personality disorder

[crzylilmndfreak]

i was wondering if anyone here may know of anyone, or may have "borderline personality disorder" ?
what your symptoms are,
and what kind of meds are there, or are you taking???

[LiLCatuhPiluh]

Hi there,

I came here tonight looking for the same thing. Someone with BPD. I have not been diagnosed by a "doctor" per say, but I have read enough on it to make an educated decision. It was one night while I was ranting in a chat room on this website that someone told me I should look into BPD, that I showed signs of it. It explains so much of my misery and I too am looking for someone who can relate to my world.

[LiLCatuhPiluh]

Oh and as for the answer to your questions.....

As for medication, BPD, as far as I have read, is not usually treated with medication. Well not directly. Many who suffer from BPD also suffer from depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. These issues can often be treated with medicine but there is no known medication that is said to cure BPD.

As for symptoms: intense fear of abandonment and trying to avoid it, unpredictable relationships, self-identity issues, reckless behavior, self-harming behaviors, highly volatile emotions, feelings of emptiness, easily provoked rage.

When I think of a way to sum up all the symptoms I just think CRAZY MADNESS.

[evmdimples]

It's great that you are open to a diagnosis. That's the first step on the road to recovery/healing. There are a few other disorders that display some of the symptoms of BPD. Best thing is to get a professional assessment/evaluation to confirm what you might have. Then you can move on to the appropriate therapy/therapist. BPD can be managed with DBT, Dialectic Behavior Therapy.

Best of luck!

[Overman]

DBT is the best evidence-based practice for the treatment of BPD.

[RockyGirl]

Hi, I was diagnosed with BPD last week after over a year of therapy and medication. Look it up on Wikipedia it's got quite a good explanation of what it is on there!!!

You should go see someone if you think you have this disorder because it's not a nice thing to have.

Wishing you well,

Aimee

[ogre]

I was recently told that this is what I have. It is totally me. I am on two anti-depressants and antixety meds too!

[soberinwpg]

Recently diagnosed with BPD. So thrilled to finally put the missing pieces in place.
I am not on any medications but am looking for counselling.
I just can't explain how relieved I was when I read the symptoms and causes. It just clicked on so many levels for me.

[Aysha]

Originally Posted by LiLCatuhPiluh

As for symptoms: intense fear of abandonment and trying to avoid it, unpredictable relationships, self-identity issues, reckless behavior, self-harming behaviors, highly volatile emotions, feelings of emptiness, easily provoked rage.

.

I was just diagnosed this past week while I was inpatient at a mental facility. That description is so me. I wasnt sure what it menat either. But I have an idea now.
And alot of the symptoms really make sense.
I dont know if they gave me meds directly for the PBD. But they have put me on like 4 diferent meds the past week to stabalize my moods and for anxiety.
They seem to be working already. I am just at a nice middle place emotionally here the past few days.
I hope you find some answers.

[Claudius]

I believe there is a proscribed regiment for people that suffer from BPD and consists mainly of psychological development such as positive thinking , meditation, et cetera….

[ranae1221]

I was diagnosised with BPD about 8 years ago. I don't think I would still meet the critera to have this diagnosis, though many traits of it I still fight.

Symptoms of BPD range can be found in just about anyone, but what makes it different with a person with BPD is the extremes. While just about everyone had self-esteem issues, persons with BPD take it to a whole new level. Everyone has issues with identity at times, someone with BPD might have issues all the time, never really knowing who they are. Persons with BPD might seem to always be in chaos, because they don't know how to cope or deal with everyday problems. Often the 'behaviors' that tend to be a problem for others are the person's way of protecting themselves, of coping with a very confusing and painful world.

Then there are those with BPD that 'act out' and those that 'act in'. I was one who tended to act in, taking everything out on myself. Most people never even knew how much utter pain I was in all the time, because I was able to keep it together until home alone.

