depressed sometimes.

[tomato]

Hello. I'm new here and though I've somewhat introduced myself on another thread, I haven't here.

I am 24 years old. I think I've had depression for as long as since I was 4 years old. I've never sought professional help, and on rare occasions do I share my problems with others.

I started a medication for my depression and I'm not sure what I think about it. This is the first time I have taken medication for it.
I have a hard time dealing with my days through the week. I have a serious boyfriend whom I only get to see on the weekends because of the distance. I enjoy our time together, but it depresses me to only see him for about 2 days out of the week. Ever since I have finished college about 1.5 years ago, I've had a hard time finding and keeping a job. So the only thing I have to do all day is just sit here and either watch television, do laundry, eat, etc. I moved back in with my parents after a separation/divorce nearly 3 years ago.

I need my boyfriend around more often, I need a job, and I yearn to have my own place again. I'm just feeling really down on myself about all of my surroundings. I just feel like a burden on my family, friends, and my boyfriend. Most of all, I feel like a burden on myself. I don't want to die or anything, but I just feel trapped and like I'm digging an even deeper hole by the day.

Thanks for listening. It feels a little better to talk about it.

[51anna]

Hi Tomato,

I too suffered from depression from my late teens onward. Unfortunately I was unable to be diagnosed or treated until I was in my late forties and had been drinking for three years in a last attempt to cope with life. For me, meds are the answer and I will never stop taking them. I still feel down sometimes of course, but the difference is that now I can cope with it. Before it was just a contuing downward spiral. You say you're not sure what you think about the meds you're taking. How long have you been taking them, because as you probably know they do take awhile to kick in. The other thing I would say is I had to try 3 different meds and then 3 different doses of that med, to find one that worked. I guess I'm just saying don't give up on the meds if you think there's a chance they will help.

Other than that, have you considered counselling? Sometimes, if you find the right person, it can help. Have you considered looking for a job near to where your boyfriend lives and moving there? Maybe that's a possibility.

I hope you keep posting and hang in there.

Love, Anna

[HardHead]

Hey all, I here what yas say. I'm in a prediictament again myself. The only time I feel o-kay is when I'm on the scooter.
Miss the life I had before the glass bottom boat broke.
I don't get a chance to get here as often, but today I need too.
I have not had a chance or funds to keep up with the meds, I know they worked now because the insanity that's coming back in my life is extreme.
Work is hard to find then to keep, no one to really talk to about it, emotion feelings making my head hurt. staying sober is getting more difficult, and the front i try to stay on is breaking down. where am I at? fell like falling apart.
I did make a promise to myself, mebbe not a good one, I wanna go back home, see my boy,Imiss very much, 20 years sober, not sure right now for what though. had to get this out and more,did'nt feel right on the sober boards today, thanks for letting me vent, just feel like ****,
later
prayers and blessings

[tomato]

Dear anna,

Well, in all honesty, I have only taken the medication twice. I know I have to give it time. I guess it's all just so new to me. I'm taking a different step, a new approach.

I have never sought counseling, but I do intend to in the very near future. Coming here was the first step for me.

I have considered looking for a job near my boyfriend. We just keep changing our minds about the situation. For example, I plan to move there into an apartment then we decide we don't want an apartment and we should look for a house. Then it goes back to me getting an apartment then back to the house. And when we are on the subject about buying into a home together, it's a matter of WHERE. Sheesh. haha.

The job situation is stressful. In the past 4-5 weeks, I have sent out approx. 8 or so resumes and not even so much as an interview. It's very disheartening. I really want to get my foot in the door at some point in time to start my new career.

Thank you for the advice and for listening.

I hope things are better for you today, hardhead. Please come back by more often.

[HardHead]

Seek professional help if'n you can, The rest of all works out with a clear head.
Better today, need to get this stuff straightened out. every day I get deeper in the hole financialy, Time to head outta here, got a job lead, hopefully more than I get now and time will cure the rest. HA HA Time the nasty 4 letter word. thanks
Later

[tomato]

Good luck on the job lead!!

[fuster]

I agree with Anna's suggestion to try counseling, even if you can only do it once a month. It does help develop coping skills and if you have a good counselor you can feel better.

Give that medication some months before you try changing course. I assume a psychiatrist is monitoring it? If not maybe consider that, since you may have symptoms that do not respond to this medication or you may have side effects that a psychiatrist is better equipped to figure out and if needed change you to something that works better for you.

[1Marty]

Hello Tomato, I am Marty, an alcoholic. And I also suffer from depression,anxiety and social phobias (which I self medicated for years with alcohol). The medications usually do take time to kick in. Glad to hear that you are lookingin looking for help. Hang in there.

[tomato]

Thanks everyone.

I, too, have anxiety problems from time to time and social phobias. I'm hoping the medicine I am taking will adjust and I find what is right for me.
I wish I didn't have such a hard time talking with people and it were easier for me to make friends. I was recently told by a loved one that I wasn't very outgoing. I always thought I got a long with people just fine, but I guess they mean I'm not very talkative with people; I shy away. I do wish it were easy.

[runningfree]

Tomato...
I feel funny giving advice because I feel so needy and want advice. It feels good to be able to reach out to someone asking. As those before me have said... the medications take time to "kick in". They are not like an Advil that gets to the pain right after you take it. It can take weeks and then the dosage may need to be lifted and then more weeks. I also am taking medications and waiting to see what will happen. Patience is not easy when you are dealing with sadness and depression. It overcomes you and all you can think about is how yucky you feel. Good luck.
I also have a very difficult time making and keeping friends. The reason is because I shy away from them. Although people in New England are friendly they tend to stay to themselves and you usually have to be more outgoing and able to ask friends to do things. I have always been and when I am in this situation with depression I never speak to anyone unless they speak to me first. It comes across as rude at times but it is the way I was and I am very sensitive. When I feel good and confident then I am much more assertive and outgoing. Regardless of the situation, I let people come to me for friendship because it is just easy than getting hurt. It is not easy and the older that you get the harder that it feels because people are in their niches and I know I always feel that I don't belong so I don't search them out.
Oh well... You are doing the right things.
Good luck.
--Sharon

[1Marty]

Hi again tomato, I feel you on this. I never made friends well. I was always very, very shy. (Its a wonder I got married). I was very often depressed. I wanted to be involved with others, but I could not carry on a conversation. The meds my Doctor prescribes help. Things are still far from perfect. But at least now they are bearable.

[Juls]

Tomatoe,

Welcome to the forum, we are truly glad to have you here. It helps so much to come together and discuss our feelings at whatever stage we're in in our recovery. you've made a step in the right direction in asking for help. I'm 49 and have had problems with depression as long as I can remember, but don't let that scare you, because I've had many good years as well. Medication has helped me as well as therapy, as well as just growing older and coming to an understanding of myself and my life.

Please continue to share here with us, and be part of our community.

Juls