CAPTAINZING2000

Ya might be bent V, ya sure the hell ain't broken.
Long as ya got friends who care <3

venuscat

Thank you Captain ♥

dsmaxis10

theres a book called mindfullness way threw depression might help

venuscat

Just a quick update because there have been THAT many issues with me over the past months.....

My hernia reduced. It is only the size of a dime maybe? So the doc says I may NEVER need surgery.

I have pretty much agreed to have the surgery for my bone tumor...yes, it means losing my right index finger, but I am left-handed. I am wait-listed for surgery as I don't have private health insurance. Then I will need to have chemo and radiation. (Blechhhh).

All of the other stuff...like the last bout of pneumonia was pretty much due to the fact that the tumor was active, and my body was just not strong enough to fight anything off.

As for the pain meds that preceded me drinking again, I AM NOT taking anything stronger than ibuprofen now unless I have the surgery. Then we will see.

And as far as being broken?? I was. I really was.
But somehow, by being here, the cracks are mending.

Thank you all for your support, and for listening to me whinge.

♥

V xx

Dee74

Glad to see you coming back V
hugs

D

Gilmer

Venus, I don't view your sharing your life's struggles with us as "whinging," and I'm sure nobody else does, either!

venuscat

(((Gilmer)))

Thank you love.

chicory

(((Venus))) Heavens girl, that's why we are all here... for someone to listen and care and to help us learn how to help ourselves. Don't feel guilty for reaching into the cookie jar here, because its for all of us, and none of us have to feel like we do not deserve it.
Its a cookie jar full of love, and who ever wants some is welcome to it!(and its kinda magic, never empty, so if someone wants or needs lotsa cookies, its ok)

I am glad you are here, Venus, and I am glad to hear that your hernia is not too serious. I would imagine that getting your finger surgery over will help you a lot, to begin to heal over the worry of that. I hope that is soon?

Glad little V is doing so well, give her some sugars from me

You are a strong woman, Venus. Thank you for always giving so much to others, and for letting us be there for you, too.

love ya bunches....

venuscat

I love you so much chic.
Thank you sweety.

As for getting the surgery over and done with?
I'm terrified.
I don't want to do it.
I have no idea when it will be.
Could be next week, or in a month. I don't know.

After that....it will get worse.
Not stuff I want to think about.
Stuff I want to get blitzed over, so I can pretend it isn't happening.

I tried that...it was stupid.
So I am just trying to get stronger one day at a time now.
And I have stopped running.

That's the best I can do right now.

V xx

chicory

You are much stronger than you know, Venus..We all are.

We will be here for you, to rally you on when times are tougher, but thats how we all get through the hard things...with help from our friends who love us.

The quickest way is through, not around. that doesn't work anyway, you know that now.. we all have to learn our own way, I think. You coming here shows you know the power of love and support. Least is a dear one, isn't she... coming after you , bringing you back to the herd

a day at a time. you are stronger today than yesterday, and things will work out. and we are here:groughug:

venuscat

Thank you ♥

And oh yes...least is my angel.

V xx

Gilmer

V, please stay here and post when you're suffering the worst of it, even if it's not "nice." Don't be afraid to use us as a true outlet. You're bound to need one! That's exactly what we're here for!

Fandy

sometimes it is really hard to see the positive in a big cloud of negatives...but you managed it. Yes, it is not good to have an amputation, but it is one finger, of your non-dominant hand...you will still have full use. No chemo and radiation is extremely draining, but YES, it is targeted and much less invasive than the old days...(ask about hydration therapy weekly, it helped my brother tremendously).
OK, you drank and took pain killers to escape, but you STOPPED because you are smart enough to realize you need all your wits about you to deal and care for your father, deal with your other sister on top of it....being dazed, drunk and confused is not helpful.
You left and then you realized it is better to be here with us than alone talking to yourself.

I really think you will be OK, you are coming back and getting much more level. hugs

venuscat

Thank you Fandy ~ you always tell it like it is, and I truly appreciate that.
And it means a lot to me that you see I am becoming more stable. I think so too.
Terrified though.

Love and hugs,

V xx

Tiredofdrugs

Venus: I'm really sorry this is all happening to you! I spoke with Jethro about all of your issues!

His response was: "He would give up a finger in a second to keep it from spreading"! I guess I'd have to agree with him! And it isn't the hand you use as the primary one! That's a blessing in itself!

Please find some strength in ppl here on SR! You have so many wanting you to stick around! And I've seen how bad it can get with letting the cancer go and continue spreading throughout a body! With my dad!

You are making the right decision! I know you are scared and don't want to go thru this. Hell! I would be too! But I also know there are loved ones in my life that would push me to get it done because they wouldn't want to lose me. You have the same going on in your life too!

This is for you!


TOD

venuscat

Thank you TOD ~ for the words, the wisdom and the beautiful video.

So much love.

V xx

Ann

You are a woman of courage, Venus, you can do this. It may not be easy but courage and faith will see you through the days ahead, I promise.

Love you lots.

Hugs

venuscat

And I love you Ann.

If I am a woman of courage, it is because you all give me strength.
And of course I have my faith; it is what has gotten me through the very darkest hours.

V xx

least

Get some rest, dear. Talk to you later.

afloatsober

I THINK THAT YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!
No ifs, buts or maybes......
Did I shout that.
Yes I did! lol
G