Self Sabotage - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

oziniik · 07-19-2004, 04:18 PM

Hi, i'm niikki and i was wondering if there are any survivors out there who self sabotage and self destruct the minute life is running smooth and good things are coming their way.
I tend to go really well then bang when i know that something good is coming my way i go awall and do things i never dream of doing normally : ie- i get back on the drugs and do what ever i have to ,to make sure i get those drugs no matter who i hurt.... needless to say i do this due to having every thing that i loved taken from me when i was a child right through to my adult life, now other people don't take from me any more , i take from myself and i'm sick of doing this obsessive compulsory ritual to myself ...
is there anyone out there who suffers the same fate as i do ?

please let me know...

peace to you all...

oziniik · 07-19-2004, 04:22 PM

[QUOTE=oziniik]Hi, i'm niikki and i was wondering if there are any survivors out there who self sabotage and self destruct the minute life is running smooth and good things are coming their way.
I tend to go really well then bang when i know that something good is coming my way i go awall and do things i never dream of doing normally : ie- i get back on the drugs and do what ever i have to ,to make sure i get those drugs no matter who i hurt.... needless to say i do this due to having every thing that i loved taken from me when i was a child right through to my adult life, now other people don't take from me any more , i take from myself and i'm sick of doing this obsessive compulsory ritual to myself ...
is there anyone out there who suffers the same fate as i do ?

please let me know...

peace to you all...
[survivors are the most brilliant people i know]

Rowan · 07-19-2004, 09:21 PM

Hi Oziniik

My name is Rowan and I'm an alcoholic. I've also suffered from depression for years. Yes I can identify with the sabotage. I never felt I was worth the good things that were happening to me; so I made sure I went out and used or did something equally destructive. It has taken nearly 3 years in AA, medication, and regular sessions with an addictions counsellor to begin to recognize the pattern and stop it before it spirals out of control.
Are you in recovery right now? I urge you to talk to someone about your feelings and behaviour; I'm no doctor I can only share my own experience.
I believe every human being has worth and should be treated as such. That includes ourselves; we are worthy.
I wish you well.

Love Rowan

davo · 07-23-2004, 01:37 AM

hi oziniik, from a fellow ozi!!
truly loving yourself seems to be a tough job, ay?
i can be my own worst enemy too....

07-19-2004, 04:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
oziniik Paused Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: newcastle new south wales Posts: 2	Self Sabotage Hi, i'm niikki and i was wondering if there are any survivors out there who self sabotage and self destruct the minute life is running smooth and good things are coming their way. I tend to go really well then bang when i know that something good is coming my way i go awall and do things i never dream of doing normally : ie- i get back on the drugs and do what ever i have to ,to make sure i get those drugs no matter who i hurt.... needless to say i do this due to having every thing that i loved taken from me when i was a child right through to my adult life, now other people don't take from me any more , i take from myself and i'm sick of doing this obsessive compulsory ritual to myself ... is there anyone out there who suffers the same fate as i do ? please let me know... peace to you all...

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07-19-2004, 04:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
oziniik Paused Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: newcastle new south wales Posts: 2	[QUOTE=oziniik]Hi, i'm niikki and i was wondering if there are any survivors out there who self sabotage and self destruct the minute life is running smooth and good things are coming their way. I tend to go really well then bang when i know that something good is coming my way i go awall and do things i never dream of doing normally : ie- i get back on the drugs and do what ever i have to ,to make sure i get those drugs no matter who i hurt.... needless to say i do this due to having every thing that i loved taken from me when i was a child right through to my adult life, now other people don't take from me any more , i take from myself and i'm sick of doing this obsessive compulsory ritual to myself ... is there anyone out there who suffers the same fate as i do ? please let me know... peace to you all... [survivors are the most brilliant people i know]

07-19-2004, 09:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rowan Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 12,138	Hi Oziniik My name is Rowan and I'm an alcoholic. I've also suffered from depression for years. Yes I can identify with the sabotage. I never felt I was worth the good things that were happening to me; so I made sure I went out and used or did something equally destructive. It has taken nearly 3 years in AA, medication, and regular sessions with an addictions counsellor to begin to recognize the pattern and stop it before it spirals out of control. Are you in recovery right now? I urge you to talk to someone about your feelings and behaviour; I'm no doctor I can only share my own experience. I believe every human being has worth and should be treated as such. That includes ourselves; we are worthy. I wish you well. Love Rowan

07-23-2004, 01:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
davo Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: australia Posts: 5	hi oziniik, from a fellow ozi!! truly loving yourself seems to be a tough job, ay? i can be my own worst enemy too....

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