Yikes!

[lurkings]

What happened to my thread is it gone? Drat!

I hope everyone is good... No more withdrawl!!

~Lurkings

[dotcom]

Lurkings,

Yep, I think it is gone. How are you doing? Hope you are well!

Hugs and Prayers,

Dot :shades:

[lurkings]

~Dotcom~
Haven't talked to you in a while. Things are going well. Except I have pink eye and have had to miss two days of work. But I'll make it up next week. I just feel bad the other teachers are having to deal with my kids!

How are things with you? I read some of your other posts and you were mentioning have a hard time recently. I don't post in some of the other forums because I am just not sure what to say and you know how I am about huggy stuff.

Have a graet day and am happy to have gotten a chance to talk to you again!

~Lurkings

[dotcom]

Lurkings,

OH MY! Pink eye must be horrible. I will be sure to send some extra prayers your way.

How are things going? Are you still with Candy? Are you still playing in the band?

Things for me have been rough, but getting better because I AM STILL CLEAN! My ex who I called Satan passed away, then another friend was stabbed. But on a happier note, my birthday is Sunday and I am having a birthday party on Sunday.

Well, hope you are doing well! We will get your thread back and rocking!

Rock on!

Dot

[lurkings]

~Dotcom~
Yes, I am still with Candy. I have a feeling I will be there for a while since just recently I have finally came to the understanding that I trust her. Four months isn't that ba right? I am starting to really show myself more and finally starting to talk! Whew! Has been difficult since she keeps pointing things out to me that I do and don't know about. But I am working on it.

Yes, we still have a band. I got a Danelectro 1956 U2. If you look up Danelectro on the net my guitar is on there. It is a cream color. My first electric guitar! I love it! It sounds great!

I am sorry to hear about all your misfortunes! I went through that and it affected me a lot. If there is anything I can do for you let me know. I know it is hard!!

You are the third person I know that birthday is on Sunday! Awesome! I hope you have a fabulous time... Oh yeah... Happy Birthday!!! :bparty3

~Lurkings

[eddie z.]

Hey, girls!!
I've been lurking myself on this thread for a couple of days, but I didn't have anything to add. Still don't. Except, lurkings, 4 months is GREAT for establishing the kind of relationship you have with your therapist!

Not meaning to sound condescending, but when I was your age, I had a therapist I saw for several years. As soon as she got down to the issue of abuse, I quit seeing her. I just wasn't ready to go there.

So, like I've said before, you've really got a head start on me. I had to go through about 15 more years of addiction and other misery before I trusted anyone enough to talk about the REAL issues.

Love to both of you,
Eddie

[dotcom]

Lurkings,

Too cool! I meant to find a therapist last week but have had pneumonia. So much to sort through, I could really use a trail guide! LOL. It sounds to me like you are coming out of your shell! That rocks!

A cream colored electric guitar!!! Need I say more?! That really rocks! Enjoy it. I have put my drums aside for awhile. It gets to be too much. But I do plan on rocking on!

Thank you for your understandings. It is very difficult and that is why I think I need a therapist, because I dont know where to begin. Just put it on the ol to do list and try to forget about dealing with it until then. HAHA.

Thank you for the birthday wishes! I so look forward to this weekend! In fact, I am supposed to be cleaning house right now!

Ed,

Can you believe Lurkings thread is... gone?! Even though I had been on and off it, I found it helpful. I procrastinate when it comes to therapy because.. I do not trust people to talk about certain things.... but I know I must or they will never find any resolve. Is that the right word?


Hugs and prayers for both of you!

Dot

[eddie z.]

dot,

Resolution. I think that's the word you're looking for. Thus far working the Steps has proved to be one of the best "therapies" I've found. I'm only on Step 6, though, so I might change my mind. teehee. But I still have a therapist and a lot of what I do with her helps me on my Steps actually. It's pretty cool.

Gotta go serve supper.
Love, Eddie

[lurkings]

~Eddie~
I think one thing that helped was that it was my choice. When I choose something I really stick it out most of the time. At first I went to just prove people wrong but when she kept encouraging me to go back it was more inquiry than anything. Then she kept asking things I couldn't remember. So that kind of started the ball rolling. I never knew I was abused or anything. I didn't have any idea of half the things until her. But now problem areas in my life are making so much more sense ya know? I wish I could help you on ya'll search to find a great therapist. One thing I would in courage is ask questions. Ask about education, licensing and all that good stuff and if in sessions they don't like you to ask questions it probable isn't a good fit.That is just my experience though.

I am not familar with how the steps work so it is hard for me to compare and contrast... Ya know?

~Dotcom~
Yuck! I am sorry you have been sick.

I am finally coming out of my shell. Candy and I were talking about that how she has noticed a change and we were talking about school and stuff. So... I think that is good for me because a lot of times I am so quiet that I get walked over very easy... But now people don't have that and I am not doing a lot of stuff I don't want to.

Hey... GET CLEANING!!


~Lurkings

[eddie z.]

I was trying to remember exactly how I got my current therapist. Either my husband or somebody at the treatment center I was in got her name as someone who worked with trauma victims I think. I'll have to ask my husband.

But I'm kind of the opposite of you, lurkings. I don't really care about education and all that. I just see how things go. And things seem to be going well with this one. She's the one who had me sign that contract to call people. And that seems to be going pretty well.