It took many years of hard work, the right therapist, the right medication and learning new coping skills to get to where I am in life. Without a doubt, DBT was a big part of that.

[ranae1221]

For those that are struggling with BPD, or really struggling with change or recovery, this was an article that really helped me:


Why Is There Hope
There is hope because no one of us is ever a finished product. There is hope because no matter what you believe right now you do not have to hold to that forever if it is not working for you. Whatever we do or say that causes chaos and pain in our lives we can learn to stop choosing. Change is scary, but, if you can open yourself to the reality that change is what enables us to grow and to heal our pain than you can learn to dream. Once you learn to dream and you begin to envision something other than what you currently know or what you have always known --the way you experience your life and your relationships -- then you can also embrace the reality of hope.

To learn to hope one must learn to be calm and accepting of one's vulnerability. This can be very difficult to do as you unwind the miriad of defence mechanisms that you have needed so far in your life to feel safe. However, in the pursuit of hope you need to take some time and think about the illusion of safety that has permeated your existence thus far. You see, most borderlines think that when they are in "control" they are safe. The illusion here is that you are never really in "control" of anyone else. In fact the more you seek to control others in your life the more you are actually NOT in "control" of yourself. The hope in working so hard to overcome the very, very painful patterns established in borderline thinking, feeling and acting is that you can come to understand that you can only control yourself.

Okay, so right here and now, you are reading this and you may well say to yourself, but I can't control myself because I hurt too much, or I need to too much, or no one understands, or no one cares and so forth. Choose to take in "reality" and push out the "illusions" of old. YES you can control yourself. YES you can take back the control over the emotions, namely fear and hurt, that fuel the anger and the rage of your young and innocent inner-child that so have over-run you until now. HOPE! You are in control of the very choices that mold and shape your life, whether you consiously accept this or not. You have the choice to STOP being a victim of the past and to start being a person who has survived it. Work to heal from it. THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL FROM IT IS TO GREIVE it and then LET IT GO AND CHOOSE TO MOVE ON Herein lies so very much hope!

http://www.borderlinepersonality.ca/bpdhope.htm

[ranae1221]

Originally Posted by Aysha

I was just diagnosed this past week while I was inpatient at a mental facility. That description is so me. I wasnt sure what it menat either. But I have an idea now.
And alot of the symptoms really make sense.
I dont know if they gave me meds directly for the PBD. But they have put me on like 4 diferent meds the past week to stabalize my moods and for anxiety.
They seem to be working already. I am just at a nice middle place emotionally here the past few days.
I hope you find some answers.

From what I know, there isn't any 1 medication for BPD. When medication is used, its usually to treat some of the symptoms of BPD, such as anxiety, depression, mood swings, etc.

But wouldn't it be nice if there was a pill for BPD?

[crzylilmndfreak]

thank you everyone for your great words of "wisdom" on this particular disorder.. i actually just got released from the mental health hospital aka "loony bin" lol... but anywho, they FINALLY diagnosed me officially with borderline personality disorder...this changes EVERYTHING, there could not be any other way to describe my personality as this does, look it up and there should literally be a picture of my face...my husband has been reading up on this,and has a new sense of seeing things in my perspective, and seems to have quite a big understanding to my problems now, and has eased up on me alot, because it is now "official" i really am CRAZY just like i've know for so long lol , but just couldnt put a finger of as to WHY, and now that we have a name for what my problem is, the dr. said to look into DBT, has anyone experienced this? from what little i know about it, it seems expensive, and i just figured i could find alot of information on the web, and books, so i dont know how important it can be i guess
any input anyone? ty
crys

[ranae1221]

Originally Posted by crzylilmndfreak

thank you everyone for your great words of "wisdom" on this particular disorder.. i actually just got released from the mental health hospital aka "loony bin" lol... but anywho, they FINALLY diagnosed me officially with borderline personality disorder...this changes EVERYTHING, there could not be any other way to describe my personality as this does, look it up and there should literally be a picture of my face...my husband has been reading up on this,and has a new sense of seeing things in my perspective, and seems to have quite a big understanding to my problems now, and has eased up on me alot, because it is now "official" i really am CRAZY just like i've know for so long lol , but just couldnt put a finger of as to WHY, and now that we have a name for what crys

I remember how relieved I was to finally have a 'reason' for how I felt and thought. I could never understand why I acted the way I did at times, and once I started learning about DBT, so much made sense.

