Out of Touch

[Juls]

I really feel out of touch trying to get adjusted to all the changes here. I don't take change easily, LOL, and it seems so complicated. Also I miss seeing my name listed on my forum site as "moderator" LOL. Now it only says "forum leader" over my avatar. Which by the way I would like a new one dear sweet Avatar fairy. A Georgia O'keefe flower painting of one blossom of something would be great.

I've really been getting things together here at home in the past couple of months that our computer is out of order. I got caught up on alot of stuff around the house. Ever since my husband and I had our "big talk" about our marriage, where I seriously considered leaving with our daughter, he has changed so much. Seeing all the positive changes in him has really motivated me to want to make a better home for us. Before I had so much resentment for him that I just didn't really do anything after we moved in to make it homey and nice. I just couldn't because anything I would do like that would just make me resent him more. It's a long story about all that, and I won't go into all the boring details.

Now I feel good about being here with him, and we are much more cohesive as a family. Before we hardly ever even ate dinner all together. Usually I would eat with our daughter before he came home, and he was lucky if I cooked anything for him at all. Now we sit down as a family to eat regularly.

My daughter has finally started sleeping in her room, in her own bed, so we now share a bed together. I didn't want to sleep with him before, so I didn't work very hard on getting my daughter to sleep in her own room. I never talked about it much here because I don't like to just talk about the negative things happening in my life, but my marriage has been really, really difficult. But on an emotional level, he doesn't hit me, or curse me, and he doesn't drink or use, but emotionally he can be very cold and rejecting and that hurt me so badly. I was in a constant state of turmoil because I didn't want to stay, but he's not a bad father and the time I left before for 3 months was so hard on our daughter. But I was getting so unhappy I just felt I couldn't stay, and that's when we had the big talk.

Back to the site though, am I the only one who thinks it seems a little too complicated? LOL I'm sure I'll get the hang of it though the more I'm here now.

Juls

[Justme57]

Hi Juls and welcome back

I am glad things are working out for you and your husband , great to see!

I was a bit confused with the new board at first , but now I really like it , I am finding it very user friendly

HUGX
Lee

[Mamabear]

Juls,

I hope things continue to grow for you and your family.
Do you tell your husband specifically what you need when you need it? I know I never did and am learning to and it makes a difference. After all, he can't read my mind even though I expect him to!
I like the board but haven't quite mastered it yet.
love,
mamabear

[runningfree]

You should be able to talk about whatever you want to talk about. Sometimes it is easier when we know that it is going better and it is on an upswing. It is never a good feeling to be in the middle of muck and then reach out and be able to think that you will be able to get out and not sink further in the sand let alone get cleaned off too! Glad to hear that things are working out.

My hubby is wonderful. Hardworking, great dad, generous, funny, kind, but not a lover of needy people especially those that need him emotionally. He shuts down. We get along great as long as any "issues" come up. As a patient suffering from depression it is hard to pretend to not be bothered by issues. Hopefully this fairytale will have a happy ending as we are continuing to work on it. I guess silence is golden.
Thanks for sharing

[ksos]

Juls...

It's good to see you back and with your avatar, no less! As you know, I can relate to marriage issues, and I'm glad that things seem to working out between you and your H. Family is important, of course, and so are the people who made the family. Taking care of yourself, needless to say, goes a long way.

My wife and I are living together still. There's been no movement towards a divorce or towards reconciliation. We are living as friends, which I have come to accept in the recent weeks. Thank goodness, everyone in my home is safe and protected. Despite all of the upheaval in the last year, the worse of the storm seems to have passed and I remain grateful for having what I have.

Anyway, my friend, just dropping in for a quick hello...