dsmaxis10

I had four years of sobriety once I thought if I stayed sober and spirituality and GOD would heal me of schizo. Well it did not heal me of it I went to 10 mental hospitals why I was sober each time for quitting my medication after I went to my 14th mental hospital in my life I was mad at GOD and I drank. So I went threw psychosis several times why I was sober and did not drink but a year and a half ago I drank I had 4.5 months one time since then months days weeks the rest of the time. I got seven days sober now but I just get some time then relapse I need to break that cycle. I'm not saying all schizos have to take medication the rest of there life but for me I have to cuz everytime I quit it I go into psychosis which lasts months its horrible shackled to stretchers arrested by cops psychwards fist fighting with staff its horrible I don't want to go threw that again so I'm gonna take my medication.

Soberpotamus

I'm sorry you're dealing with schizophrenia on top of alcoholism, dsmaxis. I had an uncle who was schizophrenic... and I have to say, he was probably my favorite uncle to chat with... highly intelligent, and just very different

Taking your medication is going to give you the best chances at life, from what I understand.

Soberwolf

You sound so brave I too have suffered mental illness never been diagnosed but know my thinking hasn't been right at times

The point of this message is you give me so much hope your inner strength is undeniable really hope it all works out for you keep posting as that post was incredible

Very moving real and honest good luck you can do it

dsmaxis10

Day 1 sober again I just can't stop can't believe I had 4 years alcohol and drug free. I wasn't to bad off until I started working with my brother who's an alcoholic and drug attack. I started snorting adderal with him and drank heavily. I don't have no energy cause of my meds and adderall gave me energyfor a while then it quit working the withdrawl was horrible I no longer am gonna help my brother remodel his new house. I still go to AA the four years I was sober I made all my amends finacial and personal. I drank cause I was mad at GOD and still pissed at HIM life so hard. I'm on disability for the schizo I was a journey men carpenter I would like to go back to work but I never know when I'm gonna get sick need disability cause I need insurance meds psych and psychologist visits would bankrupt me. I got two monsters to deal with. I got sick earlier this week it was very scary so I took my prolixon shot early. Which made it stop so the meds work but I get so tired from them I have lost forty pounds in a year and a half I have lost and gained lost and gained over 200 pounds in six years down to 208 want to lose or get down to 180 but I haven't been working out. I aslo have major depression and bi-polar disorder which makes it even tuffer. Actually had sex for the first time in five and a half years which felt so good to touch and feel and hold a women I wish I could be with she would but i have no way to support here I make 19000$ on disability made 50000-70000$ as a union carpenter wish I was still able to do that. I HAVE NOT GOTTEN BETTER i have been in 15 mental hospitals mostly due to me not taking medication so I surrender that I have to take it the rest of my life.

Gilmer

Sorry, Dsmaxis. I'm glad you haven't gone of the rails. Four years of sobriety is a good, long time. You can get right back on track. You know what you have to do: take your medicine.

I will continue to pray.

dox

Thanks for the posts, dsmaxis10.
Although I have no experience of schizophrenia, You remind me of me.

Sometimes mental illness can be more difficult to recover from than alcoholism.
When I decided to quit drinking, not having a drink was half the battle; AA was the other half.
But, other mental illnesses can be no less cunning, baffling and powerful.
I was diagnosed with manic-depression 35 years ago.
I was put on medication.
2 times I stopped taking my medication, without a doctor's guidance.
Both times I wound up back on a locked ward in a mental hospital.
That was a long time ago. I learned my lesson about psych meds.
Recently I wanted to come off of my meds again.
This time, I consulted a psychiatrist.
He said, "No."
I am able, now, to accept that.
I don't need any more reminding.

AA reminds me that I cannot drink.
So far, I haven't had to test that and find out the hard way about relapsing on alcohol.
I'll keep going to meetings.
And visiting SR when I can't get to a meeting; like now.

I, too, will say a prayer.
Take care.

dsmaxis10

Thanks everybody if I drink again my parents are gonna send me to a homeless shelter all of a sudden I have an honest desire to stop drinking.

dsmaxis10

Well I have 18 days now feeling good sure don't want to go to the homeless shelter.

biminiblue

Well done! I'm happy to hear you're staying away from alcohol.