Anyone familiar with being dx'd Borderline?

[brookelea]

I was originally diagnosed as Bi-Polar. Which in my mind really didn't fit the bill at first. Then I was told I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Severe Depression. Next I was told that I had Bi-Polar Type 2 with GAD. And in my last pysch evail I was dx'd with both of the latter and mild PTSD.

Last year someone I talked to in an online support room was talking about how her daughter was dx'd with Borderline Personality Disorder, so I was asking what that was. She started naming off characteristics from a book she had been given the recommendation to read so she could understand better what her daughter was going through, and it seemed that 75% of the list fit me. So I went out and got the book. "I Love You, Don't Hate Me" (I don't have the author's name at the moment) But for those familiar with BPD they should be very aware of this book.

For the first time in my life, while reading the pages of that book, everything became clear to me. The past 28 years had been explained to a T. Yet now that I have sought therapy again, NO one has been willing to even acknowledge the fact that I have even spoken the words "borderline personality disorder". They just act like they didn't hear it and go on with their ramblings. What is up with that??? I had read another book called "Lost in the mirror" and the author of it stated that alot of therapists didn't want to tell patients this was a possible diagnosis of their problems.

I feel if I could find someone to work on this specific issue with me, I could actually get somewhere with my life. I have tried therapy dealing with stress, depression, etc. It gets no where. I feel maybe this is why.

Is anyone familiar with this at all? Any advice? Support?

Thanks!

Brooke

[MootPoint]

I think you're referring to "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me". Good book, if a bit dated.

Yet now that I have sought therapy again, NO one has been willing to even acknowledge the fact that I have even spoken the words "borderline personality disorder". They just act like they didn't hear it and go on with their ramblings.

Most docs and therapists are hesitant to give someone the label of BPD because it is often a stigmata in the mental health field. I'm diagnosed with BPD as my Axis II. I have been turned down by both pdocs and especially therapists because of it. It's not a diagnosis I would rush into. Have you tried insisting that your T discuss it with you?.

BPD patients are considered to be hard to work with...... argumentative and resistant to treatment. Personally, I have seen these traits in ppl with all diagnoses, not just BPD. And, I've seen BPD patients, like myself, who really want to get better and are willing to work for it.

I feel if I could find someone to work on this specific issue with me, I could actually get somewhere with my life

Could be. BPD encompasses so much of one'e personality that it takes a really good therapist to deal with it.

Borderlines have a high incidence of substance abuse too.

I am familiar with it (for obvious reasons). I can give you limited advice and lots of support. Others will be by in a bit to reply to you

Welcome to SR, brooke.

[KelKel]

Hi Bookelea...
I am diagnosed bi-polar,bpd,ptsd,add....
As far as the BPD goes, My first psychiatrist did say that it is hard to pinpoint and treat... he did sat therapy was the best form of treatment.
Mootpoint pretty much hit the nail on the head. i wish I could tell you more but I have been concentrating on my addiction (alcohol) and the bi-polar.

But I did some EMDR with a threapist and found it very helpful.
You might look into it...here is a website, there are many...

http://www.emdr.com/frmain01.htm

[brookelea]

Thank you both for your posts. I have heard and read that it is something that will cause problems for me in seeking therapy if it is in my diagnosis. That makes me very upset though, like no one is willing to deal with it. Where do those of us who feel it is a big part of our lives go to seek help?

In my recent research, I have discovered that Marsha Linehan, who has pioneered most of the education and treatment models for BPD is very near me at the University of Washington. I left a message at their offices about qualifying for therapy with them yesterday. I hope I receive a call back and will let you know how it goes if I do.

[KelKel]

Please do keep us posted

[shutterbug]

I wish I could be of help here, but I'm bipolar and like KelKel am concentrating on that (and my Anon/co-dependency issues, hehehehee. Opposite side there. Get it? Do ya get it. Huh, huh?? :tounge-in ). And I don't know all the acronymns yet so ya'll might as well be talking Japanese or something.

I have jumped into the sea of pibolar discovery the last two weeks and coming to terms with my second major depressive episode.

God luck in your search and recovery. Keep us posted.

God Bless,
Jenna

[brookelea]

Jenna, Thank you for your post even if you aren't familiar with my problem. I am bi-polar also and I am trying to accept that part of myself as well right now.

