I don't know what to do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 11
I don't know what to do
I'm in a mess. I'm depressed for no good reason, everything in my life is fine, I'm intelligent, attractive, have lots of friends and family who care about me, have lots of money, etc. I'm not upset about anything, I'm simply miserable. If there were a reason then I could do something to go about fixing the reason, but there is not. I must simply lack adequate seratonin.
My problem is that I don't know how to cure this. If I enjoyed doing anything then I'd do that, but nothing makes me happy. I don't see how doing things that most people do can make people happy, like going out, playing sport, dancing, playing computer/video games, or even sex. They seem pointless, and more to the point, do not make me happy or less bored. Nothing gets rid of the depression. Well actually, one thing alone has worked, and that's taking ecstacy. It actually makes me feel happy, and that's all that I want from life. But I know that it will probably be harmful to me, and I don't want to **** myself up any further. The problem is, it seems to me as if there is nothing else.
Obviously if there is no other possible way for me to be happy then I will continue taking drugs, although this really isn't something I want to do, it is only a last resort. But I really need something else, if it exists, that could make me happy and help me cope. I guess my problem is that I'm making myself so sick with drug use. I don't know anyone else (who isn't bullemic) who throws up on a daily basis from being utterly stupid and drinking too much or taking other drugs. I'm scared that I'll kill myself one day unintentionally by taking something I shouldn't. But it is still much better than being sober and depressed. Considering drugs is sort of my problem, I actually came here because of the alcohol and narcotics forums and not for depression, but those forums seem to be about staying sober, which I can do very easily. Physically I'm not addicted to anything, so I can stop taking drugs whenever I want to, however taking drugs and risking death is a better option than being constantly depressed.
Can anyone tell me what to do? I'm looking for another alternative to drugs to feel happy, but I cannot find one. I don't want to die on account of my own stupidity.
Thank you.
My problem is that I don't know how to cure this. If I enjoyed doing anything then I'd do that, but nothing makes me happy. I don't see how doing things that most people do can make people happy, like going out, playing sport, dancing, playing computer/video games, or even sex. They seem pointless, and more to the point, do not make me happy or less bored. Nothing gets rid of the depression. Well actually, one thing alone has worked, and that's taking ecstacy. It actually makes me feel happy, and that's all that I want from life. But I know that it will probably be harmful to me, and I don't want to **** myself up any further. The problem is, it seems to me as if there is nothing else.
Obviously if there is no other possible way for me to be happy then I will continue taking drugs, although this really isn't something I want to do, it is only a last resort. But I really need something else, if it exists, that could make me happy and help me cope. I guess my problem is that I'm making myself so sick with drug use. I don't know anyone else (who isn't bullemic) who throws up on a daily basis from being utterly stupid and drinking too much or taking other drugs. I'm scared that I'll kill myself one day unintentionally by taking something I shouldn't. But it is still much better than being sober and depressed. Considering drugs is sort of my problem, I actually came here because of the alcohol and narcotics forums and not for depression, but those forums seem to be about staying sober, which I can do very easily. Physically I'm not addicted to anything, so I can stop taking drugs whenever I want to, however taking drugs and risking death is a better option than being constantly depressed.
Can anyone tell me what to do? I'm looking for another alternative to drugs to feel happy, but I cannot find one. I don't want to die on account of my own stupidity.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Katey and welcome to the boards ! You will find great support here , and some wonderful people !
For myself , I am an Alcoholic , but I am also a nurse , and have done my Psych training ,as well, and I wonder if you have consulted your doctor re your depression? if you have , have you explained to him , exactly as you have written here , how you feel?
What you are describing , are pretty textbook symptoms, he may be able to prescribe you some legitimate meds , which would probably help you a lot
anyway , hang around here , and you will be supported !~ believe me
HUGXXX from OZ
Lee
For myself , I am an Alcoholic , but I am also a nurse , and have done my Psych training ,as well, and I wonder if you have consulted your doctor re your depression? if you have , have you explained to him , exactly as you have written here , how you feel?
