I have done it!!! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

2stop · 11-09-2003, 12:38 PM

I have actually called and talked to a person in NA..and they are going to pick me up tonight at about 7pm I think..I call the guy back at 5pm...I am actually doing something instead of promising myself and others and letting myself down..I have done it...I became so depressed and crazy last night i was afraid I would jump in front of a moving vehicle..Oh no!! I will not surrender to this disease..It can kick my a**...It can't stop me from taking another path in life...I choose..It loses!!! period, end of discussion..
Also, my mother moved out today...my kidsa re happier and I feel relieved yet guilty too. You guys know that messed up family dynamics stuff..anyways..I am taking charge now...thanks for always encouraging me no matter how many times I fall.

2stop · 11-09-2003, 01:21 PM

Lilya..just wanted to share with you that your quote "use adversity" has really helped me in making it to my meeting tonight..In fact last night it came to me as I was sitting and brewing in my crap use adversity..GET UP AND DO SOMETHING..over and over it came to me to use this pain and choose to do something about it...it was like a supernatural power urging me onward. I like how simple and brief that quote of yours is..yet so powerful and so right on the money....

ksos · 11-09-2003, 01:35 PM

An excellent step and one of the hardest for all of us to do. That phone call, walking up the steps to the meeting...Bless You

Ksos

2stop · 11-09-2003, 01:39 PM

Thanks Ksos. I have to call the guy back at 5pm....and am waiting eagerly to open that car door and then walk into a meeting. I have to take my kids,, so I feel like I am a bother..but I would rather be alive and annoying than dead...and gone from my kids forever. I am very nervous at the moment. I have alot of trouble leaving the house anyways..have spent months before secluded and alone..but the thing I am finally getting no matter what I am feeling, or how bad..I do have a choice...only I can make that choice and follow through.....and if I want it bad enough I have to go get it, so that's what I am going to do.
(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

ksos · 11-09-2003, 01:55 PM

Tammie...

One of things that makes my recovery move forward is reading your posts on how you are making the steps, describing the feelings behind these steps, and I guess, keeping it so real. I can actually feel that anxiety that you write about leaving the house. You're nearly one hour from making a huge move in the right direction and your children are there like a beacon of hope.

I hardly think that anyone at that meeting is going to think that you are annoying if your children are with you. You are making a choice to be in a sober network today.

I know what it's like to be afraid to leave one's home. I was agoraphobic for a year and couldn't even walk my dogs up and down the street, despite being a pretty big guy. I am really proud of you and as a fellow addict, you have all of my support...

Ksos

Justme57 · 11-09-2003, 01:57 PM

Morning Tammie
I know what you mean about leaving the house , I was the same for the last 6 months . I too was picked up for my first meeting, but I felt OK and safe , once I was in the car , you will be fine love !

You will be welcomed with open arms at the meeting , cant wait to see how you go

Prayers and hugs to you g/f
Lee

2stop · 11-09-2003, 02:03 PM

You guys make me cry! You are so supportive..you are all my angels and I am the luckiest girl in the world right now!

Lilya · 11-09-2003, 02:17 PM

Tammie, this is great news!

Good for you. I thought you might do something like that because this thing with your Mom was so stressful. A big step and you have my admiration. Tell us how it went and may the Strenght be with you.

You are such a special person and you have power.

I am also going to an ACA meeting because of tensions with my siblings which I posted in the Relationship forum.

Quote:

Use adversity

2stop · 11-09-2003, 02:20 PM

Thank you Lilya, so much. I hope your meeting goes well for you and that you have alot of comfort and support there.
(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

2stop · 11-09-2003, 02:38 PM

I called back and reminded the guy just like he said too..he sadi you're still coming right? I said you bet I am!!!!! I am actually following directions!!!! Who'd a thunk it??LOL!!

Juls · 11-09-2003, 04:39 PM

Tammie,

that is fantastic, taking that step. It get's easier too. Just keep your mind and heart open and you will do fine. I remember my first meeting, I was so scared and nervous. It was very hard for me to sit through an entire meeting, but I just kept telling myself that everything was going to be fine, that I would be fine. After a bit, I was o.k.

The worst thing is to give in to our anxieties and let them keep us from doing the things we want to do.

Juls

2stop · 11-09-2003, 07:05 PM

I just got back!! It went great..met a girl said she will take me to a meeting tomorrow too. I am just absorbing it all right now....

Thanks so much for encouraging me!!

