anon board may help. Sounds like you have some codependency issues like the rest of us over there. Feel free to read and post there too.

I wish I had some advice on how to get your medication. Maybe someone else will come along with some information. I'm not familiar with how your state handles a situation like this.

Hugs,

MG

I started taking meds 12 years ago when I was 2 years sober. It has been a long, long journey but I am finally stable.

For 6 years I was in a very, VERY bad relationship, and we both blamed it on me and my manic depression. I ran from doctor to doctor trying to get my meds straight inm order to "fix" my relationship. I finally got it that a bad relationship is a bad relationship - incompatibility is no one's fault.

I encourage you to go to the county mental health center. They will be able to help you if you really want to be helped. If you truly want to get better you will find help without any money. Look in the phone book.

Bi Polar Disorder needs to be dealt with on a daily basis with the help of therapy and medication. Find a doctor to talk to and they may be able to help you get back on track. Dojn't worry about cost, focus on getting help and you will be surprised at what will come to you.

I strongly believe in medication. I have an illness and I know I will die if I don't take care of my dis-ease. Just like diabetics have to take daily insulin, we have to take our daily meds. If you were diagnosed with something other than Bi Polar Disorder would you take your meds? Then why are you balking now?

Why live in hell if you don't have to??

Welcome to the recovery forum misspea.

It's good to have you with us.

Hugs,

MG

[Ann]

Just want to say welcome as well misspea.

Your contribution here is very helpful and I thank you for sharing your experience.

[margo]

Hi Coral - I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time right now. It sounds like you have so much on your plate that you don't know where to start and you're going in circles. The first thing you need to do is get some help for yourself because it will be hard to cope with anything else until you do. Here in Canada, most of the major pharmaceutical companies will supply medications for a patient that can't afford them, but need them, through a program called "Compassionate Release." Ask your doctor to look into this for you as I would think that the same applies in the U.S. The request has to come from your doctor. Also, most doctors' offices have samples of medications that the drug reps supply, so that could be a source to get you started, too.

If you and your husband can work out the details of your divorce, if it does come to that, you can handle that between you if you are able to work out the details amicably, but get yourself a lawyer to handle the custody and child support issues. Your husband can't dictate the issue of child support. Only a court can do that.

Lastly, most mental health professionals have a sliding scale for patients who can't afford to pay the full fees. Check to see if there is a mental health centre in your area that can help you in the right direction. One little step in the right direction can help you feel a whole lot better and help you to feel that you are taking control of the situation instead of feeling like the situation is taking control of you. One other source you could try is the Crisis Line. They will also have information on different resources and phone numbers. Look in your phone book for the number. Good luck to you, Coral. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

I am glad to be aboard.

I was in a BP support group at my mental health center, but it was only about 3 people, and I think they just wanted to whine and not really be healthy.

Also, my doctor gets my meds for free from drug sales reps, and I belong to patient assistance programs for free meds through the pharmaceutical companies, as well.

[superbusy]

Coral, I went through a period where I could not afford meds. So, in my infinite wisdom (lol) I quit taking them. When I finally was eligible for medical coverage through the state I went back to the doctor. She told me that they could have given me samples. Also, there are vouchers that they give out, you take them to the pharmacy and it covers the cost of the script. And there are drug companies that will supply meds if you are low income and no script coverage. I think (but don't hold me to this) that there was a ten dollar application fee. There also was something I found online once that did "free" meds, for an application fee that they would refund if your prescription wouldn't be available. Some if not most mental health facilities operate on the sliding fee scale, so if you can't afford it, they go by your income as to how much you pay. Don't make yourself do without something that you could benefit from or put yourself in a bad position when there are answers. The truth is there are a lot of solutions out there. You just have to be willing to look for them and admit that you need help. You might have to be a little pushy to get what you need, but hey, you're worth it.