—Eddie

[lurkings]

~Eddie~
I guess I care because I have had a number of bad experiences with "therapists". With all the ones I called before I found someone I liked I thought it was hopeless. My friend gave me this therapists number from her therapist... Her and her husband were seeing a counselor. I just knew it had to be a girl. I think that was the biggest thing. I didn't want some really old person... I know that sounds mean but I need to know that they are in the ere and now ya know? Candy is older but a college teacher. So she knows where students are directly ya know? It is hard to explain but after the first session I knew this was it! At that point you're right. It didn't matter about the education she had.

Good, I am glad the calling thing is going well! I think that the next time I get angry and go off on something she might let me have it. It has been hard because I haven't found much else that works. I need physical labor or I get physical. I have been very angry lately but I don't know why. I just do that sometimes. Perhaps it is just all the things we have been talking about perhaps? I don't know.

Anyways!!!! Your two rock (~dot)!!!

~Lurkings

[dotcom]

Lurkings,

Too cool that you and your therapist are working out. How is the pink eye? I can relate about the physical labor thing. I used excersizing for awhile to release the anger or i get very antsy. When I get antsy is when I want to take a walk down the block back to "the old playgrounds". So I used the treadmill to release that. And hopefully when I get back from being ill I will get back to my excersize routine.

Ed,

Resolution... I need that I think? I have not found a good therapist since my last. Actually I have found a good one but then got sick so I want to give her a ring and get moving on things. Specifically my issues with being adopted. Gotta get rolling on that before I lose my motivation. haha.

Hugs and Prayers for both of you. Rock on!

Dot :king:

[lurkings]

~Dotcom~
Yeah, I feel fortunate especially after hearing a lot of people on here talk about expriences.

I hate to excersise. Yuck. I make myself do it every now and again but I prefer just playing sports in general. I hate running for no reason ya know? Mainly because my ankles are very sensitive... I have broken both of them at one point or another. They swell like baloons unless I wear the braces. I need to mostly work on my abs anyways. I think once I get them under control I can get the rest there. I can see a little bit now but I have a long ways to go.

~Lurkings

[dotcom]

Lurkings,

Hey, I hate running too. I am okay with walking but running... OUCH! Your ankles must have hurt when you broke them! Oh man, i cannot even imagine breaking my ankles! I am not much of a sport person, but I do like volleyball!

Happy Easter and Rock on!

Dot :thumb

[eddie z.]

Hey! Guess what I just finished doing? Exercising! I went to the YW with my mom this morning and did Nautilus and I just got done on this weird cardio machine my dad has that I can't describe. So I'm good and sweaty.

<Hey, look at this cool new smilie.

Dot, if you hate running, what do you do on the treadmill? teehee. I love to run outside with the headphones on, though I haven't done so in a very long time. I do play music when I'm on the cardio machine, though.

Lurkings, what happened to the idea of taking a baseball bat to a tree? You obviously need to do something physical to get all that anger out. Is it causing problems at work? What about swimming? No stress on the ankles there.

Well, I got's to bathe now. See you later!
Love, Eddie

[lurkings]

~Eddie~
I forgot about the bat... So I did it... For an hour. Came back more angry than when I started and with blisters. Then I e-mailed Candy an lengthy angry note... Not directed at her just being angry and now I feel deeplu depressed... I wish I could take something when I get this down... The past few weeks it feels like lexapro hasn't had much effect. Just back to the same old person. I don't know if that is good or bad.

I am too bumbed to even want to talk anymore. Where the hell is a gun when you need one huh? :banger

~Lurkings

[eddie z.]

lurkings,
I hope that you're sleeping quietly as I'm writing this. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I wish there were something I could do for you. Don't forget you can PM me anytime! Hang in there and it will pass. Sorry about the cliches, but it's true.
Love, Eddie

[dotcom]

Ed,

treadmills are for walking! LOL

Lurkings,

I am sorry too that you are having problems right now. I will pray for you! Hang in there! You can pm me anytime, that goes for you too ed!

Hugs and Prayers,

dot

[eddie z.]

dot,
Oh, I see. I hope lurkings is OK! She hasn't PM'd you, has she?
—Eddie

[dotcom]

Lurkings,

How are you doing? Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

Hugs,

dot

[Chy]

Congratulations on 4 months lurkings! Sorry we lost your thread!

[lurkings]

I sorry I had to leave for a little bit. Just trying to figure things out. I think I have... Well, atleast it gives me a good base to work from huh? Sorry about the insainity. Atleast with a little bit of the knowledge that I have gained maybe I can help prevent this in the future.

Tomorrow afternoon is my meeting with Candy and I think I will be bringing this all up again... Yuck. I've already dealt with it once I think I need a little break from it.

Thanks for the support Eddie, Dotcome and Chy! I appreciate it.

~Lurkings

[eddie z.]

You KNOW you're welcome!!
—Eddie

[dotcom]

Lurkings,

Yes, you are definately welcome! Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers. I can understand having to take a minute to regain composure and whatnot. Hope your meeting will go well with Candy. Let us know how you are doing!

Hugs and prayers,

dot

[eddie z.]

lurkings,
What's up? Haven't heard from you today.
Love, Eddie