Jane Paulie interview....

[shutterbug]

Did anyone see the MSNBC special this week on Jane Paulie?

[shutterbug]

I guess no one else saw it. I taped it. It was a one hour special about her bipolar disorder. I was just wondering what others thought.

I know there are a few bipolars out there on this site and I thank you very much for ALL your responses and input, but I sure feel lonely. I wish there were more people who understood what I'm going through right now. I'm crying (no...I'm screaming) out for help for the first real time ever in my life and only a few of you are hearing my voice.

Feeling very hopeless.........but noone's listening so ..oh well, thus is my life.

[wastedtime4me]

{{{{{{{{{{shutterbug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
im listening...i will keep you in my prayers...

[51anna]

I saw it Shutterbug and I thought it was fabulous.

She was so articulate, explained herself so well and how she had to come to terms with the fact that she wasn't who everybody thought she was.

It was so good to see her speaking out and making mental illness something that people can learn more about and fear less.

Love, Anna

[MootPoint]

Oh I wish I'd seen it..... I live with a person with Bipolar! I really could have benifited by learning more!

[reikihelps]

I saw it and liked it. She's doing so much to remove the stigma.
I was interested in her assessment that there was a connection between steroids and her bp.
Reikihelps

[brookelea]

I didn't respond to your post originally because I didnt see it. I really wished I had!! Anyone wanna send me a copy of the tape???

shutterbug, Im sorry to hear you are feeling alone. I have been poking around the mental health section but haven't had the mental focus to really post anything worthwhile. When I have had any focus, I have spent it on my posts in regards to my situation with my addict husband.

I guess part of that is due to my bi-polar lack of focus, and partly to my own wallowing at the moment. But I will try to keep up a bit on the mental health aspect of posting. I am very familiar with alot of things in that regard so may be of some help, I hope.

Brooke

[paperairplanes]

Shutterbug,

I didn't see it, but my sister clipped out an article about it and gave it to me. I REALLY want to see it. Maybe there is a link out there to the text.

I just registered a minute ago. I am registered on a few bipolar sites, but I desperately want to connect with others with both bipolar disorder and chemical dependency. I was first diagnosed two and a half years ago after a disastrous hypomanic episode which culminated with me losing my job. I haven't worked since and am trying to rebuild my life. I smoked tons of pot to keep from jumping out of my skin before I was diagnosed, and put on Lithium and Celexa (which I was already taking and which may have helped trigger the hypomania), then Lamictal/Wellbutrin/Celexa. I'm still smoking pot, usually several times a day. I lie about it to my psych.

Sorry if I've rambled and maybe I should have started a new thread. I'm a newbie.

[51anna]

If anyone is interested she has a new book out about her experiences with bipolar disorder. It's called "Skywriting: A Life Out of the Blue".

Anna

[Sandy Marie]

Hi Shutterbug,
My husband saw Jane Paulie's interview. He said she did a wonderful job of presenting bipolar disorder. I'm sorry you have this disorder. My nephew has it and it has been a devastating experience for him and his family. He tries new therapies regularly, goes for counseling, but nothing seems to work for him. I wondered if you could offer any advice for him as far as therapy.
Thank you Shutterbug. It hurts to know that others are suffering so much from bipolar disorder.
Prayers, Sandy

[Wolfstarr]

((((((((((((Shutterbug))))))))))))

My heart goes out to you! My daughter is bipolar and she is struggling so. I care and wish I could have seen the Jane Pauley interview...I heard it was great.
Please know you are not alone...
Love and peace to you,
~*Wolfstarr*~

[shutterbug]

Thank you all for your responses. I haven't been near a computer lately (since I'm not working and since I'm not staying at my sisters right now). I really wish I had a computer at home because so few people know what I'm dealing with right now like you guys do and I need the comfort of that constant reminder from logging into this forum. I am at my dads now and useing his computer before I go home. Today was the first time in a week I've gotten out of the house because I had to mail a package of photos off for this children's benefit thing that I began several months ago. Just typing is tiresome and draining so I don't know if I will be able to repond to as many posts as I would like.

Thank you wolfstar...the Jane Paulie interview aired two days after I got out of the hospital and it felt like God had interviened for it to air at a time when I really needed to see that (I hope that's not egotistical because I know there were probably many more than myself and I am just thankful for it). See I am a print journalist and while some of my bosses and co-workers know what is going on...they don't really understand (especially when they see me in a good mood and energetic). And I have never been one to hide anything about who I am, but so many people have told me to be careful of who I tell that I am bipolar because there is a stigma attached to it. So I'm still hesitant (bad speller here) about what I keep thinking that I must do. See I am also on staff for a local women's magazine and am seriously thinking about sharing my experience through that media so that others may understand and even more so...so that other bipolars or anyone with a mental illness may not feel so isolated and alone.