2stop · 11-09-2003, 07:57 PM

I left my NA book in the girls car with the numbers in it! i hope the guy that took me has her number..man, I go and get the numbers then lose them already!!! It was so good to be in that meeting....I was nervous, but relieved ya know..it is really difficult for me to be anywhere but in my house..but at the same time I am more hopeful and encouraged! My kids were well-behaved and that relieved my mind alot. They were wishing everyone a good night after the meeting! Felt good to receive compliments on my kids...felt like maybe I haven't screwed them up too bad ya know...okay..I will continue to digest this all....and I hope everyone sleeps really well tonight.

**Sprinkles of stardust coming your way**

Justme57 · 11-09-2003, 08:16 PM

Oh! Tammie! I am sooo pleased for you !
Bet you sleep well tonite Ha Ha

Just keep on keeping on , one day at a time
LUV ya
lee

ksos · 11-10-2003, 05:58 AM

Tammie...

Trust me. You'll get the book back

It's really nerve-wracking to go to your first meeting and you did it! Keep it going...

Ksos

2stop · 11-10-2003, 11:23 AM

I am receiving so many blessings today! Just got a call, a family friend is going to sell us a1988 Toyota Camry for $300. It runs well and everything! It was getting quite serious in our transportation dept. With my mom not being helpful and our pickup broke down...I just said HP help me...and he has!!! I am trying to9 get my husband on the phone right now..he will be so excited! I got a message from the company that I helped my husband get hooked up with and they sounded so positive and so interested in my husband....Could it be I am really learning how to live? I am overwhelmed with gratitude right now...could mustering up the courage to make it to only one meeting so far bring so many blessings? I have a ride to another one tonight..this is quite an experience for me...I am almost overwhelmed...

Justme57 · 11-10-2003, 01:16 PM

Whoooooooooo! Tammie! that is FANTASTIC news for you !
Enjoy your meeting tonite , and come share with us after ! lol LUV
Lee

Juls · 11-10-2003, 02:59 PM

Tammie,

It is so incredible when our lives start working for us. When it started for me I couldn't believe it. I was thinking, "oh, this will not last long, something bad is bound to happen." Now I don't think of it as something "bad" happening, but something challenging. It is not only that our lives are changing, but more importantly our "attitudes" towards things.

Enjoy this phase. Challenging things will happen, but you will be so much more equipped to handle them.

Juls

Mamabear · 11-11-2003, 12:18 PM

Hey hey Tammie,

I'm so proud of you!!!!
What inspires me most about you is that you turn to your higher power then take the responsibility to act in faith. ((((You're the best!!!))))
Mamabear
ps. My computer croaked. It's down and out (this is a friend's) so I won't be around until it's fixed. When I can , I'll take a peek to see how you are all doing.

11-09-2003, 12:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	I have done it!!! I have actually called and talked to a person in NA..and they are going to pick me up tonight at about 7pm I think..I call the guy back at 5pm...I am actually doing something instead of promising myself and others and letting myself down..I have done it...I became so depressed and crazy last night i was afraid I would jump in front of a moving vehicle..Oh no!! I will not surrender to this disease..It can kick my a**...It can't stop me from taking another path in life...I choose..It loses!!! period, end of discussion.. Also, my mother moved out today...my kidsa re happier and I feel relieved yet guilty too. You guys know that messed up family dynamics stuff..anyways..I am taking charge now...thanks for always encouraging me no matter how many times I fall. __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 01:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	Lilya..just wanted to share with you that your quote "use adversity" has really helped me in making it to my meeting tonight..In fact last night it came to me as I was sitting and brewing in my crap use adversity..GET UP AND DO SOMETHING..over and over it came to me to use this pain and choose to do something about it...it was like a supernatural power urging me onward. I like how simple and brief that quote of yours is..yet so powerful and so right on the money.... __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 01:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	Thanks Ksos. I have to call the guy back at 5pm....and am waiting eagerly to open that car door and then walk into a meeting. I have to take my kids,, so I feel like I am a bother..but I would rather be alive and annoying than dead...and gone from my kids forever. I am very nervous at the moment. I have alot of trouble leaving the house anyways..have spent months before secluded and alone..but the thing I am finally getting no matter what I am feeling, or how bad..I do have a choice...only I can make that choice and follow through.....and if I want it bad enough I have to go get it, so that's what I am going to do. (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 01:57 PM	#6 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,976 Blog Entries: 7	Morning Tammie I know what you mean about leaving the house , I was the same for the last 6 months . I too was picked up for my first meeting, but I felt OK and safe , once I was in the car , you will be fine love ! You will be welcomed with open arms at the meeting , cant wait to see how you go Prayers and hugs to you g/f Lee __________________

11-09-2003, 02:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	You guys make me cry! You are so supportive..you are all my angels and I am the luckiest girl in the world right now! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 01:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
ksos Waiting For Engines Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 545	An excellent step and one of the hardest for all of us to do. That phone call, walking up the steps to the meeting...Bless You Ksos

