BPD and Addiction: How do you recover when you just don't care?
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BPD and Addiction: How do you recover when you just don't care?
I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and a big way it manifests is by an attitude of "F$#@ it, I don't care anymore." Obviously I really do care, or I wouldn't be posting. But sometimes I get in these moods where I just stop caring about anything in my life-- whether I recover, whether I have my husband and my son, whether I live or die-- this has caused me to relapse frequently, including a couple of overdoses. Is there any way to get around this feeling? I am on medication, and it does help, but I still get in these slumps where I just stop caring about my life. All I want to do is get high. If I don't stay clean I am going to lose everything. Help!
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Working closely with a therapist experienced with BPD can be a huge help. It isn't easy and it takes time, but if you are willing to do the hard work, it can help tremendously. I don't know if you are taking any medication, but if so, perhaps they need some tweaking. If you aren't, then perhaps you should be.
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suki, I am on medication, and it is helping, but I think it might need tweaking. I am always afraid to start a new medication since I tend to have a lot of side effects and I am finally not having side effects from the ones I am on.
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Originally Posted by Onewithwings 
suki, I am on medication, and it is helping, but I think it might need tweaking. I am always afraid to start a new medication since I tend to have a lot of side effects and I am finally not having side effects from the ones I am on.
Thanks!
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I am on effexor and invega. The invega is an antipsychotic/mood stabilizer, and I find that it does help me with manic episodes with hardly any side effects, I definitely recommend it if she is interested.
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Originally Posted by Onewithwings
I am on effexor and invega. The invega is an antipsychotic/mood stabilizer, and I find that it does help me with manic episodes with hardly any side effects, I definitely recommend it if she is interested.
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In my experience (BPD) sufferer, there needs to be a level of discipline that reminds us of what we are working for through any major mood swings. I know about as much as any BPD sufferer that discipline is especially hard to have with this disorder, but it is important to work for it. Talk to your therapists and never refuse to take your meds.
I have found things to be *much* easier when not denying my emotions or even fighting them. When I allow myself to be angry or irritable without making things hell-on-earth for the people around me, I find that my urge to abuse drugs is far less likely because I don't need to make an effort to cover up or dismiss anything.
When I get so angry that I can't even think straight, I usually go in my room and play games or take it out on something non-human. Or, if someone insists on lending an ear, I might be very honest and say "I'm really ticked off right now". Since my family knows I have BPD, they are usually willing to hear me out, expecting that I don't act violently towards them.
Ask the guys and gals around here; I made a thread titled "I'm ticked off" regarding the frustration of having insomnia and my inability to use sleep aids.
I am honestly tired of this social trend of acting like nothing is wrong even if there is. Of course I think each person needs to do what is possible to handle emotions in healthy ways, but it is so detrimental to the well-being of everyone to live with the notion that showing emotion is bad.
Another thing I feel the need to say is that as a BPD sufferer, your emotions *will* try to hold you hostage and distract you from the gift of living. I cannot stress any more the important of self-talk and learning how to handle those negative voices without dismissing your feelings. Please work on this!
Good luck
I have found things to be *much* easier when not denying my emotions or even fighting them. When I allow myself to be angry or irritable without making things hell-on-earth for the people around me, I find that my urge to abuse drugs is far less likely because I don't need to make an effort to cover up or dismiss anything.
When I get so angry that I can't even think straight, I usually go in my room and play games or take it out on something non-human. Or, if someone insists on lending an ear, I might be very honest and say "I'm really ticked off right now". Since my family knows I have BPD, they are usually willing to hear me out, expecting that I don't act violently towards them.
Ask the guys and gals around here; I made a thread titled "I'm ticked off" regarding the frustration of having insomnia and my inability to use sleep aids.
I am honestly tired of this social trend of acting like nothing is wrong even if there is. Of course I think each person needs to do what is possible to handle emotions in healthy ways, but it is so detrimental to the well-being of everyone to live with the notion that showing emotion is bad.
Another thing I feel the need to say is that as a BPD sufferer, your emotions *will* try to hold you hostage and distract you from the gift of living. I cannot stress any more the important of self-talk and learning how to handle those negative voices without dismissing your feelings. Please work on this!
Good luck
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Meds for BPD? Please tell me more!
My psychiatrist tells me that there are no meds for BPD, and so does the literature on the subject.
I'd be grateful if you could share with me, by PM if you like, what meds are helpful.
My psychiatrist tells me that there are no meds for BPD, and so does the literature on the subject.
I'd be grateful if you could share with me, by PM if you like, what meds are helpful.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ireland
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Hi, re-read the thread, you've already answered the question thanks.
I'm on Cymbalta for clinical depression, molipaxin for anxiety and clinical depression and fluanxol for mood.