For me, I needed to understand WHY I reacted and thought the way I did so I could work on changing it. Finally having a name to the chaos in my head was a start.

this changes EVERYTHING,

While some things change, true, it doesn't change everything. You are still you, just now with better understanding of yourself. It can be very easy to begin to see yourself as just a 'label', and there will be others who try to do that was well. Don't let them. You are a person with much to share and offer to the world. Don't let this now define who you are. You have a disorder, but are NOT the disorder.

my problem is, the dr. said to look into DBT, has anyone experienced this? from what little i know about it, it seems expensive, and i just figured i could find alot of information on the web, and books, so i dont know how important it can be i guess
any input anyone? ty

DBT was, without a doubt the best thing for me. BPD has a lot to do with disfuncitional ways of thinking and coping, and DBT works to challenge those thoughts and learn new coping skills.

I really do not believe that DBT would work by just reading or crusing the web. You really need the therapist to help guide you and ensure you are learning correctly.

Do you have health insurance? It may be covered. What about any local behavioral health facilities? Sometimes they will work with you based off your income and have a sliding scale for fees.

It is not an easy road towards recovery, and there will be many times it is too overwhelming and you wonder what is the point? But hang in there. Recovery is very much possible if you are willing to work hard.

[Overman]

I do some DBT groups. You can find one at most community mental health centers.

A good acronym to remember is DIME, the core areas of focus in DBT:

D - Distress Tolerance
I - Interpersonal Effectiveness
M - Mindfulness
E - Emotional Regulation

Hope you find a group. I really helps people.

[InternetJuliett]

I was diagnosed with bpd also 5 yrs ago and while i'm doing better, i still struggle with some of the symptoms... i too am one who turns everything inward and a lot of the time people don't realize there is anything wrong with me but i hide a lot of how i feel... i self-injure and cover that up too and although i function at a fairly high level i just don't understand why i have to be miserable so much of the time... i've been through the dbt class two and a half times and it is the best treatment for borderlines... i will have to say i'm way better than i used to be and i think i'm relapsing now due to some new stressors in my life - like starting the 8th and 9th step in my recovery which i'm not looking forward to and thinking about going back to work after all these years which freaks the crap out of me... well, i guess i can only try and move forward. i do take medication but like it's been said, they are for the symptoms i suffer from - depression and anxiety and sleep problems not the bpd itself... good luck to whoever has this and definately try the dbt therapy.

[ananda]

my dr. is considering a BPD diagnosis for me. I reviewed the "symptoms" and i seem to fit the BPD one, but...only 4 of the underliying symptons that you have to meet as well (of 5 needed to "qualify").

Course thats just my opinion....and i guess i'm relatively high functioning is why....

When I was younger I was diagnoised with PTSD, and I saw on the information on BPD...that BPS can sorta "grow" out of PTSD....or thats how i think of it.

It's given me some perception on my "problems", and explains why I do sooooo much better when I stay dedicated to my buddhist practice which I discovered on my own...and includes mindfulness practice.

[lillie]

I do much better when I'm focused on Buddhism as well, I'm like a different person! Maybe that's a little known BPD cure...

I just want to add that make sure if you say you have BPD that you have actually been diagnosed by a doctor, maybe even multiple doctors... I was diagnosed with BPD in a detox center, so he wasn't even getting an accurate portrayal of my personality. My doctor now thinks I have traits but not a full-fledged personality disorder... I just react a certain way with men in romantic relationships. To be a personality disorder, it has to affect all areas of your life - you love and hate all your friends, teachers, parents, doctors, etc... not just one person, like me.

