ksos! and whoever

[eddie z.]

"I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I was blessed to have been caught, as I never would have stopped using these drugs." —ksos

Doesn't sound ridiculous at all! In fact, I totally identify. It only took me a few hours after I knew I was busted to get really grateful that it had happened. It meant all the misery of my active addiction was going to end. I may have felt differently if I had actually gone to jail, but I didn't, so I'm not going to worry about that. The counselor who sent me to treatment said I was very lucky to be alive and I'm sure he was right.

I thought it was my destiny to be a junkie. That I was just going to go on using 'til I died. Although those last several months I admit I was looking for a way out. I had even thought of going to NA. I question whether I didn't do what I did to get caught on purpose subconsciously. I know I didn't really care if I did. Know what I mean? I'm sure you do.

What are you doing at home, by the way?
Love, Eddie

[Juls]

Eddie,

I can definitely relate to what your saying. I got arrested for forging a perscription, twice! The first time I spent the night in jail, and the second time I spent three days, and I never want to do that again.

I'm really happy because my probation is up this year and I can petition to have my record expunged.

I watched you make alot of progress since you've come to the forum, and I'm really proud of you, and I hope you feel proud of yourself.

Juls

[eddie z.]

Thanks, Juls!! Appreciate the compliment, although I can't honestly imagine what progress I've made. I feel like just the opposite is true.

When is your probation up? I'm in a deferred prosecution program which is kind of like probation only I don't actually have a conviction, just pending charges. Had to do community service and have to check in monthly.

The question is, though, did you WANT to get caught? Somewhere down inside, you know?

Glad you're back. I was starting to wonder!
Love, Eddie