What you are describing , are pretty textbook symptoms, he may be able to prescribe you some legitimate meds , which would probably help you a lot
anyway , hang around here , and you will be supported !~ believe me
HUGXXX from OZ
Lee
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 104
Katey,
I was in your shoes 4 years ago, I really had nothing to be depressed about but was miserable, suicidal.
GO TO A DOCTOR! They do make medicines for what you are experiencing.
I made the mistake of leaning on alcohol, it made my depression even worse. Then I hit a few other drugs. Started losing my life.
Fix yourself before you lose friends, family, money, job......
Don't wait.
I was in your shoes 4 years ago, I really had nothing to be depressed about but was miserable, suicidal.
GO TO A DOCTOR! They do make medicines for what you are experiencing.
I made the mistake of leaning on alcohol, it made my depression even worse. Then I hit a few other drugs. Started losing my life.
Fix yourself before you lose friends, family, money, job......
Don't wait.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 11
Thank you, I have not gone to a doctor yet, but I might do. I have had friends who have done so and have been on different meds for years and have not found one that does them any good. Are there actually prescription drugs that can make you feel normal or happy? How much does the (Australian) government subsidise them? And do I need a medicare card?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Same story here.A black pit of depression for no apparent reason at all.Having every reason to be happy and being incapable of feeling it.It seems to be a fairly simple case of unbalanced brain chemistry.My doctor prescribed Zoloft for me,but there are many others which all do the same basic thing.It restores the balance.
With modern antidepressants there is no instant high,no unrealistic euphoria,and no crash.It takes time for them to reach the full effective level in your system.Between a few days and a few weeks.In my case,the terrible despair began to lift within the first few days.I felt relief and hope.In a few weeks I felt fine.
The pills do NOT prevent me from feeling anxiety,sadness,or any other ordinary emotion.What they do is allow me to feel the full range of emotion without the all consuming darkness and misery.I can cope with that.I can enjoy life as others do.
I'd strongly suggest seeing your doctor.You have a great chance of being able to move beyond this,and have a good life.
Keep posting and let us know how it goes.
phoenix
With modern antidepressants there is no instant high,no unrealistic euphoria,and no crash.It takes time for them to reach the full effective level in your system.Between a few days and a few weeks.In my case,the terrible despair began to lift within the first few days.I felt relief and hope.In a few weeks I felt fine.
The pills do NOT prevent me from feeling anxiety,sadness,or any other ordinary emotion.What they do is allow me to feel the full range of emotion without the all consuming darkness and misery.I can cope with that.I can enjoy life as others do.
I'd strongly suggest seeing your doctor.You have a great chance of being able to move beyond this,and have a good life.
Keep posting and let us know how it goes.
phoenix
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Katey , ( silly me , just realised you are in OZ too)
Katey some of the drugs you would probably be prescribed , are on the PBS, ie subsidised , some not , you could discuss this with your GP. But you need to know, that it may take a bit of trial and error to find the one most suitable to you . Many take 21 days to reach their full potential, but it is well worth it .
It is also very important that you tell him, that you feel depressedfor no particular reason.
Good Luck girl, will be waiting to see how you go!
LUV
Lee
Katey some of the drugs you would probably be prescribed , are on the PBS, ie subsidised , some not , you could discuss this with your GP. But you need to know, that it may take a bit of trial and error to find the one most suitable to you . Many take 21 days to reach their full potential, but it is well worth it .
It is also very important that you tell him, that you feel depressedfor no particular reason.
Good Luck girl, will be waiting to see how you go!