This is my home town and my name is known by everyone who reads the paper...so it's a scary thing to share my story. I can think of the positives it might bring, but the negatives are what I'm not too sure about.

Sandy, I have just started on medications and counseling (where I got side tracked onto my co-dependency issues), so I don't have any advice to offer accept that your nephew needs all the prayer and support he can get and if he is still fairly young that can be a blessing. Bipolar is a progressive illness if not treated so it is very important that he stay on his meds. I was lucky enough to figure all this out at 28 years old so hopefully my future will be better because I can work on treatment instead of it just getting worse as in my father's case. My father has not been diagnosed officially by a pychiatrist, but as the saying goes "It takes one to know one" and my father is in bad shape from going untreated for so many years. I have also read 3 things that may help...

1) 85 percent of bipolars also have substance abuse issues so if your nephew doesn't have dependencies now it is something he and his family need to be aware of to avoid it if at all possible (My father is an alcoholic).
2) Just as alcoholism is a family disease, so is bipolar. I would bet that at least one (if not more) of your nephews relatives is also bipolar.
3) The suicide rate for bipolars is said to be 1 out of every 5. That is a HUGE suicide rate! So this should also be kept in mind. It is imparative that every bipolar have someone they feel completely comfortable in talking to if they are having suicidal thoughts. Personally, I find comfort in talking to other bipolars since they know first hand how I am feeling.

So my advice would really be to learn as much as you can about the disorder and pass that information along to any family members that might benefit from that knowledge.

Paperairplanes, Welcome to the forum, I hope you find it as helpful as I have. In the Best of Sober Recovery forum there is a link to the Merical Mind (sp?) which is a Web site devoted to bipolar disorder. I found it very helpful. I'm curious about the other bp chats/forums you mentioned. Could you please private message me and give me the addresses for them. I would really appreciate it.

Brook, your post rings so VERY true. I am currently on Depakote, Effexor and Visteril (hydroxyzine). I am so very weak, physically as well as mentally. I shake a lot and even have trouble standing because my legs are so weak. My physician and counselor both advised me to start walking again to help with the depression. I know exercise works to help with this deep depression, but how do I make myself excercise when it feels I'm like climbing mount everest just to change my clothes or walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water?? I'm just so very tired all the time and sleep most of the day and night.

I'm just such an impatient person sometimes. I have so many goals to see to and accomplish that being this useless to myself feels almost too terrible to stand.

Thanks again for everyone's responses and if you could think of me in your prayers I will be very thankful.

[shutterbug]

I guess I was able to write more than I thought. Sometimes my mind just gets going and my fingers won't stop typing LOL.

[paperairplanes]

Hi Shutterbug,

Thanks so much for your welcome! I just wrote you a longer note, but lost it by going back. Here are some resources:

www.walkers.org (online support group)
http://bipolarfriends.healthyplace2.com/index.html (online support group)
http://www.bipolarhappens.com/ (related to site above)
http://bipolar.about.com/library/weekly/aa990930.htm
http://www.thewindsofchange.org/ (I just found this, so no opinion)

Hope you are feeling at least a little better today. Personally, I've been sitting in my pajamas, unwashed, online, for about 5 hours! It's 1:50 here. I send you a big hug (if it was in person, I'd worry about my BO)!

Also, where do I go here to add quotes/pics?

Love,
paperairplanes

[paperairplanes]

I started out sending my reply as private but screwed it up. Apologies.
paperairplanes

[paperairplanes]

"where do I go here to add quotes/pics?"

never mind, I found it.

[shutterbug]

I'm SOOOO glad you have decided to join us! REALLY happy to see you came back. Sorry you had trouble with the pics and stuff. It took me a while to figure out too. I don't have much time now, but if you are still having ANY trouble or questions feel free to ask. If I don't know the answer...someone else probably does.

Talk to ya later. I'm feeling better today.

[KelKel]

Hi Shutterbug.
I read your posts and I feel so helpless.
I have only been aware of and treating my pi-polar for less that two years.
The first year was really the worst year of my life, I was so medicated and strung out on different meds, always having them changed... I would shake, sweat, have anxiety attacks, be frozen in fear and not leave my bed for days.
My doctors and I concluded that because I smoked weed in my 20's, not alot just a little in the morning, that kept my bi-polar from going haywire.
I definately see the correlation. I have been afraid to even admit that here.