They've had little or no effect on either depression or mood.
I'm on Cymbalta for clinical depression, molipaxin for anxiety and clinical depression and fluanxol for mood.
They've had little or no effect on either depression or mood.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,870
Working closely with a therapist experienced with BPD can be a huge help. It isn't easy and it takes time, but if you are willing to do the hard work, it can help tremendously.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Can
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Originally Posted by insidejob
Hi, re-read the thread, you've already answered the question thanks.
I'm on Cymbalta for clinical depression, molipaxin for anxiety and clinical depression and fluanxol for mood.
They've had little or no effect on either depression or mood.
I'm on Cymbalta for clinical depression, molipaxin for anxiety and clinical depression and fluanxol for mood.
They've had little or no effect on either depression or mood.
There are a number of mood stabilizers on the market. The doctor recommended that my wife go on a medication called Depakote, which seems to go under different names depending on the country. Here's a link to a psychiatrist's site that has a table of a bunch of them. Don't know if the guy is any good or not.
My wife didn't want to go on Depakote because in her words she didn't want to turn into a "zombie barbie". I don't know if that's a common side effect but weight gain is fairly common and she could stand to lose a few pounds. Maybe that was part of her reasoning.
mood stabilizers for bipolar disorder
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The mood stabilizer I am on is actually an antipsychotic, often used in patients with schizophrenia. I have dissociative tendencies (and my DOC was a dissociative, go figure) so I think that is why they chose that. I have been to 2 different docs who both like this medication, and it seems to help, with minimal side effects, so I like it pretty well.
I am working with a therapist. She is new to me, so I will have to ask her her experience with BPD. I know she is experienced with PTSD and co-dependency, which I have both, to some extent. I am going to make an appointment soon, so I will be sure to bring it up.
I am working with a therapist. She is new to me, so I will have to ask her her experience with BPD. I know she is experienced with PTSD and co-dependency, which I have both, to some extent. I am going to make an appointment soon, so I will be sure to bring it up.
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Originally Posted by suki44883
The BPD being referred to in this thread is Borderline Personality Disorder, not bipolar disorder.
I've read elsewhere on the internet some BPD patients benefit from these meds. The thing about our situation, is that when my wife has an episode, she's "gone" for about four days. During that time scathing emails and phone calls go out to family members and it's gotten to the point that I'm essentially completely estranged from them. She will also drink very heavily. Just last week, she threw a glass of beer and a full bowl of food at the wall. What a mess not to mention frightening for me.
I thought it was worth a try if we could prevent or minimize an episode in the first place.
Look at it generic list .But on the site, he does talk about overlap (in his opinion) between the two conditions.
borderline
But I have no objections if the Mods deem it inappropriate and delete my posts on this matter.
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Originally Posted by Onewithwings
The mood stabilizer I am on is actually an antipsychotic, often used in patients with schizophrenia. I have dissociative tendencies (and my DOC was a dissociative, go figure) so I think that is why they chose that. I have been to 2 different docs who both like this medication, and it seems to help, with minimal side effects, so I like it pretty well.
I am working with a therapist. She is new to me, so I will have to ask her her experience with BPD. I know she is experienced with PTSD and co-dependency, which I have both, to some extent. I am going to make an appointment soon, so I will be sure to bring it up.
I am working with a therapist. She is new to me, so I will have to ask her her experience with BPD. I know she is experienced with PTSD and co-dependency, which I have both, to some extent. I am going to make an appointment soon, so I will be sure to bring it up.
Good luck with the therapist. It really helped my wife, but she stopped going. I thought she was very good and was of great benefit. I had a few sessions with her myself and got a better understanding of my wife and her BPD. She herself was a psychologist and as such was unable to prescribe meds.
I think the good new is that more and more research has gone into BPD over recent years.
Stick with the therapy if she is helpful!
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Originally Posted by Onewithwings
I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and a big way it manifests is by an attitude of "F$#@ it, I don't care anymore."
Wow, I can relate to a lot of this. The whole just not caring about anything, particularly about life, about yourself.
For me, the biggest help was having the right therapist, the right meds and going through the DBT skills class.
Now, when I get in that "I just don't care" mood, I use these skills to get through that moment. If I can't change how I'm feeling, I work at tolerating or distracting myself enough to get through it. The one thing I try to remember is that there will be a time when I feel better. So if I can get through *this* moment, it will get better.
For me, the behaviors I had asociated with BPD were how I coped with untolerable feelings/emotions or painful situations because I never learned healthy coping skills. That's what DBT did for me, it helped me replace some of the unhealthy thinking and ways of coping with ways that worked better.
