Astro

We continue from here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-i-cut-25.html

helpwanted101

ok i guess i have a new thread... strange

Seren

Hi helpwanted!

When threads get to be about 500 posts long, we start a new one for the original poster. If we didn't, this forum would slow to a crawl

I think that you have gained so much support from this thread is fantastic! You're a sequel!!

Astro

Nothing strange at all about 500 posts, that's a lot of support! Keep going!

helpwanted101

today is the last day in feb. that means by 11:59pm i would have gone 7 long months without cutting.

helpwanted101

Ok for those who don't know. I have accepted a job in New Mexico for the summer. I will be working at Philmont Scout Ranch. I will be leaving at the end of May to head out there.

suki44883

Congratulations! That sounds like an adventure.

Coldfusion

Fantastic! Will you take the train to get there?

zanzibar

7 months is so great to hear! But I guess it's closer to 9 months now. Guess I haven't been around for a while. Good luck and best wishes in New Mexico.

Dee74

Congratulations Helpwanted101

D

helpwanted101

i am driving out there with family. and i have gone 9 months now

Dee74

Congratulations again helpwanted

D

helpwanted101

officially one year without cutting

Gilmer

That's magnificent!

Astro

Congratulations! Thanks for checking in

helpwanted101

At the beginning of summer I couldn't even hold my knife without wanting to use it to cut nor could I hold other knives bc knives and cutting go hand in hand. Sometimes I look at things that have to with self harm and cutting. That brings up memories for me thrus making me miss it and want to do it again. I know I brought that on my myself but still after one year without it. It doesn't get easier like I thought.

Coldfusion

I think one of the reasons this forum lives on is because of the old-timers, and all of them still feel the challenges--and victories--of maintaining sobriety.

helpwanted101

I left the place that I loved because my health was not good. It was hurting me and how I worked. I couldn't do it anymore. So I went home. To the place I knew what was in store. Abuse, yelling, and I knew I would be alone a lot of the time. I have gone to so many drs since I have been home. My heart isn't good. I fight that everyday and people think I am just faking bc I can't do stuff like them or act like them. I can't be like them. I have accepted that time and time again. I don't understand why I can't be like everyone else. But people just need to accept the fact that I am sick. It's a chronic thing it's not going to go away. I AM SICK. I am going to a hematologist tomorrow because something is seriously wrong. This is a wake up call to everyone. Things aren't the same anymore. My friend died a few weeks ago. And I thought that it should have been me. I was the one who wanted to end it all and now she is gone and I am alive. I wanted to die. I am so tired of being sick. I can't do this anymore. I can't. But I have to. And no one knows how hard it is to keep on going. I act how I do because I wasn't cared for the way I should have been. I am trying to change. But maybe I should not even bother bc nothing I do is ever good enough for anyone. There I said it.

Coldfusion

Hi Help!

I just wanted to let you know that I am here. I'm not always real quick with the perfect helpful answer, but I will keep you in my heart and get back to you soon.

Astro

Jill, you've been checking in here for the past 5 years so I know you're not going to give up. Please get the help you need and keep reaching out. I'm sorry to hear you lost a friend.

BTW- I don't want to be like everyone else. I sorta like being a unique individual with my own story