Newlight7

Ever feel that you're floating through life completely unhappy? I see everyone around me happy, having fun, relatively carefree. And then there's me. I spend the majority of my time sad, hurt, or worrying. I don't want to waste my life being unhappy. The only time I felt fine was when I drank. Then the next day it was like being hit by a brick wall. I've been sober a month now. So I'm starting to see what I need to work on. I just don't know how I'll ever become one of those happy people I so long to be.

Yogini1603

Have you spoken to your GP? I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety before I started drinking and now I've stopped, I still take my medication because it's something I need. Things are of course going to take a while to sort out, mentally, because we've spent so long abusing ourselves, but if you're finding it really hard, you might be able to get counselling and other help from a doctor.

Despite me taking medication, during drinking they were rendered completely useless, then when I stopped, I decided they weren't working and a friend in recovery told me "you didn't get sick overnight, you won't get well overnight". Patience is hard, especially for addicts in my experience :-)

totfit

Do you exercise and eat healthy? Without exercise of some sort and eating a good diet I would definitely have some major issues. I know the hardest thing to do in sobriety for me initially was "forcing" myself into activities. Getting out of myself, active and involved in life was a force thing at first and now it is natural and the thing that keeps me going. Stopping drinking did not cure my ills, just gave me the opportunity to do something about them. Congrats on your sober time. Seek and you shall find.

Astro

I was 41 when I got sober, and my experience was that it took many years of recovery before I could say with confidence that I was truly happy. After many years of depression and anxiety, I wanted to have happiness right away but now I realize that it wasn't realistic for me to undo so quickly what I had made myself into.

Recovery is a process, sometimes a long one, and without the difficult experiences I wouldn't appreciate the life I have now. It's also a rollercoaster ride that can be a lot of fun if we sit back and let it happen, and not on our own terms. I am not even close to being the person I was 11 years ago, most days are filled with joy and wonder at a rich life that I was missing when I drank.

Newlight7

I have been to the doctor. I started Wellbutrin 3 weeks ago. I run at least 3 days a week 3-5 miles per run. I've been doing that for a year and a half. Running does help. But not all day. I haven't been completely honest about how depressed I am with my doctor. I'm afraid they'll make me go somewhere inpatient. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist but they didn't have openings until mid December. I just want to feel better.

Dee74

I don;t know of anywhere in the world that will involuntarily admit anyone for depression newlight. I think it's in your best interests to be completely open and honest with your Doc about how bad the problem is.

See what they say. If necessary, you can always decide not to go with their advice or get a second opinion?

D

Bekindalways

Hi Newlight, I second what has been said about telling your doc. With sobriety and work on yourself you may be able to lighten your mood.

I'm a lifelong depressive. Paxil has taken the edge off for me and I'm grateful for this but it hasn't cured it. Over the years I've developed some tools that help. Someday there may be more out there.

Glad to here that you exercise and are doing what you can to get help. In many ways, each one of us has a unique combo of what works and doesn't work.

Astro

Totally agreed. I asked to be admitted for help, and when I was ready to leave nobody held me against my will.

I think it's great that you're getting outdoors and running. I isolated for a long time, laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. After months of that I forced myself out on a long walk, then I started bicycling, hiking, fishing, and camping. Now I almost dislike being indoors

Anna

I also agree that opening up to your dr about your depression would be a good thing to do. It's a scary thought, I'm sure, but reaching out will help. And, good that you have an appointment coming up with a psychiatrist.

Something that helped me, but was very hard to do, was to start a Gratitude Journal. When I first began this, I found it hard to find one or two things to be grateful for. But, when I decided to write down 3 things each day to be grateful for, I realized it made me notice things during the day. I'd think, well that's something I could write in my journal. I hope you feel better.

teatreeoil007

I'm sorry you are feeling so depressed. I know what it's like and understand. The first time I realized I was actually, truly, clinically depressed I didn't know what to do. I was in my forties and sure didn't plan for it or expect it. ("Who me? Depressed? I've always been the chipper one...")

Being completely honest with your Dr. is the only way you are going to get the very best treatment/medication. Also, sometimes they have to try other meds if the one you are on isn't helping. Sometimes they need to increase your dose too. So please tell your Dr. what's really going on and how bad it is. Hang in there....

erfra7

I'm in the same boat right now, for the first time I'm on medication. depression and anxiety is not fun, right now the roller coaster is in an hourly basics. and top with loneliness. I hope I survive . 3 and half years sober and I though that by now it was going to be better. i don't know what else to do or who to talk to sometimes.

erfra7

i know this is not my post , but i don't know what to do . today is bad i didn't go to work lay in all morning .my body feel like tingling all on my upper body.

Astro

erfra, it seems like the best thing to do would be to consult with a doctor? It's important when we're taking our medications to communicate with the prescriber, especially if something doesn't feel right.

erfra7

I spoke with a nurse at mental health clinic and she said that I can break it in half see how well that work the rest of week will try a full pill Friday and Saturday Sunday I don't work but at least I'm working today

teatreeoil007

I am sorry you are feeling so badly, efra and anyone else reading here that feels yuck yuck and I know how it feels. It's awful at times. I remember when I didn't know what to do either....yuck....and I felt stuck!! It went on like that for a while before I finally managed to ask for help and got it. I really tried to tough it out and get through on my own and I just got to a point of desperation....I remember not wanting to get out of bed and face the day. I remember isolating myself and being withdrawn. I remember crying a lot. I hope you start to feel better and keep reaching out here. Prayers and healing hugs sent your way...

FranciscoM

Take special effort to change around the things that cause your depression and anxiety. Learn why you are depressed and anxious and find solutions to these problems. Face things. Conquer. Consider it all one great big journey, after all that is what life is to begin with.

Wolf_22

Remember this: something can be said about perception and authenticity in today's world when people are involved.

That in mind, the good thing here is that you've identified aspects of yourself viable for improvement. That's great! Most people lack that ability (or just refuse their slice of humble pie). Nobody should really blame them because sometimes the truth can hurt when it involves accepting something about ourselves that we would rather avoid confronting. Everyone suffers from this.

You'll have good days and you'll have bad days but at some point, you'll learn the controls. The trick is finding the happy medium between the extremes and in time, learning the signs that tell you which controls to adjust, nobs to turn, switches to click. Just be happy you found the driver's seat. That's more than most ever do.

Hang in there.

erfra7

Wow that very good. thank you for the input. I will take it too, I know it wasn't for me but that being said it works for me too.

Wolf_22

Happy it helps, erfra7.

misslissy1982

I was diagnosed with depression at age 13 and have been on meds all my life. I'm 34. I quickly turned to alcohol to self medicate when I did not feel my meds were working. However it only led to more difficult and more frequent mood swings. I learned that it takes awhile for our brains to start functioning correctly again once the substance is stopped. I am at 6 months sober and I have more good days than bad. I used to have more bad days than good when I was drinking heavily. When I first got sober I felt terrible for months. Talk to others like us and get your doctors on board with everything. I did not tell my doctors or therapists how much I was drinking. I was so ashamed, but once I did I got the help I needed and still need. I try to remember that when I feel depressed that I will have another good day and it will pass. Sometimes easier said than done though. I understand you.