LUV
Lee
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi katey
gday to you , mine name is kath and i am also from aus, in fact i am in perth, where are you. you can send that infor to me in a private message if you wish, do you know how to use private messages?
i too, like most of us here, struggle with depression and some form of addiction, be it alcohol, pills etc.
sometimes it is hard to work out why you feel like crap when you also know yo have a lot going for you. it is odd that it doesnt add up isnt it.
that is why drs or psychologists are worth talking to, yu can tell them stuff that you might not want to tell family and friends etc. you can maintain some privacy just like being here. i love this place i am in control of what i tell to whom etc and i have the opportunity to learn from the experiencs of so many others. the people are great and very supportive too.
keep wrting here, and we can get you some ideas and some help. there is a site in aus called depression net. look it up on google, it is a bit like this and covers all aspects of depression or head health issues. it might be worth looking at. however the difference i found between this site and the other one is that on here people are wanting to reach out for help, on the other site that happens too but some people just get into whose story is worse than others if you know what i mean. the depression site also has access to 24 hour moderators/counsellors as well.
let me know where you are and if you are in perth i might be able to link you up with some local services etc,
but most of all keep in touch
hugs and congrats on taking the first step of telling your story - you are very brave!
kath
i too, like most of us here, struggle with depression and some form of addiction, be it alcohol, pills etc.
sometimes it is hard to work out why you feel like crap when you also know yo have a lot going for you. it is odd that it doesnt add up isnt it.
that is why drs or psychologists are worth talking to, yu can tell them stuff that you might not want to tell family and friends etc. you can maintain some privacy just like being here. i love this place i am in control of what i tell to whom etc and i have the opportunity to learn from the experiencs of so many others. the people are great and very supportive too.
keep wrting here, and we can get you some ideas and some help. there is a site in aus called depression net. look it up on google, it is a bit like this and covers all aspects of depression or head health issues. it might be worth looking at. however the difference i found between this site and the other one is that on here people are wanting to reach out for help, on the other site that happens too but some people just get into whose story is worse than others if you know what i mean. the depression site also has access to 24 hour moderators/counsellors as well.
let me know where you are and if you are in perth i might be able to link you up with some local services etc,
but most of all keep in touch
hugs and congrats on taking the first step of telling your story - you are very brave!
kath
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
howdy katey
well as i said to lee when i first met her , you live in melbourne what do you expect hahaha.
maybe you guys can hook up on the net etc, for some support. lee is very good at supporting people - legend
so the aussie count so far is 2 = melbourne, 2= perth, 2 = brizzy.
now that makes sense, nothing happens in SA, NT doesnt really exist it is just the north part of SA, but dont tell them that, NSW dont think they are part of australia, and tasmania always gets left of the map so i dont think they count anyway haha
ok footy for you melbournites, who did you go for in the final!!!
cheers
kath
maybe you guys can hook up on the net etc, for some support. lee is very good at supporting people - legend
so the aussie count so far is 2 = melbourne, 2= perth, 2 = brizzy.
now that makes sense, nothing happens in SA, NT doesnt really exist it is just the north part of SA, but dont tell them that, NSW dont think they are part of australia, and tasmania always gets left of the map so i dont think they count anyway haha
ok footy for you melbournites, who did you go for in the final!!!
cheers
kath
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 11
I sort of barrack for Carlton, but I don't actually watch the games or find out who won afterwards, so it doesn't really work. Hm... barracking for Carlton probably doesn't help with depression :p
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
football
oh you poor things haha
carton, did they get the spoon this year again. my mate barracks for carlton so i can barrack for them on principle. an yep katey going for carlton probably doesnt make you feel any better haha
pies?, arent they the guys who lost the final AGAIN hahaha. we were going for birzzy cause we wanted to see mick malthouse cry again haha
well over here of course i go for eagles, but have a soft spot for dockers. at the last eagles dockers derby we had a party at our place with all the neighbours etc and cause we live near docker land most of the people were dockers supporters haha. anyway we hired a digital tv screen and watched it while having a barbie. we had the best night, and every time dockers got a goal i told them to leave my house. of course they ignored me!
if i have to follow a melbourne team i go for essendon (now i am ducking) or maybe the roos haha.
gee i cant wait for footy season to come back we will have a lot of fun wont we haha
cheers
kath
carton, did they get the spoon this year again. my mate barracks for carlton so i can barrack for them on principle. an yep katey going for carlton probably doesnt make you feel any better haha
pies?, arent they the guys who lost the final AGAIN hahaha. we were going for birzzy cause we wanted to see mick malthouse cry again haha
well over here of course i go for eagles, but have a soft spot for dockers. at the last eagles dockers derby we had a party at our place with all the neighbours etc and cause we live near docker land most of the people were dockers supporters haha. anyway we hired a digital tv screen and watched it while having a barbie. we had the best night, and every time dockers got a goal i told them to leave my house. of course they ignored me!