My doctor did this cool thing to prove that I've got medical student syndrome (thinking you have every disease) by reading random pages out of the DSM-IV. I said yes to so many symptoms, I could be schizophrenic, bipolar, have antisocial personality disorder... I don't. It's easy to read these traits and think "That's me!" cause a lot of people do a lot of these. Doesn't always mean you have the full-fledged disorder unless you react in these ways in all situations, with all types of people.

[ananda]

thanks lil...yeah i sorta see these things as a guide to treatment more....each of these mental diagnosises gives a way to focus on a treatment plan that can be effective.

Unfortunately I serverly under value those people who are most supportive and over value people who are chaotic or likely to bounce in and out of my life...regardless of relationship...it effects me on friendships, romanctic relations, family relations, work relations...

I am currenlty struggling with feeling abandoned by my sponsor lol...notice i'm not saying I'm being abandon....its part of what my mind does....so far i'm calm and I will do more meditation and practice my mindfulness more ....

Even my mom says I'm saner when i am more involved in my practice

[evmdimples]

DBT is based on the practice of mindfulness. And why mindfulness and meditation practices yield good results to those who present with BPD or traits. My g/f presents with at least 4 of the traits. She does better when she engages in the mindfulness involved with her martial arts practice. As her partner, I've found it's also important for me to be fully involved in my own mindfulness practice as well as my 12-step program for codependency. Otherwise, there's a disaster waiting to happen at every corner!

[DecBaby]

I find it odd that so many people are relieved to have this as a diagnoses. I've been diagnosed with this before but I sorta think it just describes a group of people with the same perssonality. Why does it have to be a disorder? Its my personality, how do you expect me to change it?

[ananda]

for me, it isn't just "part of my personality" and I beleive i can at least moderate the effects.

I have extreme thinking, fear of abandonment, inability to see things as they really are...rather i put negative spins on things that aren't necessarily true...

Why wouldn't I want help to lessen those things in my life?

I guess i don't see "who i am" as an unchanging thing..it changes everyday

I change my personality by being open to change and honest about my thoughts and being willing to take a fresh less biased view of situations...

I guess for me it would be like saying...I'm an alchoholic so i drink....and then proceeding to drink to the bitter end....it isn't necesary.

I start a dual diagnosis group tomarrow...I'm exited about having an opportunity to grow and learn and change my beahvior and thinking.

[rainbowfish]

i too have ticked just about all the boxes of bpd. i feel now that i am so very desperate for a proper diagnosis from my psych so i can embrace some sort of answers and healing. i've been sober 82 days and i feel like i've been heading further and further down a long dark tunnel. my psych has upped my zoloft to 100mg and i really don't know if they are helping me much. my partner is at his wits end. he has been constantly supportive, loving and understanding of 'me' through our 4 years together but now that i'm starting to live in reality some home truths are really hitting hard. my heads feeling like mud at the moment.
peace to you all x

[Whadahay]

Reading your posts really helps me deal with my feelings towards an ex-roommate of 2 years ago. I rented a house with her and her 15 year old daughter for a year. It was horrendous. She would make up stories and blatently lie to my face as if they were the truth. She made up awful things about me, called the police on me for ridiculous and absurb things - like my leaving a vent open in the living room. The cops addressed every call - and it seemed to empower her.

I was about going crazy not knowing what she was going to do or say next. I avoided her like the plague and did not feel comfortable being in my own home (and I paid $200 more for rent than she did - I got conned into that arrangement). After a few months, I realized what she was up to and I told her that she and her daughter were not my financial responsibility. She just screamed at me. She actually believed that I owed her. I think if I paid all of the rent and utilities and was never ever home, she still would have found something to complain about me. It was horrible living with her. I hope she has sought out help. On the outside she looked normal, but inside, she was a hurricane.