OCD and me

[dotcom]

since ive been on meds, i have been feeling really great. the ocd isnt even in my top ten problems anymore!

however, i realize how much of my life was centered on my habits and rituals. i feel like "what am i going to do now!?". i used to watch the same video over and over or the same music. now i have to keep buying new ones. it is a sucky change, but i can see the improvement.

i hardly think about ocd anymore. and i dont ever plan on going off meds again. talk about a bad decision! geez. i dont mind taking meds for the rest of my life. the improvement im seeing is amazing. not to think about ocd and my habits and rituals is just wonderful!

<thats me happy and free

[shutterbug]

I started to say that I didn't know what OCD stood for, but then realized it's obsessive/compulsive Disorder. Duh. :slap:

And that realization brings me to a question I've been having. Since I was in the 5th grade I have had this sort of obsessive/compulsive thing with scratching. I'm embarrased to talk about it, but I do it constantly and even more so when I'm stressed or upset. It's really more than just scratching. I'm scarring my face and arms from this repeditive mutilation type thing I do. I hate it, but can't make myself not do it. Could this be considered OCD? I've kinda just thought of it kinda in the same way as when people have habits biting their fingernails until there's barely a nail left. Any thoughts?

I am super glad that your back on meds and they are working. I guess I'm just curious about all this.

[dotcom]

Originally Posted by shutterbug

I started to say that I didn't know what OCD stood for, but then realized it's obsessive/compulsive Disorder. Duh. :slap:

And that realization brings me to a question I've been having. Since I was in the 5th grade I have had this sort of obsessive/compulsive thing with scratching. I'm embarrased to talk about it, but I do it constantly and even more so when I'm stressed or upset. It's really more than just scratching. I'm scarring my face and arms from this repeditive mutilation type thing I do. I hate it, but can't make myself not do it. Could this be considered OCD? I've kinda just thought of it kinda in the same way as when people have habits biting their fingernails until there's barely a nail left. Any thoughts?

I am super glad that your back on meds and they are working. I guess I'm just curious about all this.

hi shutterbug,

im sure you know im not qualified to say whether you have ocd or not! haha. id say if you feel concerned, make an appointment with a psychologist and talk with them about it. then if they recommend a psychiatrist, go see one.

best wishes,

dot

[Live]

Dot

Superkalifrigalististicexperaladocious!!!

[shutterbug]

I was just wondering about your opinion. I've had 3 sessions with my phychologist thus far and this issue is kinda near the bottom of my list of problems to deal with, but I will ask him about it eventually. I was just curious. This is stuff is all kinda new to me (well in the last couple of months anyway) and I have my first appointment with my phychiatrist in Oct. (other than the one I saw while in the hospital a few weeks ago).

I guess, I'm a little bit of a hypocondriac about all these mental health issues. I'm kinda in shock about everythink I've learned about myself lately, that I guess I'm wondering what else is there that I'm not aware of.

Hope you are still doing well with everything. Keep us posted on your progress. Will ya?

[dotcom]

Originally Posted by shutterbug

I was just wondering about your opinion. I've had 3 sessions with my phychologist thus far and this issue is kinda near the bottom of my list of problems to deal with, but I will ask him about it eventually. I was just curious. This is stuff is all kinda new to me (well in the last couple of months anyway) and I have my first appointment with my phychiatrist in Oct. (other than the one I saw while in the hospital a few weeks ago).

I guess, I'm a little bit of a hypocondriac about all these mental health issues. I'm kinda in shock about everythink I've learned about myself lately, that I guess I'm wondering what else is there that I'm not aware of.

Hope you are still doing well with everything. Keep us posted on your progress. Will ya?

id encourage you to talk to him/her about it. im the LAST person you want giving my opinion on a mental illness. haha. i can understand the feeling of wondering what im not aware of ... it can be scary once you realize you have a mental illness. because then you think, hey, maybe i have all these other mental illnesses too! for me, before i really got into it with my psychologist, i thought i had every mental illness under the sun. because i was confused about what was going on with me. then we really sorted things out and got to the bottom of things.

i have suffered with a lot of paranoia and feelings of bugs crawling on me. also a lot of aggression. my first uneducated thought was that i was schizo or just plain nuts. i also have the ocd which was already diagnosed. and i would dissociate a lot which hadnt been diagnosed yet. i did not even see the dissociation as a problem because i had lived with it so long it just became the way i lived i guess.

so, with her help and new meds i am feeling better. we decided the paranoia and bugs crawling sensation and some of the aggression was from past meth use. and theres a pill that can help that (very small dose mind you). then from trauma ive got more aggression and paranoia, but its aggravated by the meth use. weird, but it explains a lot. dissociation, i hadnt even thought about. i just though i was REALLY weird and crazy. that is from trauma. but now that ive talked about it and got some meds i can see myself noticing my weird behaviors and working through them. when i try to go to a fantasy world i now have a sort of ... i dont know ... mechanism that helps me realize that thats not real. not sure how to explain that. and the ocd i already had diagnosed. and with the meds im on for it i am doing GREAT! of course i still have some odd rituals i go through, but compared to before i can see an improvement.