if i have to follow a melbourne team i go for essendon (now i am ducking) or maybe the roos haha.
gee i cant wait for footy season to come back we will have a lot of fun wont we haha
cheers
kath
Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: California, USA
Posts: 1,095
katey,
Welcome to the forum. As you can see you have alot of people from Oz pulling for you. Maybe we should have a chat just for the crowd from Oz. LOL
I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. That kind of depression is hard because you don't know why your feeling that way, and it is so frustrating when there doesn't seem to be a obvious reason. I have suffered from depression of and on for alot of my life.
The recommendation to get checked out by the doc is a good place to start. Reaching out here and talking about it is good also. I hope you start to feel better soon.
Let us know how you are doing.
Juls
Welcome to the forum. As you can see you have alot of people from Oz pulling for you. Maybe we should have a chat just for the crowd from Oz. LOL
I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. That kind of depression is hard because you don't know why your feeling that way, and it is so frustrating when there doesn't seem to be a obvious reason. I have suffered from depression of and on for alot of my life.
The recommendation to get checked out by the doc is a good place to start. Reaching out here and talking about it is good also. I hope you start to feel better soon.
Let us know how you are doing.
Juls
What is footy season?
((hugs)) Bonni
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
BONNI!!!!!!!!!
your education has been sadly neglected ! ha Ha
footy season is football season, and specificly relates to Aussie Rules Football, which is of course , from Melbourne , and we are best at it , but those WA people heard about it and had to copy us , but they are just learninng !
Rugby League and Rugby Union , and Soccer are also played over here , but they are not " proper " footy ha Ha
Bonni, a team called Collingwood is THE best team, but there are other minor ones !
Season is from April to September , and some very strange phenomenan are apparent at that time ! lol
HUGXX
Lee ps thought I would get in first , before Kath gave you erroneous info ha Ha
your education has been sadly neglected ! ha Ha footy season is football season, and specificly relates to Aussie Rules Football, which is of course , from Melbourne , and we are best at it , but those WA people heard about it and had to copy us , but they are just learninng !
Rugby League and Rugby Union , and Soccer are also played over here , but they are not " proper " footy ha Ha
Bonni, a team called Collingwood is THE best team, but there are other minor ones !
Season is from April to September , and some very strange phenomenan are apparent at that time ! lol
HUGXX
Lee ps thought I would get in first , before Kath gave you erroneous info ha Ha
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi bonnie
me give erroneous info, oh dear me thinks that lee is not as recovered as she thinks she is haha, seems she is still dilusional hahahah
now some things lee did get correct is that football is called australian rules and people in melbourne believe they invented it. however the truth is that the first games of football were in fact played here in western australia. haha. now up until about 10 years ago each state just played their teams within the own states, then it went national, so of course most states have their own teams, with some left over teams from melbourne such as carlton and collingwood, just to make up the numbers i guess.
now in west australian we have two teams, the eagles and the dockers. the eagles are supported by the chardony set, very posh and the dockers are based in our port town full of warfies and others of that ilk hahaha
now lee is quite correct in saying that collingwood is a good team but they are not the best, they have lost the national grand finals for the past two years haha, they were beaten by queensland, which is almost unheard of ahaha
the eagles and dockers play well, and eages did win the grandfinal in 1992 and another time i think, but they have only been in the competition for about 10 years, which isnt bad, i think collingwood have been a team for about 324 years (exageration) and i cant remember the last time they won the ground final, lee was in 1962 or something haha
bonnie, because i am more computer literate and obviously know more about football than lee i have attached a site on aussie rules, which identifies all the teams etc.
http://afl.com.au/
the major difference is between our game and say grid iron is that our MEN do not wear any padding, the game is fast and quite dangerous.
one final comment, even though collingwood and carlton have been around for a longer time, we have the best looking blokes haha which is of course why women watch football.
