Can Somoene Please Try To Help!!!!!!!!1

[chuckiec6]

WELL JUST LOOKING FOR SOME ANSWERS IF POSSIBLE!! MY FIANCE'S MOTHER HAS MANIC DEPRESSION AND ITS NOW GOING ON ALMOST 8 YEARS THAT IVE BEEN WITH MY FIANCE AND AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE AS FAR AS HER MOTHER GOES......NOT IN A BAD WAY, ITS JUST THAT SINCE MY FIANCE WAS ABOUT 10-11 YRS OLD, HER MOTHER DOESNT REALIZE HER 3 CHILDREN EVEN EXIST....IVE SEEN HER MOTHER ONLY ON A FEW OCCASIONS, AND HAVE HEARD TONS OF STORIES ABOUT HER ILLNESS!!

NOW MY QUESTION BASICALLY IS THIS........HER MOTHER ABSOLUTELY REFUSES TO TAKE MEDICINE, HAS BEEN HOSPITALIZED A NUMBER OF TIMES AND MADE TO TAKE MEDICINE GOT BETTER AND WHEN SHE GOT OUT SHE STOPPED TAKING HER MEDS AGAIN. I SEE EVERY DAY, IN THE EYES OF MY FIANCE, THE PAIN AND SADNESS IT HAS CAUSED HER TO LOSE A MOTHER, GO THROUGH A FAMILY BREAKUP ( ALL AT THE AGE OF 10-11) , AND FOR THE PAST 15 YRS OR SO HAVE TO JUST SOMEHOW ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THATS THE WAY LIFE IS GOING TO BE AND THAT HER MOTHER IS GONE!!! NOW I HEARD IF A PERSON ISNT PHYSICALLY HARMING THEMSELVES OR OTHERS THERES NOTHING U CAN DO AS FAR AS TAKING MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS AND DEMANDING OR INSISTING TREATMENT OR TAKING THAT PERSON TO THE HOSPITAL, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF THATS TRUE AND WHAT POSSIBLY IF ANYTHING WE CAN DO??????

NOW THE LAST QUESTION, I'VE READ ALOT OF INFO ABOUT MANIC DEPRESSION AND FEEL I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA WHAT IT CONSISTS OF, HOWEVER STORIES ABOUT MY FIANCES MOTHER DONT ADD UP TO ME, FOR EXAMPLE SUPPOSEDLY YEARS BACK HER MOTHER INSISTED SHE WAS IN COLLEGE, AND THAT SHE WAS STUDYUNG TO BE A DOCTOR WHICH WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE, AND SHE SEEMS TO NOT EVEN KNOW SHE HAS KIDS, AND THE LAST TIME MY FIANCE WAS ACKNOWLEDGED BY HER AS HER DAUGHTER WAS HER 13 OR 14TH BDAY WHEN HER MOTHER GOT HER A PAIR OF "BABY SHOES", BASICALLY NOT REALIZING THAT THE CHILD SHE BOUGHT THE GIFT FOR WASN'T A BABY.......NOW THOSE COUPLE OF EXAMPLES AND SOME OTHER THINGS SHE DOES, TO ME, SEEM LIKE ISSUES THAT I HAVNT READ ABOUT REGARDING MANIC DEPRESSION AND AM CURIOUS IF THATS SOMETHING OTHER THAN MANIC DEPRESSION OR IF THEESE THINGS OCCUR WITH THE ILLNESS??? SORRY TO ANYONE THATS READ THIS I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH BUT I AM JUST AT A POINT WHERE I CAN'T SIT ON THE SIDELINES ANYMORE.......I KNOW DEEP DOWN IN HER MOTHERS HEART, WHETHER SHE KNOWS IT OR NOT.......THERE IS A PERSON WHO GAVE BIRTH TO 3 CHILDREN AND DID EVERYHTING IN THE WORLD FOR THEM, AND LOVED LIFE UNTIL THAT DREADED ILLNESS SET IN, AND I CANNOT ALLOW HER TO MISS OUT ON THAT IF AT ALL POSSIBLE!!!!! PLEASE SOMEONE PLEASE TRY TO GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS OR POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, THANKS!!!!!!!

[eddie z.]

You might want to do some reading on schizoaffective disorders and you and your fiance probably ought to get up with a social worker or counselor reagarding what you can do about the situation. Wish you the best!
Love, Eddie

[KelKel]

Hi Chuckie
It sounds to me like your future mother-in-law suffers from something other than just manic depression. I am manic/depressive and luckily do not suffer from the maladies you talked about.
If she won't take meds, I am not sure what you acn do to help her.
I am sure others will be along who will have more ideas.
Glad you are here, there is a lot of support happening around here.

[woodtick]

Chuck,
One of the symptoms of schizophrenia is delusions of grandeur, that's what might be the case with your mother in law if she thinks she is someone else. Schizophrenics have been known to claim to be Jesus Christ or the president. A bi-polar in a manic mode can have grandiose optimism and self-esteem which may lead to reckless investments and spending sprees but I don't believe it would be so far as believing he/she is someone else. Disorganized thinking, disturbed perceptions and inappropriate emotions and actions are tell tale signs of schizophrenia. There is a possibility she may have been diagnosed incorrectly. It sounds like there are possible signs of dementia in the mix as well. Schizophrenia usually hits just after adulthood and in women it is generally later than in men. Alzheimer's hits later in life but I have heard of people in their thirties with it that are almost incapacitated. She probably has something more serious than a mood disorder but I'm not one to make that determination. Either way I believe you are correct in the assumption that there is nothing you can do about it until she poses a threat. If she has one of the two disorders I mentioned and refuses treatment, she is a walking time bomb, eventually something is going to happen.

I feel your pain as I haven't talked to my mother in about twelve years. She has serious problems as well, it's not that uncommon. 1 out of every 100 people will develop schizophrenia for example and the numbers for Alzheimer's grow with age. It would be good to know what she has, often times it is genetic and if she has schizophrenia the odds of your fiancé having it are 1 in 10. Maybe you could talk her mother into seeing a psychiatrist somehow.

I have accepted the fact that there is essentially nothing I can do for my mother except prayers and hope I will be able to help her some day. It's probably best for me that I don't have to interact with my mother, it would be very difficult.

I hope I helped. Good luck.

[chuckiec6]

Thank you everyone who responded......Still not sure of what to do!!!! WoodTick thanks for the good info. If anyone else out there has anything to add feel free. THANKS!!!

[eddie z.]

You're very welcome! Hope things work out.
Love, Eddie