I just never know what to say or how to comfort you. I will try harder to open up and share with you about this scary affliction.
Yes it runs in my family as well....

[shutterbug]

Oh Kel, Thank you dear sweet girl. I don't want you to feel badly or feel helpless. Just knowing you are here and listening and know what it is like....helps me so very much. It would be awsome if you ever felt you could open up to share your experience, but don't let it bother you in anyway if you can't or just are not ready to. I completely understand. Your recovery should be your first and formost priority! And I don't expect anything else!

I know there is some kind of stigma about mental illness and I am slowly coming to terms with that fact. I wish this site was known to everyone who suffers from bipolar or any mental illness because it is so very important for everyone of us to know that we really are NOT alone and to help each other through the dark times! I am blessed to have each of you in my life and that's more than I could ever have asked for!

God Bless,
Jenna

P.S. I use these forums not only to let things out, but to also tell others about the things I have never told anyone in my life (such as suicidal thoughts). The neat thing I have discovered is that once I have put it out here in print...it becomes so very easy to tell those who really need to know like my family and my doctors. And it's a lot less scarier on here because no one knows who I am so I can be completely honest with myself and all of you! It's very freeing.

[walteria]

Shutterbug....

I am a radio journalist and I know what you mean! Like I've said, I feel like I have had to stay underground because of this problem. Though it has been suspected that I may be bi-polar because my sister is bi-polar, and I've been treated for bi-polar. Maybe instead of your own story maybe interview someone who has the disorder and then you can put the story to print. You can use your thoughts to describe the story and all and you can get your story out there and yet not reveal yourself if you didn't have to. I think a series of articles on Bi-Polar disorder would be a great thing for you to do. If I were employed right now as a newsman that is exactly what I will do as soon as I am able to find a news reporter's job again. Being unemployed is the worst thing for me and it is worse than dealing with depression. If I would list my disability I know I will not get a job so I have to continue to hide this problem and deal with it on my own as I have for the last 20 years. Good Luck!

[wraybear]

i have an 18 year old that was diagnosed a little over two years ago. She has been suicidal twice, but not since she has been on meds that I know of anyway. She is also ADHD. The doctors have done well getting her on the right meds. She takes Nuerontin and Celexa. She also takes her ADHD meds. The key is to TAKE THE MEDS. No matter how you feel, take the meds. Even when you are doing well, feeling good, TAKE THE MEDS!!! I can't understand from your point, but I can understand from a mother's point, seeing this young beautiful smart funny daughter be SOOOO depressed. I must reiterate... TAKE THE MEDS!!! And, you need to make it your responsibility, don't try to make someone else the "keeper" of your meds, because then they become "responsible" for your disease in their eyes and your eyes. Unless of course a doctor has stated you should not have your meds for obvious reasons. TAKE THE MEDS! Good luck and TAKE THE MEDS!

[shutterbug]

Originally Posted by KelKel

Hi Shutterbug.
The first year was really the worst year of my life, I was so medicated and strung out on different meds, always having them changed... I would shake, sweat, have anxiety attacks, be frozen in fear and not leave my bed for days.

My doctors and I concluded that because I smoked weed in my 20's, not alot just a little in the morning, that kept my bi-polar from going haywire.
I definately see the correlation. I have been afraid to even admit that here.

I just never know what to say or how to comfort you. I will try harder to open up and share with you about this scary affliction.
Yes it runs in my family as well....

KelKel,
I am hoping that this first year of diagnosis WILL be the worst I ever have b/c of the suicidal thoughts and everything. I too have been going through the sweating and shaking and anxiety/panic attacks in the last month. I've never had to deal with such things and I've felt totally looney from the shaking and panic attacks, but things are getting better.

It's interesting that you mentioned the weed. Lately, I've been wondering if my ex is bipolar. He is 29 and has smoked weed since he was 12. Since we split up a year ago he has started into much more devistating drug use and I'm worried. He has also been going through some insomnia for days at a time and I'm thinking that maybe from being manic (or maybe he's been using crank - I'll have to ask him that). Any information you could share about the corrilation you see with the weed would be appriciated.

Also, I'm very glad you are opening up about your illness here. This is a difficult disease and we can all learn from each other and support each other. Also I think it helps each of us to open up to people about our illness because then we can take better stock of it and then work on recovery.

Thanks for your kindness,
Hugs,
Jenna