Bamboozle

Just looking for experiences.

Does therapy work?

I feel a little mixed up about it sometimes. I think I am making progress...and I honestly believe I'd be dead if I hadn't reached out earlier this year.

I'm one of those people who needs help with recognizing distorted thinking and learning to love myself (trying...oh I'm trying so hard) .

Much of my therapy focuses on the present and how what I do now can help me to reach my goals. That may sound a bit like life coaching, but it goes a little deeper than that.


Anyone find that therapy doesn't work? What was wrong? What could be improved upon?


Just thinking...therapy is almost like having an expensive friend who devotes full attention for almost an hour at a time. I don't have any friends around here right now , so having someone to sound off to who has to listen to me is nice. I wish I could get this for free.


It's really hard for me to build trust in someone and I don't make friends so easily. I thought about why this is the case and while I acknowledge that I'm not very outgoing, I am picky about with whom I associate. I only form deep attachments to people who are worth it. Right now that list is very small. Excluding family, I have one close friend who lives on the other side of the country.

Obviously my therapist is not my friend, but I do trust her. I think it’s important for me to be able to talk to someone about problems who will not betray that trust.

I wonder if therapy is only a substitute for what I really need. Maybe there is a bit of truth to that, but I do know I still need help, friends or no friends.


Some close face to face friends would be nice.

Lenina

Bam,

For me, therapy was very helpful. It was a bit up and down though. I went through periods of time I didn't think it was helping but as it turned out, it WAS helping me! I also had times I absolutely hated it. Overall, it was time and money well-spent. I don't know if I would have been able to be as relatively stable and happy as I am had I quit when I first wanted to.

Frankly, I think you're a wonderful person. You've got a good heart and a sharp mind.

Love,

Lenina

kermit

I'm a skeptic, but that is because when I was a teenager, my first therapist told my parents I needed and psychologist who then but me in a mental institution... not sure to this day why.
However I have had many friends and some family who have had to do thearpy for one reason or another and for the most part it did them all some good.

Hope you are feeling better soon........

Vintersemestre

Not for me it doesn't.

least

I really look forward to my weekly one hour session with my addiction counselor. I can vent about whatever's bothering me and get her feedback and perspectives as a 'third party', which helps me to see what I'm doing from a 'strangers' point of view.

Having worked before in a sort of 'social worker' job, I understand she's doing what she's supposed to do: validate my existance and strengthen my defenses, but it's still nice to have someone "on my side" who cares about ME. This (addiction) counselor is one of the best I've ever had too. I trust her absolutely. (she loves animals and has a horse, what's not to like?)

I would be lost without her advice and company and help. I hope your relationship with your counselor/therapist is as helpful as mine has been.

:ghug3 I love ya Bam!

yeahgr8

Hey Bam

I go to a CBT counselor, you know what it's like after so long thinking in an insane way it doesn't change overnight and i need some guidance on particular parts of my life that i can't get from AA, e.g. go to a lawyer if you have a legal problem etc.

Iwent to one when i was 21 wwhich did not help me, one at 28 the same, then one last year who did help me and finally i found one who is great...so much so that i am planning to move in jan and we will be doing sessions over skype.

i think it's about finding the right one and understanding that, like any profession, most are quite ordinary in their skill sets so keep looking.

So, yeah therapy works if you are willing to listen and take advice:-)

Take it easy!

ashleek

Therapy is saving my life right now. I see and addiction/alcohol specalist and this man is wonderful. I have had so many ah ha moments with him. He really knows what he is talking about. It is very healing but I would recommend someone who specializes in addicition/alcohol recovery. They know what you are going through because a lot of them are recovering themselves. When you are shopping around you can ask anything about them, you don't just have to book an appointment. Ask about them and what they do, how long they've done it, if they have had self experience with drugs or alcohol. Most are more than willing to answer. I knew I needed someone who knows what they are talking about if I wanted to stay sober and so I did ask all those questions. We are the boss and it is our money so ask away!!

nandm

For me therapy is an essential part of my treatment. It is just as important as my medications. It is what can teach me how to deal with the PTSD and Bipolar in ways that medication can not. Meds can help stabilize but I believe that for me to get the most out of the medical community I need both therapy and medications.

