How was your Christmas?

[Lilya]

Hello everyone and happy holidays!

How was your Christmas?

I´ll start with mine. I had a wonderful and peaceful 24th of December which is our main Christmas day in Europe. We all gathered together at my sister´s house and I spent the afternoon with my father watching two favorite films. My family was on it´s best behviour and then Dad´s friends came for a visit. After that we had the traditional dinner -- and of course, my sister asked if I wanted the special wine with the foie gras, and I declined as usual - otherwise it was great fun. I got great presents and the children loved my gifts; later I went for a midnight mass at the local church and had a small feast afterwards at my place with a few friends. It´s an old custom and quite fun.
The day after Christmas, yesterday, wasn´t as nice because my father became very violent. He may have Alzheimer in the early stages. Today I´m resting and chatting to friends, writing overdue postcards and answering e-mail. My mood is a bit dark because of my father, but getting better. I think I´ll be fine. I have theatre, more feasts and movies to look forward to.

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[2stop]

We had alovely Christmas also. It is traditional in my family to open mostgifts Christmas eve, then 2-3 gifts and stockings in the morning....we usually have a large unwrappeg gift under the tree Christmas morning, but figured our new home was the best ever 'unwrapped' present we had! The children were happy with their gifts, their grandpa got them each a CD/stereo for theor romm, and Brooklyn got some nice jewelry, my son lots of games, a pillow back rest to play his game boy in comfort, bought my hubby slippers, some cologne, a watch a special foot shapoed bath fizzies to soak his tired aching feet after working and driving all week.....turned the santa hat upside down into a thong for an added bonus present for him!! LOL.......:LMAO He thinks I am crazy...but I think that's why he loves me, he says I am a true "outside the box" thinker.....used to the only thing he could say he loved about me was How I dressed! I was like that's all? Men, he has more to say now...LOL....Christmas was good, our family is blessed...and I am happy, tried to call and wish my moma happy holiday, she answers her phone by listening, won't say a word..so I just said we love you and happy holidays, your grandbabies missed you, hung up, looked over at the candle I have lit for her, and Brookie and I wished her healing hope and happiness. Found Brooklyn sobbong on the stairs layter, but had atalk with her, and she feels better now. Our sweet neighbors gave the kids a candle and each a $10 mall gift certificate...



Lilya...more prayers and love and light for your father, I am so sorry for all you are going through. I know you two are close.

Warm, loving Hugs!!! :redrose

[Juls]

My husband got me a pair of slippers because I am always stealing his. LOL He also got me a $100 gift card to Victoria's Secret, Ooh La La. Do you think that was for me or for him? LOL

Lilya, I am also sorry to hear about your father. Alzhiemers is very diffiucult for the loved ones of the person suffering from it becuase of the extremes in behavior, and wathcing the person slowly deteriorate. For several months I provided respite care for a man who's wife was suffereing from it. Although she was never violent, she was terribly confused most of the time. Even though I was there several days a week, she could never remember who I was and would get quite fearful at times when I would be taking her out becuase she couldn't remember what was going on or why she was out with me.

Tammie, does you mother suffer from agoraphobia, or was she feeling to ill to come out. It's so hard to wathc our children be dissapointed that way. It just breaks our hearts. However, it's so good that now that we are sober we can there for our children in so many more ways than when we were using. I know you are a wonderful and loving mother.

Even though along with the joys of the holidays we still had some pain or suffering, I truly believe that without the suffering we couldn't fully appreciate the joys in life, if that makes any sense.

Juls

[Lilya]

Pain is unavoidable, suffering is optional.

But you´re right, Juls. How would we appreciate the heights if we were never down? LOL

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My mother isn;t agoraphobic, she is always rinning all over the place...she knew this would hurt us....it was her "buttton' so to speak, I know she has a mental illnes, but she also knows there IS help out there, she knows alot about the help available.....I just pray for you and keepba candle lit!

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..oops! pray for her..I swear I cannot ype one correct word this week! LOL............