i understand about how ocd is your least concern. my uneducated opinion is that perhaps your compulsive behavior is a way to relieve your stress over another issue? however, many of my rituals and behaviors from ocd function to relieve stress. although they just cause me more stress because then the obsession kicks in. id say, when you are ready, discuss it with your doctor. dont rush yourself, take it slow. i also have a history of mutilating and some sort of eating disorder weird thing. those things started way back almost before junior high. i think they had something to do with the ocd, but they became behaviors i just have to tackle now.

the way i feel about cutting and an eating disorder is this. it may be linked to an addictive personality, but for some people dealing with these issues the same as an addiction to drugs and alcohol does not work. you HAVE to eat food, and sometimes you cannot avoid getting a cut or a scratch. there are many little coping mechanisms ive found to deal with these things. dont get me wrong, these two things are issues i really struggle with still. for every little problem i believe there is a unique way to tackle it. especially if you are mentally ill like me. it takes a lot of creativity, patience, and listening to whats right for YOU. not a miracle fix that someone tells you will work.

people have told me that i shouldnt take meds, well, i self destruct if im not on meds. i use a bunch of different things to keep myself well and theres nothing wrong with that. when i start feeling like a hypochondriac i just try to rationalize my feelings and then talk to my doctor about it. and sometimes what im feeling is relative to my illnesses!

hang in there shutterbug! hope ive said something that has helped!

hugs,

dot

[shutterbug]

Thanks dot, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk about your story with me. It helps a lot. Thanks again. You sound like you have things pretty much figured out in how to deal with everything. I know it will take time for me. I'm just impatient and tend to load myself up with trying to fix or understand everything at once. I know I have to be more patient with myself. Thanks again.

Jenna

[dotcom]

hey jenna! dont be fooled ... i have nothing figured out! i can talk about it and i sound to myself like i have it figured out, but when it comes to just dealing its not too easy. patience is a virtue they say ... i need more of it too! im glad something i said helped you. hang in there!

hugs,

dot

[Kit]

Dot, I'm really glad you are feeling better. OCD is a truely torturous disorder. I wouldn't even consider getting off the meds. You deserve a HUGE round of applause for being able to root out the problem and work with your doctor. Good luck with finding ways to enjoy (and cope) with your new life.

Shutterbug, I really don't think your scratching is OCD. Of course, I'm not an MD, and it does sound like a BIG coping kind of behavior and where you say it is a big part of your life, maybe I'm wrong - but definately tell your doctor. OCD typically presents itself as ritualistic behavior (compulsions such as hand washing, repetitive tasks, doing things in even numbers, repeating phrases, checking and rechecking things over and over etc.) AS WELL AS, having intrusive thoughts that don't leave and are very disturbing. OCD is one disorder that can also respond well to therapy. The person suffering from OCD can actually reverse the symptoms by following a prescribed set of responses to the OCD symptoms. Research has shown that a great deal of success can be gained by therapy, which of course may be a life long commitment.
My source is my daughter who is 17 and was diagnosed at the age of 6. She has been able to control her OCD with therapy, but she also was "caught " at a very young age. Adults who have been diagnosed are, for the most part, people who have been suffering since they were children as well. Therefore, medications may be much more helpful because their OCD is far more advanced and a huge part of the sufferers personality.
As you can see, I have spent a lot of time learning about OCD. That is the only reason I feel I can offer any thoughts on it. Good luck!
Love and light, Kit


namaste

[shutterbug]

Wow Kit...that really did help me a lot - thanks

I kinda realized this...that my scratching, although it feels like an obsessive compulsive behavior, is nothing like the real deal of OCD.

Kinda like when someone has a bad day and they tell me they know what it's like to be depressed...and I'm thinking (or often telling them) that they really have no clue because it's far more than just being sad every once in a while.

Do you think I'm kinda on track here? I'm sorry to hear about your daughter, but really happy that she got an early diagnosis. I think there is so much to be said for that. I think I'm going to try and find a way to convince some doctors some where to start advocating early diagnosis of mental illness.

Dot - Hope you are still doing well. It's been several days since I was on here last so I'm doing a little catching up while I'm at my sisters. Keep us posted on your awsome progress!

take care all

[splendra]

Just yesterday I was hanging out doing some recording with a guy that I play music with and he started talking about his battle with ocd. He said he got this bool titled:

"STOP OBSESSING" by Edna Foa he also got on meds and saw a psycollgist for about 6 weeks he said he did the exercizes in the book and stayed on the med for one year and has been obsession free now for 4 years. He said the book taught him that obsession was about fear and that he feared demons. He said he had to embrace his fear just bear hug it and create the worst case scenario with his fear and train his mind to see that what he was fearing was something he was creating in his mind and that a+b did not = what ever he thought would happen.... He said the med helped his mind to get quite and that he made a tape of his own voice of the worst case scenario and listened to it everyday and did all the lessons in the book.....

This friend is a very good, well respected musician years ago we used to play together and get very drunk and high on all kinds of drugs too, now we are playing some of the coolest gospel jazz stuff in a church on Sundays together. Musiscally he completely blows my mind and now he has blown my mind with talking about how he got over ocd!!! Hope this helps someone!!!!