ClayTheScribe

Therapy was working for me until I had to switch therapists because my previous therapist said she wasn't qualified to treat addictions/alcoholism. My new therapist, who I have been seeing since May, is just so so. I don't know what I'm expecting each time I go to see her, but I just don't really get anything out of it anymore. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I need to get a new therapist. I don't know. Therapy doesn't do much good if you don't actively change how you think, which I'm trying to, but it's a struggle. With my last therapist I had some hope that I could recover from this depression and now not so much.

We tried some role playing last time (she pretended to be my negative thoughts, I pretended to be the positive thoughts, vice versa) which was sort of helpful, but I don't know. Again, I don't know what I'm expecting. I guess I'm looking for more CBT type stuff. Maybe I'm just not taking enough from therapy. I don't know, I feel lost as far as far as therapy goes.

I would like to get into that Dialectectal Behavioral Therapy, but don't have enough money for both.

I'm glad therapy is working for you, Bam.

meditation

Therapy does not work for me. It is again like AA and NA mandated. As long as how I feel emotionally gets reported back to my EAP advisor or case manager it won't work. Maybe for some people it does work but it feels like I sit there and my psychologist rattles off case studies and some obscure stuff and she does not really like much interaction from me... she llkes to talk and me listen and by the time she gets done I have totally forgotten what she said that I wanted to reply to. It's a waste of my time and money but something I am forced into doing.

I hope that I am the case that isn't the norm. For one I think it would be helpful to have a psychologist that is versed in addictions. Mine has no clue.
And I really need on an antidepressant but the one I need on that is about the only one I can tolerate runs me around 75.00 out of pocket each month and again I have to go thru hoops galore to get on and the paper work is incredible with my case manager.

There are days when I feel like my recovery belongs to the my case manager and not me and I get frustrated and angry that I have to even do it.

Did this help? lol probably not.

OceanBound

The first time I tried it (my first severe depression episode), it was very helpful. I had no idea where my bad thoughts were coming from and how to deal with them. Also, I had no idea I was carrying so much pain from the experiences in the distant past and how they still affected me. The second attempt was so so. The last one was pretty useless and I stopped after a while. It takes a good therapist and a lot of work on your part to make it work.

The therapist is NOT your friend, it's more like the doctor-patient relationship even though not all of them are MDs. So having friends is essential too. But they might not be able to teach you the coping skills you need and recognize destructive patterns.

Take care,
OB

adore79

I totally relate to what you are saying Bam. Is it just having an ear of someone you like and trust to talk to for an hour that helps or is there some kind of real scientific basis for therapy. I can say that for myself, after years in and out of therapy i cannot say it has helped me very much but there were definitely times when i felt much better just having someone to confide in.

All my friends are on the net so i have ample opportunity to talk to trusted people, which is one reason i gave up therapy this last time. Although i really liked, and kinda loved, my last therapist we just werent making progress. I guess it is just something that is going to take time, maybe after a year or so of therapy you will have the experience needed to look back and make a decision of whether or not it is really helping.

Overman

Therapy works if you want it to.

ClayTheScribe

And sometimes it just doesn't work no matter what you do...

Clivealexander

While some people recover from depression using medications alone, there are many others, who would prefer to use a combination of alternative therapies to try to alleviate the symptoms of depression. One of these treatments being studied is Pet Therapy.

mxchaos

therapy gave me the tools to start living a sober healthier life...if one kind of therapy isn't working try another...CBT,DBT, Talk therapy are just a few kinds...shop around.

Brentos

I've never gone to see a therapist for more than a couple months at a time, choosing to think and ponder on things myself mostly, however there has been one that has really helped me. Shopping around, for me, was the best idea imaginable. Alot of them weren't connecting with me on any level and thus making trust hard to maintain, which is something that is big for me. It was moreso just learning about what makes me tick better. After shopping around and learning who's best for me I really noticed that my perspective changed towards a few things. I became more open to different thought processes, patterns and possibilities which I had forgotten over the years and in general it helped slowly, very slowly, get the ball rolling on my overall health and recovery from alcoholism, depression, and anxiety. I wasn't necessarily learning anything new, I was putting things that I had forgotten about how to live healthy - emotionally, physically, spiritually - in the front row of my consciousness and then evaluating them from there.

I haven't seen my therapist in around 8 months and my conditions are slowly, but steadily, improving. Took me a while like I said but if you get the right therapist they can be a great source of brain food. I also got mine for free through our social assistance programs here in Toronto. It really makes me smile that the one that's free offered me the most.

