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So depressed I can't stand being inside my own head!



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So depressed I can't stand being inside my own head!

Old 02-14-2015, 06:54 PM
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So depressed I can't stand being inside my own head!

I have been fortunate to not have had to deal with this level of depression in a long time. Going on a solid week now. Slept all day Friday. haven't done that in a long time.

Problem is...I've changed a lot since my last bad depression. I now know better than to let my emotions go out into the world for people to see. Why? Because very few give a damn, & those who do can't really do anything to help. So, being a negative Nancy only seems to push people further away. & I dont want to make things worse for myself this time around by pushing people away.

That said, it's like I'm itching to scream & cry out for any kind of warmth & attention. Wth? It's not like I don't have people in my life who love me & some who would even do anything I asked, because I rarely ask for anything. But knowing that seems to do nothing to alleviate anything.

I understand being depressed, but why do I feel such an overwhelming urge to talk about it, post to social media, text people who I wish I meant more to, etc.???
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Old 02-14-2015, 07:02 PM
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Because no one is an island and because everyone, at some time, craves a human connection - maybe even some help? and it's easier to do it here than it is in person ?

I'm sure you do have people who love you and would help if you let them - it's not a weakness, btw, or a burden

If that's simply not something you're going to do right now, that's ok - what about seeing your Dr, or a therapist if you have one?

noone should have to live with depression tears - you deserve better

D
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Old 02-17-2015, 10:59 PM
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I can relate to what you're saying, as I have struggled with depression on and off for most of my life. I think what you describe is one of the hardest things about depression. I wanted help and love so much, I felt like I was screaming for it. But at the same time, I couldn't bear to be around people or talk to anyone. It was like my screams just ricocheted back into me, making my pain even worse.

Talking about it helps. When I couldn't talk to someone in person, I wrote and posted on sites like this. I still have trouble talking to people I love, but I've been able to open up a bit to a therapist. Maybe that would be an option for you? There's a freedom and anonymity to being online, and therapy sort of gives that same freedom but with a personal connection that makes it feel more real.

I wish there was something I could say to make you magically feel better, but there isn't. I hope you find a way to get some help and some relief.
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Old 02-17-2015, 11:45 PM
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Talking about it is the healthist thing you can do. I agree with Gal about the safety and anonymity of the internet. People here are very understanding and helpful. Talk away if you want to. Remember everybody here has issues. Haha. That's why we're here.
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Old 02-18-2015, 01:35 AM
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Hi tears.
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Old 02-26-2015, 10:28 PM
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I did therapy for years. Honesty can't say it did much good for me personally, but I guess I helped me not feel so alone at the time.
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Old 02-27-2015, 12:45 AM
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Hi Tears.

I suffer from seasonal affective disorder and am down at the moment. I'm waiting for spring which will drive me hard the other way.
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