[Mamabear]

Hi everyone,

Our Christmas was lovely.
My Dad's been a Santa for the last 20 years. He lets his natural gray beard grow beginning in August and my mom made hime a beautiful Santa suit so on the 23rd we ho ho ho-ed around to as many little ones as possible. Since hee is a natural mischief maker all year round, it's quite a lot of fun.
Then Christmas eve we have a wonderful gathering....7 fishes, 14 dishes. I begin cooking early in the a.m. We have anywhere from 14 to 30 people over and feast before Christmas Eve mass. This gathering is a group of friends who have no fa,ily to gather with....plus a few of our relatives. It's a highlight of the year.
On the 25th we have family and turkey and ham then gifts.
Wow. I am very grateful for so many blessings.
My son is very depressed and still is reissting meds and therapy. But he is here and we still have hope. My daughter is getting more sentimental as the years go on. It's quite moving to see.
Hopefully I can continue to "step out of myself" even when the holiday is not here to call me to do so.
((((love))))
Mamabear

[Juls]

Wow Mamabear,

That is really a feast. Seven fishes, does that represent something, or you just like fish. What kinds, and how do you prepare them. The picture of your dad playing Santa is just so wonderful. I know the children just love it, and it must bring so much joy and happiness to them.

I really like the idea of having friends over like that too. It doesn't matter if they are not blood related, family to me is also the people we love and care about and share these special times with is what I think.

I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling with his depression. It must be so hard for you to watch. As mothers and fathers we hurt when our children hurt. We want to make everything right for them, and make the pain go away.

My daughter really enjoyed her christmas and her gifts. She brings so much light into my life. She says things like, "it's not getting presents that is important, it's sharing love and being with family that really counts." This from a seven year old. Sometimes she seems so wise beyond her years.

I know how proud you feel of your own daughter, and even though your son is struggling I know you feel very proud of him also. You are a terrific mother Mamabear. So strong and brave. Learning to let go when your instincts tell you to to try and hold on tight. One thing that is good is that we are clean and sober so we can try to be the best parents we can, and give the best to our children that we can. It doesn't mean we have to be perfect, or that our children have to be perfect. Letting our children be who they are and learn how to make their way in the world, even when they have to bump into walls and fall sometimes takes alot of courage and strength. Many parents are unable to do that.

Lilya, yes I agree that suffering is optional, but you know what I meant. LOL

Tammie, my mother used to play those kinds of "games" too. I will pray for her also that she is able to find peace.

Juls

[Mamabear]

Hi Juls,

The fish dinner is Italian in derivation. It's my mother's tradition( shrimp, crabcakes, calamari, salmon, catfish, herring, and halibut) We combine it w/ my father's Ukrainian tradition. (pieroghi and mushrooms and sauerkraut) and pasta with broccoli and garlic, salad, and asparagus. Mmmmm. Cheesecake and trays of cookies for dessert.
I'm so happy you're enjoying your daughter's Christmas. You're a good mom! She knows what's important
((((love)))))
Mamabear

[Juls]

Hey Mamabear,

I am part Ukranian. I used to love my mother's pieroghis. The only time I ever get any really good ones is when I go to Chicago.

Juls

[Mamabear]

Juls,

These are homemade by a woman in her 80's!!! She charges $4.00 a dozen and feels she is overcharging! They are to die for. If I could, I'd mail you a dozen (tee hee) Two make a meal.
love,
Mamabear

[lobstermom]

I had the best Christmas I've had for a few years- My son is 4, so that's a wonderful age to make Christmas be special! His father in away in rehab for heroin addiction, and though my son was a little sad that his dad couldn't be here, I have to admit that it made it a lot easier on me. Dad was always one to complain if he didn't get big ticket items, and this year, I didn't have to put up with that!! I unwrapped the presents that I had bought and wrapped up for myself, and acted like i was so happy about it (my son thinks I'm nuts!- he said "Mom- you don't buy presents for yourself, that's not the point") And without my a draining the budget this past year with his spending on cigarettes, pot, other drugs and "toys", I had enough to buy what I wanted for my family this year, and not stress about giving crappy gifts. After opening presents at home, we went to my parents house and had another tree there, and then had a wonderful dinner- turkey and all the fixings, and for the first time in a long time, my mother refrained from showing favoritism to one of my sisters and we all got along. It was very nice. For the first time in about 10 years, it was very nice...

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~Lobstermom~ I am so happy you had a pleasant and enjoyable holiday.....prayers being sent for continued peace and happiness.

****Hugs**** Hope 2004 is YOUR best ever!!!!!!

[Lilya]

Lobstermom,

I´m glad too you had a good holiday and I´m sure that turkey was good. You seem to be what we call in France "A person who knows how to live". I had snails and mandarine duck and that´s pretty good, but it´s hard to stop eating.

I´m sorry you have these problems, but you´ve come to the right place. Keep feasting us with your good ideas and sound advice. You´re very welcome.

I have a five year old niece I raise with my brother. I have two daughters who don´t live with me. Five year old is a great age and she gives me so much.

I do have lobsters in my freezer. How about taking them out for New Year´s eve? Hmmm...

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