"Therapy works if you want it to." That's pretty true from my view, the work comes from the one seeking help, not the other way around. I wish it was so, oh man I would have loved someone to take me by the hand and guide me through this entire life thing at one point, however I understand now that that isn't the best way to handle things. Learning how to learn, just like how elementary school teaches us, was the best thing for me as independence and self confidence go hand in hand in alot of ways (if practiced right ofcourse).

I'll be seeing my therapist again for a couple/few months to tie up some loose ends, defragment what's left, and then bid her adieu. Therapy for me has been a very positive experience in the end. At first...not so much. Took 3 years before I found one that worked for me so it can take some time.

Wishing you the best Bam.

BS08

I don't know what I'd do without my therapist. I have been seeing (now doing phone sessions due to my move) since 2006. I don't talk to her weekly like I used to, just maybe once every other month or so (I wasn't talking to her at all while with my exABF. How it would of been different if I had).

The thing I value about my therapist is that she challenges me to see things in ways I don't want to. Things I won't admit to or want to face. She doesn't let me get away with anything. If I start squirming on the phone or couch, she knows to ask what's going on in my head. She helped me to see how much I was talking in the third person (using "I" more instead of "you" "we" "they") which helped me stay present and take responsibilities for my feelings and how it was affecting me. You tend to have the blinders on she has the clearer picture. I've had so many AHA moments in my therapy that it's been amazing. Trying to change old habits and feelings though are still my challenge.

I have a lot going on inside right now due to my breakup and reconnecting with my family. It's so overwhelming at times I just feel I want to give up, but she refocuses me and helps me deal. Friends are great too, but they can't really understand the constant turmoil in me. They can empathize, but aren't quite equipped with giving me the tools to truly deal with it. They don't know them themselves. My therapist has those tools to share, and they really do help...

I talk with her more lately but just can't afford it. Just wish it wasn't so damn expensive...

Bamboozle

Ah...I went for an intake appointment so I can see a psychiatrist for my meds. I did not like talking to this guy (he was not the psychiatrist...I won't see the psych for a month). His "office" was in a space with four other desks and people walked in and out without regards to privacy. I felt exposed...I told him what I needed to...that was it.

I'm sticking with my current therapist. I appreciate the replies...my concern wasn't whether or not my therapist is adequate or a good fit...I'm just concerned because I do think therapy is not a cure all. Therapy has pulled me out of hell...yes. Therapy helps me to live and my life is getting better...yes. But therapy cannot be a substitute for the things I'm missing that I need...like companionship. There's no replacement for that...so I hang on the best I can. What I have now is not enough...I can't exactly go around and force people to associate with me. I'm being careful that I don't become too dependent upon therapy because I am lonely.

I won't mention the site here, but there is a forum out on the interwebs and I can't help but feel sorry for these people. Many of them are completely dependent upon their therapists for survival...I think that's dangerous. It boggles my mind that, for example, someone had been seeing a therapist for over 10 years and his/her situation did not improve.

I would like to think that most therapists would not choose to string a patient along for money or personal reasons, but sadly there are some who do. Some of these forum participants are too sick to realize that their current therapy is not helping them to become mentally healthy/self-dependent. I'm actually glad I came across the site...it's something I can look at and say, "I don't want to become like that". It's good to stay on my toes…and I do.

That site makes me love SR more. People here find a way to push others to heal…to get better. That site is a place where people stay stuck...and sick. *brr*

evmdimples

You nailed it Bam, therapy is not a replacement for what's missing in our lives. In a 5 year period I saw 3 different therapists. As I progressed on my journey, I felt I needed different people to address the different issues I needed to look at. And they all helped to some degree, but yeah, not a cure-all. That part is up to me. I can say that for me, the best type of therapy at this time in my life is short-term, the kind that gives me some tools I can take and use right away. I think it's CBT. Whatever the name, it's what I want and need. Not the talk talk talk forever about stuff. While that can be useful, at this stage in life I find that I need immediate tools to help me deal with the issues at hand. What I do with them is up to me.

My last therapist (CBT) confirmed that the process of making friends and finding companions wasn't an instant process. That it required attention and dedication and it would happen eventually. But that it would take time. And so I do what I can to find friends and like-minded people (in my new city... I've finally relocated to FL!)

And finally, I can completely empathize with how your intake appt. made you feel: exposed! The scenario you described sure feels like that!

Keep doing the good work, you continue to sound good, so something must be working and I'm going to say it's YOU!

hugs,
e