I went into the DBT training *knowing* that it wasn't going to work. I had tried so many other things, I had been suffering for what felt like forever, that I knew DBT wasn't going to work. But I agreed to try, and I decided to really do my best, because I knew that once it failed, I could end my life, my suffering and no one would be able to fault me, because I really had tried everything.
{Twisted and might not make much sense, but then I never claimed to be sane
}Anyhow I had that mind set, and I was trying, when I read this, and it was a HUGE turning point for me:
WHY IS THERE HOPE?
There is hope because no one of us is ever a finished product. There is hope because no matter what you believe right now you do not have to hold to that forever if it is not working for you. Whatever we do or say that causes chaos and pain in our lives we can learn to stop choosing. Change is scary, but, if you can open yourself to the reality that change is what enables us to grow and to heal our pain than you can learn to dream. Once you learn to dream and you begin to envision something other than what you currently know or what you have always known --the way you experience your life and your relationships -- then you can also embrace the reality of hope.
To learn to hope one must learn to be calm and accepting of one's vulnerability. This can be very difficult to do as you unwind the miriad of defence mechanisms that you have needed so far in your life to feel safe. However, in the pursuit of hope you need to take some time and think about the illusion of safety that has permeated your existence thus far. You see, most borderlines think that when they are in "control" they are safe. The illusion here is that you are never really in "control" of anyone else. In fact the more you seek to control others in your life the more you are actually NOT in "control" of yourself. The hope in working so hard to overcome the very, very painful patterns established in borderline thinking, feeling and acting is that you can come to understand that you can only control yourself.
Okay, so right here and now, you are reading this and you may well say to yourself, but I can't control myself because I hurt too much, or I need to too much, or no one understands, or no one cares and so forth. Choose to take in "reality" and push out the "illusions" of old. YES you can control yourself. YES you can take back the control over the emotions, namely fear and hurt, that fuel the anger and the rage of your young and innocent inner-child that so have over-run you until now. HOPE! You are in control of the very choices that mold and shape your life, whether you consiously accept this or not. You have the choice to STOP being a victim of the past and to start being a person who has survived it. Work to heal from it. THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL FROM IT IS TO GREIVE it and then LET IT GO AND CHOOSE TO MOVE ON Herein lies so very much hope!
Give hope a chance -- what do you have to lose?
You have everything to gain.
There is hope because no one of us is ever a finished product. There is hope because no matter what you believe right now you do not have to hold to that forever if it is not working for you. Whatever we do or say that causes chaos and pain in our lives we can learn to stop choosing. Change is scary, but, if you can open yourself to the reality that change is what enables us to grow and to heal our pain than you can learn to dream. Once you learn to dream and you begin to envision something other than what you currently know or what you have always known --the way you experience your life and your relationships -- then you can also embrace the reality of hope.
To learn to hope one must learn to be calm and accepting of one's vulnerability. This can be very difficult to do as you unwind the miriad of defence mechanisms that you have needed so far in your life to feel safe. However, in the pursuit of hope you need to take some time and think about the illusion of safety that has permeated your existence thus far. You see, most borderlines think that when they are in "control" they are safe. The illusion here is that you are never really in "control" of anyone else. In fact the more you seek to control others in your life the more you are actually NOT in "control" of yourself. The hope in working so hard to overcome the very, very painful patterns established in borderline thinking, feeling and acting is that you can come to understand that you can only control yourself.
Okay, so right here and now, you are reading this and you may well say to yourself, but I can't control myself because I hurt too much, or I need to too much, or no one understands, or no one cares and so forth. Choose to take in "reality" and push out the "illusions" of old. YES you can control yourself. YES you can take back the control over the emotions, namely fear and hurt, that fuel the anger and the rage of your young and innocent inner-child that so have over-run you until now. HOPE! You are in control of the very choices that mold and shape your life, whether you consiously accept this or not. You have the choice to STOP being a victim of the past and to start being a person who has survived it. Work to heal from it. THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL FROM IT IS TO GREIVE it and then LET IT GO AND CHOOSE TO MOVE ON Herein lies so very much hope!
Give hope a chance -- what do you have to lose?
You have everything to gain.
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Originally Posted by insidejob
Meds for BPD? Please tell me more!
My psychiatrist tells me that there are no meds for BPD, and so does the literature on the subject.
I'd be grateful if you could share with me, by PM if you like, what meds are helpful.
My psychiatrist tells me that there are no meds for BPD, and so does the literature on the subject.
I'd be grateful if you could share with me, by PM if you like, what meds are helpful.
Because BPD is a personality disorder, its not something that can be corrected with just medication.
But often people find some relief with medications for the depression, anxiety, mood swings, etc. Myself I take an antidepressant and an antipsychotic medication for the mood swings. I've tried some of the mood stabilizers and for me, they didn't work as well.
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