11-09-2003, 01:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
ksos Waiting For Engines Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 545	Tammie... One of things that makes my recovery move forward is reading your posts on how you are making the steps, describing the feelings behind these steps, and I guess, keeping it so real. I can actually feel that anxiety that you write about leaving the house. You're nearly one hour from making a huge move in the right direction and your children are there like a beacon of hope. I hardly think that anyone at that meeting is going to think that you are annoying if your children are with you. You are making a choice to be in a sober network today. I know what it's like to be afraid to leave one's home. I was agoraphobic for a year and couldn't even walk my dogs up and down the street, despite being a pretty big guy. I am really proud of you and as a fellow addict, you have all of my support... Ksos

11-09-2003, 02:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	Thank you Lilya, so much. I hope your meeting goes well for you and that you have alot of comfort and support there. (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 02:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	I called back and reminded the guy just like he said too..he sadi you're still coming right? I said you bet I am!!!!! I am actually following directions!!!! Who'd a thunk it??LOL!! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 04:39 PM	#11 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,095	Tammie, that is fantastic, taking that step. It get's easier too. Just keep your mind and heart open and you will do fine. I remember my first meeting, I was so scared and nervous. It was very hard for me to sit through an entire meeting, but I just kept telling myself that everything was going to be fine, that I would be fine. After a bit, I was o.k. The worst thing is to give in to our anxieties and let them keep us from doing the things we want to do. Juls __________________ Think World Peace

11-09-2003, 07:05 PM	#12 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	I just got back!! It went great..met a girl said she will take me to a meeting tomorrow too. I am just absorbing it all right now.... Thanks so much for encouraging me!! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 07:57 PM	#13 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	I left my NA book in the girls car with the numbers in it! i hope the guy that took me has her number..man, I go and get the numbers then lose them already!!! It was so good to be in that meeting....I was nervous, but relieved ya know..it is really difficult for me to be anywhere but in my house..but at the same time I am more hopeful and encouraged! My kids were well-behaved and that relieved my mind alot. They were wishing everyone a good night after the meeting! Felt good to receive compliments on my kids...felt like maybe I haven't screwed them up too bad ya know...okay..I will continue to digest this all....and I hope everyone sleeps really well tonight. Sprinkles of stardust coming your way __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

11-09-2003, 08:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,976 Blog Entries: 7	Oh! Tammie! I am sooo pleased for you ! Bet you sleep well tonite Ha Ha Just keep on keeping on , one day at a time LUV ya lee __________________

11-10-2003, 05:58 AM	#15 (permalink)
ksos Waiting For Engines Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 545	Tammie... Trust me. You'll get the book back It's really nerve-wracking to go to your first meeting and you did it! Keep it going... Ksos

11-10-2003, 11:23 AM	#16 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	I am receiving so many blessings today! Just got a call, a family friend is going to sell us a1988 Toyota Camry for $300. It runs well and everything! It was getting quite serious in our transportation dept. With my mom not being helpful and our pickup broke down...I just said HP help me...and he has!!! I am trying to9 get my husband on the phone right now..he will be so excited! I got a message from the company that I helped my husband get hooked up with and they sounded so positive and so interested in my husband....Could it be I am really learning how to live? I am overwhelmed with gratitude right now...could mustering up the courage to make it to only one meeting so far bring so many blessings? I have a ride to another one tonight..this is quite an experience for me...I am almost overwhelmed... __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

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11-10-2003, 01:16 PM	#17 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,976 Blog Entries: 7	Whoooooooooo! Tammie! that is FANTASTIC news for you ! Enjoy your meeting tonite , and come share with us after ! lol LUV Lee __________________

11-10-2003, 02:59 PM	#18 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,095	Tammie, It is so incredible when our lives start working for us. When it started for me I couldn't believe it. I was thinking, "oh, this will not last long, something bad is bound to happen." Now I don't think of it as something "bad" happening, but something challenging. It is not only that our lives are changing, but more importantly our "attitudes" towards things. Enjoy this phase. Challenging things will happen, but you will be so much more equipped to handle them. Juls __________________ Think World Peace

11-11-2003, 12:18 PM	#19 (permalink)
Mamabear Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: phila, pa Posts: 231	Hey hey Tammie, I'm so proud of you!!!! What inspires me most about you is that you turn to your higher power then take the responsibility to act in faith. ((((You're the best!!!)))) Mamabear ps. My computer croaked. It's down and out (this is a friend's) so I won't be around until it's fixed. When I can , I'll take a peek to see how you are all doing. __________________ Mamabear

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