An update though - I got a call today from the clinic at UW, they are only accepting patients for certain studies they are working on like heroin addiction, suicidal behaviors and binge/purging. None that I fit the bill for, not that I'm complaining about that, but not something I qualify to get in the door with them on. But she did refer me to other clinics in the area that do DBT therapy. That was the main part of my goal, so it worked out ok. I just have to wait til after the holiday weekend to try to find one that will accept me and my insurance.

[shutterbug]

good luck with the insurance thing. Hopefully you will be luckier than I. That's what I dealt with for the last 2 days.

I don't have a pychiatrist, pychologist or theropist of any kind just my regular doctor AND I've about had it. There is a mental health facility in my town, but because I have insurance, and the wrong kind I might add, then they won't see me.

And even though I'm willing to travel an hour or so away, I haven't been able to get a pychiatrist to take me - unless I want to want until next month or November.

I forgot, I was lucky to get an appointment with a pychologist for the 13th in my town, but why should I bother seeing a pycologist when a psychiatrist can do the same AND prescribe meds??? It's cheaper and more convienient (and I would think it better too) to have 1 person listening to you AND prescribing you.

Anyway, I'll climb down from my pity hill now ( I do that a lot- sorry). So back to you....I just hope that everything works out. Sometimes it just seems like docs diagnosis us and then send us out the door without any instructions. I'm like you- they should want to help us!

[shutterbug]

forgot to tell you "Welcome" to SR!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you stick around!

[brookelea]

Shutterbug - I too have struggled for the past 3 years with insurance problems. So I am hoping this time it won't be such a hassle as it has in the past.

I can say a few things in relation to your situation though. I was once told by an employer provided phone support worker that in the US it is rarely common to be able to get a first appointment with a psychiatrist in less than 4-6 weeks. She said that the number of those choosing that profession just didn't keep up with the demand for it. This is an unfortunate plight in the mental health community and why I think many primary care providers have been picking up the slack in this area and passing out meds like candy to anyone that has any relative signs of depression, etc.

As for the comparison between a psychologist and a psychiatrist, I have only known psychiatrists to ask 20 questions, make a diagnosis and then prescribe a treatment via meds. Never was any "talking" about anything. Maybe that is only how they are here in my area, but has been my understanding of what both professions do. Therapy does not occur with your psychiatrist, they manage your meds....counselors/psychologists help you work through life problems.

I hope that you are able to work through the system and find the right fit that you need. My thoughts are with you on that.

Brooke

[KelKel]

Brooke
You hit the nail directly on the head with your view of psychiatrist's.
I am now on my fourth one and he is not covered by my insurance, so he cuts me a break.
He also is in to homeopathic and balancing the body with nutritional supplements.
He takes hair samples and gets them analyzed to find out what your body is deficient in.
I have been pleased with the results and am currently waiting for the results of my latest sample.
I live over 2 hours away and we do mostly phone consulations and some f2f visits.
He totally believes that being in therapy and/or having a support group is key in treatment.
Because of his insistence I found this place and slowly but surely after almost 2 years of seclusion and being like a zombie I am getting better.

Our healthcare system really sucks the big one... I get very frustrated and tired of all the bull.

We are in this together and I am here for ya'll

[shutterbug]

URGGggggggggg...just wanted to voice some more frustrations with doctors and insurance and the health care system in general!!!!!!!!

To stay on short term disability with my employer I have to provide MORE paperwork from a doc and all within the next 10 days, then they want me to continue doing this every 15 days with new assesments about how I'm doing.

I'm F***ing sick and I'm severly depressed. How do they think I'm doing? I mean come on, this typing is the most activity I've done all week and I haven't had the energy or care to brush my teeth in 2 weeks (gross, I know, but I'm living alone now so no one has to smell my breath), but yet they expect me to be able to handle paperwork. And how do they expect me to get this paperwork back to them when my regular doctor knows nothing about what I'm going through and is just following suit and filling the prescriptions given to me by the phyciatrist while I was in the hospital. I saw a phycologist for the first time Monday, but it seems like the only doctor who could really assess my readiness or non-readiness to return to work is a phyciatrist, but still no luck in getting an appointment!!!

Just very frustrating. It seems like the system is just not set up to help those who need help the most. Even with freak'n insurance!!! That's the part that gets me. Is that I could have already seen a pychiatrist if I didn't have insurance - go figure!!!! :Flush:


So needless to say, I know the frustrations you are going through and it sucks big doo doo.

[shutterbug]

They are all big doody heads. :P