Selling the family home

[Lilya]

My mother has called me and told me she has had an offer into the old family home. She has until Friday to decide. It´s not a bad offer.

I didn´t expect her to sell so soon, if she indeed sells it now. I know she will move in with my brother and sister-in-law´s new house in the subburbs. She wants us siblings to pick some furnitures and things and divide it between us.

I don´t really need much from the home, but there are some things that I will take. I have made arrangements for a storage place and that is all well, but I have a strange feeling about it.

The family house will be gone this year, and it feels strange. It´s mixed with relieve and sadness. It also signifies my father´s imminent death and if not, then he is losing his ability to function mentally in any ways. He hardly remembers us anymore.

Thoughts and comments would be very welcome. I have a feeling this will be a stressful time in my life. But then again, when isn´t it?

Use adversity

[Juls]

That's a big event Lilya, because it does signify so much change. The only day to deal with it is like we've learned with everything else, "one day at a time." It's good you will be able to take the things you want to have with you. Make sure you have pictures, and maybe make a scrapbook to keep. I love scrapbooks as a way of perserving memories.

Several years after my mother died, the family home which had been left to her sister, who had also recently died, was going to be sold. I'd never been there. It was in Chicago. I took a trip with my then infant daughter to visit the cousin I had not seen since I was 3 years old. I stayed in the family home, and I was very glad I got a chance to see the house and neighborhood where my mother grew up. My cousin told me to take whatever I wanted, so I took a couple of things as momentos.

It needn't be an overly stressful time. I think that by having the right attitude about things we can prevent alot of mental stress. It's a matter of accepting the inevitable and making peace with it. Grieving for the things that need to be grieved for, but then moving on and contuing to acknowledge life.

Juls

[woodtick]

I have discussed this subject with my brother before. My father has been considering moving for a few years. My brother and I both felt that my father's house had always been a safe haven or home base for us. No matter how bad we screwed up in life we could always return there. Neither of us want him to sell it, but we can't expect him to hang on to it because of our sentimental feelings for it. My father has to do what is best for himself.

[2stop]

~~Lilya~~ This must be so hard for you. I am so sorry for the added stress. Please know my prayers are with you, and I always have a hug to send you across the sea.

Love and Light, and more warm hugs............

[Lilya]

Thank you all for your support.

My mother has sold the house and will hand it over to the new owner by end of April. There goes my Cuba trip. LOL But I feel better about it and will just pack the things that belong to me and store them at my place until I know what to do with them. I´ll go to Cuba later, maybe in the fall.

To me the family home is a mixture of safe haven and a place forbidden to me when I was a teenager as I was a criminal youth and sometimes lived on the streets. I used to think about that home with such nostalgia when I was living under bridges, but then I realized that nothing is a safe haven. You make your surroundings safe, but you only have it for a while.

This is a big event though and sure feels funny. It makes you feel old as well. But I´m used to stress and in some way I think I thrive on it.

Use adversity

[2stop]

(((((((((((Lilya))))))))))))):redrose :redrose :redrose

[Mamabear]

Good God,
Breaking up a homestead is rough, Lilya.
And it's the oddest things that getcha. I hope you and your siblings can divide things peacefully. My husband and his sibs made a list and split things up before the actual day and it was still rough.
Be very kind and gentle with yourself.
I send a long hug
love,
Mamabear
p.s. I never remember the darn pic til I'm home and at hoime I have no scanner. Geez.

[lurkings]

My parents were thinking about moving. I was a wrek! If my parents or grandmother ever sold their house I wouldn't even know what to think. It would be horrible for me. I hate change. Good luck Lilya!

[Juls]

After my mother passes away she left the home I'd grown up in to me. Eventually I sold it to move to another area. I had grown up there, and I also raised my son there. His room had been my room as a teenager, and my mother's room was mine. I had no idea as to how much I was going to miss it, until after I'd sold it and was living somewhere else.

I still miss that house, because it was mine, and I had everything just the way I liked it. I didn't have to worry about a partners needs or wants. It was warm and comfortable and cozy, with a beautiful garden I had put alot of work into.

The house I own with my husband now is a great house though, and I'm having alot of fun with decorating and arranging.

Juls