as you can see there is much friendly banter between the team supporters especially between the west (goodies) and baddies (east) hahaha
oh i cant wait till the season starts again hahahahahaha
kath
me give erroneous info, oh dear me thinks that lee is not as recovered as she thinks she is haha, seems she is still dilusional hahahah
now some things lee did get correct is that football is called australian rules and people in melbourne believe they invented it. however the truth is that the first games of football were in fact played here in western australia. haha. now up until about 10 years ago each state just played their teams within the own states, then it went national, so of course most states have their own teams, with some left over teams from melbourne such as carlton and collingwood, just to make up the numbers i guess.
now in west australian we have two teams, the eagles and the dockers. the eagles are supported by the chardony set, very posh and the dockers are based in our port town full of warfies and others of that ilk hahaha
now lee is quite correct in saying that collingwood is a good team but they are not the best, they have lost the national grand finals for the past two years haha, they were beaten by queensland, which is almost unheard of ahaha
the eagles and dockers play well, and eages did win the grandfinal in 1992 and another time i think, but they have only been in the competition for about 10 years, which isnt bad, i think collingwood have been a team for about 324 years (exageration) and i cant remember the last time they won the ground final, lee was in 1962 or something haha
bonnie, because i am more computer literate and obviously know more about football than lee i have attached a site on aussie rules, which identifies all the teams etc.
http://afl.com.au/
the major difference is between our game and say grid iron is that our MEN do not wear any padding, the game is fast and quite dangerous.
one final comment, even though collingwood and carlton have been around for a longer time, we have the best looking blokes haha which is of course why women watch football.
as you can see there is much friendly banter between the team supporters especially between the west (goodies) and baddies (east) hahaha
oh i cant wait till the season starts again hahahahahaha
kath
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Ha Ha ! by " our port " town, I take it you mean that revamped collection of piers just north of perth, which exhibits large brollies , and street dinning ha ha !You know Bonni, they even have their own soecial doctor up there ! thats the kind of place it is nudge nudge wink wink ha ha !
Oh! Katey where are you , I am holding this end of the boat up girl!lol
<<<<<<<< places bow of boat gently on sand , lol and must off to bed , its OK for you Kath, I am 3 hrs older than you Ha Ha
went to a great meeting tonite , had my cheese and onion sandwich, ( couldn't find the sarines and mustaed sauce ) Thank my HP lol so i am off to bed g/f s
Niters all
bonni, Katey , and Kath
HUGXXX
Lee
Oh! Katey where are you , I am holding this end of the boat up girl!lol
<<<<<<<< places bow of boat gently on sand , lol and must off to bed , its OK for you Kath, I am 3 hrs older than you Ha Ha
went to a great meeting tonite , had my cheese and onion sandwich, ( couldn't find the sarines and mustaed sauce ) Thank my HP lol so i am off to bed g/f s
Niters all
bonni, Katey , and Kath
HUGXXX
Lee
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
you guys are incorrigible haha
firstly the port is in the south and is called fremantle, we one the america's cup for australia there haha. the doctor is called the fremantle doctor which is the sea breeze that comes in late in the after noon, on hot sunny days.
bonnie melbourne people wouldnt know about hot sunny days, cause it is always raining there. mind you it means they have the best shopping and art centres in australia, cause they ahve to stay out of hte rain all the time hahaha
night you guys, it is late, i have just watched ozzie idol, go guy.
and now i must iron and get ready for work tomorrow - yuck
katey stay with us, we promise to stop being so silly soon
hugs to you
kath
firstly the port is in the south and is called fremantle, we one the america's cup for australia there haha. the doctor is called the fremantle doctor which is the sea breeze that comes in late in the after noon, on hot sunny days.
bonnie melbourne people wouldnt know about hot sunny days, cause it is always raining there. mind you it means they have the best shopping and art centres in australia, cause they ahve to stay out of hte rain all the time hahaha
night you guys, it is late, i have just watched ozzie idol, go guy.
and now i must iron and get ready for work tomorrow - yuck
katey stay with us, we promise to stop being so silly soon
hugs to you
kath
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