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07-13-2004, 12:24 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,669
| More dysfunction to the mix........
Man....I really try and not judge, for past or present character defects of people I meet. I believe all deserve repect and second chances...but I do have boundaries now that I am in recovery. My brother has been staying with me a few months....went on a drunken binge within the first week here...got kicked out of bars, scared a lady in her back yard by her pool and 2 previous DUI caught up with him..he came up here BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM AND PUT A FENCE POST THROUGH THEIR HOUSE DOOR... He hasn't drank since the last incident and is taking care of his DUI, but lo and behiold he has to pay his crazy girlfriends lawyer becAUSE SHE HAS HIM CONVINCED THE ONLY REASON SHE WAS FACING 2 FELONIES IS BECAUSE HE CALLED 911. he brought her up here for a week..Oh my oh my I am a patient person and very understanding..but I am not a doormat or receptacle for the kind of negativity blame game stunt she pulled. I have never meant someone so viciously jealous..I see a terrible road ahead for my brother.He is choosing it of course but it infuriates me that he thinks he can always run to me..then talk sh** about me again if I set boundaries! He is a good kid, truly he is...but I just cannot tolerate the mind games his 'fiance' is playing..she has left hateful raging messages on my phone...is just loco en la cabeza....takes NO responsibilty for anything..at all. period. I hate to admit it..but I cannot stand her at all..and do not even feel much sympathy..I just want her to go away..she has made statements about bombing the hell out of his exes place..but won't because my nephew lives there..caught her in lies about him...saying my nephew deliberately broke her tv...my brother says no, it was an accident. I have never seen such rage in a person...my brother says she murderd someone..but it was an acccident..and he admits she is a pain in the a**//but says he can change her!! Just bold a** comes and says he will change her..He is an Aries! LOL....everything he says..I am an Aries. I should not be so upset by this..but it breaks my heart what I see coming...her diatribe about my family....hateful crazy things..off the wall.. crazy. They will be back up here by Monday...she went to court today..only gets probation..no jail time..now I know it is wrong..but I was hoping she would get some jail time so maybe my brother would come to his senses. She is trouble with a capitol T and I am very upset he is bringing her all the from TX...up here..LOL where I am enjoying some peace from all the craziness in TX. Now this...I am about to just let it go...I hve no control over thrm...just kinda protective about the 'niche' I am trying to build..the serenity I am experiencing...I do not like drama....I am just upset about this. They plan on getting married...but I really don't see my brother staying sober when she gets up here...last wekend he wasn't even going to go ahnd get her...but she has him convinced he HAS to....she never said one thing she liked or loved or admired about my brother the whole week up here. I f she didn't watch something on tv..by God she turned it!! Yelled and hollered when the pucnic wasn;'t ready one when they came in..I juts about decked her one!! I did.....my brother says he is just nervous about you liking here..well, too late for that. I have two children to protect..I can't just let anyone around them...not when I know they have a serious violent past..and have done nothing to fix it...At ALL/.SHE IS 42, MY BROTHER 10 YRS YOUNGER... Well, thanks for listening to my vent.....there is just something gets under my skin so bad about this one..mmmmmmmm..PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE...PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE........... GRrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rr!!!!!!! 
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~  |
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07-13-2004, 01:30 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: RICHMOND,VA
Posts: 27
| It will be ok
I know that is alot to deal with. Just hang in there my friend...it will all work out somehow. It is very difficult to try to protect the ones we love from something or someone that we know is not a positive force in their life.... when they can't see it themselves. I pray he comes to his senses before she brings him down anymore. I am here when you need to talk. Love ya, Ali |
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07-13-2004, 01:35 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,669
|
Thanks Ali.....I tell ya though, it is so hard to watch someone commit suicide in a relationship....and I am just upset to have be involved in any of it you know? Selfish I know..but by God I have come too far to let this eat at me.. He is a big boy, will have to deal with his own consequences. I also feel guilty for feelings so angry with her....I do not like to have any hate in my heart for anyone. The quote in my signature is how I want to live my life..with kindness for all... I will just have to meditate on this and pray for understanding and tolerance. It's hard to have to worry about your children being around family because they are so violent and deranged. Puting a fence post through the door is not an idle threat you know? Oh well..I better get my mind off of it.....I want to be happy today!!! ((((((((((Hope you are resting my friend. Praying for you.)))))))))
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
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07-13-2004, 01:46 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,669
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I have been sitting here thinking..I think my HP has placed this before to show me I can have boundaries of the heart, and not have to get sucked into trying to save someone you love and care about. And to teach me that I can be more tolerant than I am....especially of those who are abusive and domineering. The thing is for many months now many people that I see or hear of who are awful criminals or just very unpleasant people..I get a tenderness in my heart...it actually feels like it is softening.....I feel a love for them..I can 'see' their godliness, their life force, the one we all share, even for some who have wronged me personally.......but this girl.....I am so worked up about it...just pissed. Feels like an earthquake is shaking me. Maybe I am just still a bit fragile in the ole emotional department. I think I need to not be so serious about it...lighten up..and carry on.. Okay...am going to do some : writing about this. About allowing loved ones the space and time to face their own world, to make their own music... *sigh* ............... 
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
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07-13-2004, 01:56 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: RICHMOND,VA
Posts: 27
| Trust me my friend
You will get through this....you have come through so much already. You are right...this is just another hurdle to prove you have the strength to overcome. He will eventually come to see she is not good for him...or maybe not. Sounds like a dangerous relationship they have. I pray that you get through this without too much stress. Take care Love ya, Ali |
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07-13-2004, 03:53 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,669
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There is another reason this woman gets under my skin so bad....concern for my brother is a huge reason but to be fully honest about it...she has the same traits/personality of the two women/people that have hurt me so bad the past 10 years. It is uncanny..my husband even noticed it...so I know I am not just imagining it. I still have hurt and fear over those two..it is why this woman threatens me....makes me feel unsettled and angry...hmmmm..well, it may be a good thing I have had her introduced into my life..I have to grow past this...... Juts had to share my thought processes..it helps me look at what I am feeling and how to correct it..hope maybe it can help someone else also...maybe to understand why some people enter our lives..no matter how much we scream NO!!!!! GO AWAY!!! leave me in peace!! growth..it hurts...but not as bad as standing still in our ruts though, never growing at all..... Okay....maybe I am getting somewhere. I thought it a bit odd I was growing extremely irritated..when I had come to believe I was getting a grip on these things....well, there is work to be done..guess I will jump in with both feet!! Love ya ll!!!!! 
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
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07-22-2004, 09:04 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,669
|
Well, update on this situation..and et me tell you, a person can learn so much, transform so quickly when clean and sober...resenmenst can fade away instantly with a clear head and a willing heart....it's the truth! LOL... I have sat and talked to my brothers girlfriend...and I turned off all judgment, turned off all...'how is this going to affect ME?" and just listened and looked at the part of her that is also a part of me..the life force, the heart....I am no longer angry or bitter or upset or fearfl..it has melted away much quicker than I let it boil up....my God..the miracles that Do occur with a clear head, with a willingness to face things head on...and with an open heart....I still struggle greatly with mood fluctutaions, insecurities, rage..but there is this 'center' within me now....I can let go easier, I can forgive quicker...I grow!! It brings tears to my eyes as I type...that I can actually be healing....I pretty much figured a year ago or so I would die..it was all over for me.....it wasn't.I just had to show up for life..I was too busy dying all those years to pay any attention to life. This is a new breakthrough for me..to let go of so much fear and anger so quick.....it is a miracle!
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
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