I will end it - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 07:33 AM

I just can't bear this anymore...I think i'm getting better then it just all goes wrong again and they come to take me to decide that i am not normal for the time being and it's nboit fair.........I shouldnt even still be here i wasn't supposed to live past the age of 12 but somethign went wrong and now they have control of me and i dont know what to do i'm so lost i don't want it to be like this i'm not spoised to be here now it's all wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!!

Bamboozle · 10-20-2009, 08:25 AM

RG...please get help now.

Lilya · 10-20-2009, 09:45 AM

RockyGirl,

Please take up the phone and call a suicide hotline. Then come back and tell us you´re OK.

You are not alone, we´re here for you.

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 09:47 AM

I have an emergency assessment toormorrow with psych and cpn. They can't help tho me because theres nothing wrongn really it's just them at the moment theyve decided that i'm not acting right but they'll soon decidede to let me be normal for a whilee again then I can be nprmal for a while...i dont know how long for but i can't keep bothering peaple can i everyone knows about me that i am attention seeking no one believes a word that comes aout of me mouyth and they all stare at me to try and make me confess ohhh wahst happending ...

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 09:48 AM

im nfine im jmust going about my daily duties what they have told me to doi

***Freedom1990*** · 10-20-2009, 09:58 AM

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html (If You Are Feeling Suicidal)

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 10:00 AM

i am being filmed i swear they are filming me so they can kno my next mve but why would they want to do that. because they conterol me anyways...what is happening to me ??????? what is happeningg???

***Morning Glory*** · 10-20-2009, 11:26 AM

Hi Aimee,

Have you started any new medication recently?

I think the assessment is really good. From your past posts it seems your parents really care about you. I don't think they are trying to harm you.

I had a similar experience that you are having when I took Welbutrin to try to stop smoking. I'm sure they will be able to help you. It just might take a little time.

We will all be waiting to hear how your appointment goes tomorrow.

Bamboozle · 10-20-2009, 11:27 AM

Hang on, RockyGirl. Is there anyone you can talk to face to face right now? Please?

***Astro*** · 10-20-2009, 11:35 AM

Aimee, please hang in there and do your best until your assessment tomorrow. You've got people that care about you, I hope you reach out for comfort and suuport.

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morning Glory

Hi Aimee,

Have you started any new medication recently?

I think the assessment is really good. From your past posts it seems your parents really care about you. I don't think they are trying to harm you.

I had a similar experience that you are having when I took Welbutrin to try to stop smoking. I'm sure they will be able to help you. It just might take a little time.

We will all be waiting to hear how your appointment goes tomorrow.

I havent started any new medication im on the same meds i've been on for nearly a year now...i dont knopw why this is ahaappening!! My parents are in on it I think idont know i just so confused what is happeningg

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bamboozle

Hang on, RockyGirl. Is there anyone you can talk to face to face right now? Please?

I have trieed taliing to my parents but i dont think they understand...they dont understands adn I think they're tired of me causing problems i camt blamme themn!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astro

Aimee, please hang in there and do your best until your assessment tomorrow. You've got people that care about you, I hope you reach out for comfort and suuport.

I tried but they wont let anyone help me i'm so lost can't i just end it pleasee??? please? ?

Believe808 · 10-20-2009, 12:36 PM

Hi Aimee, remember me? What's going on honey,

pm me if you want, I'm here to listen, you know I'm

always here for you.

***Astro*** · 10-20-2009, 12:52 PM

Please keep talking to us Aimee, I don't think anyone wants to hurt you or see you hurt yourself.

Lilya · 10-20-2009, 12:59 PM

Take a deep breath and think of nice place you like a lot, or a person you love.

Let that place or person be your safe haven for the moment.

We will be here tomorrow when your meeting is over. Then we´ll see what we can do to help.

One step at a time.

Hugs,

***Morning Glory*** · 10-20-2009, 02:48 PM

Aimee, I have PTSD and I get shame attacks from time to time and I really believe that others hate me and think I am bothering them. I really have to work hard on self talk telling myself that it just isn't true. I know you have always worried about being a bother to others. I think you are a very sweet, kind person and can see nothing at all that would bother anyone. Keep talking positive to yourself instead of telling yourself all those negative things.

I can tell you are pretty wonderful. Don't misinterpret your parents worry for rejection. If they didn't care they wouldn't be trying to help you.

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astro

Please keep talking to us Aimee, I don't think anyone wants to hurt you or see you hurt yourself.

I will hurt myself s tonight I want to...but i can keep talking to u asweelll

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilya

Take a deep breath and think of nice place you like a lot, or a person you love.

Let that place or person be your safe haven for the moment.

We will be here tomorrow when your meeting is over. Then we´ll see what we can do to help.

One step at a time.

Hugs,

i dont control my thoughts i have no control over them i dont know who does but its not me :-( im just so lost i dont knoe anymroe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morning Glory

Aimee, I have PTSD and I get shame attacks from time to time and I really believe that others hate me and think I am bothering them. I really have to work hard on self talk telling myself that it just isn't true. I know you have always worried about being a bother to others. I think you are a very sweet, kind person and can see nothing at all that would bother anyone. Keep talking positive to yourself instead of telling yourself all those negative things.

I can tell you are pretty wonderful. Don't misinterpret your parents worry for rejection. If they didn't care they wouldn't be trying to help you.

thankks for your words... iwish i could take them i9n but i'm being so bloody self obsessed at the momentt, they're letting me be partially normall but they're qwatching me in the background and waiting

Lilya · 10-20-2009, 03:25 PM

Yes, you can control your thoughts, even in a crisis.

Use the word "choose" before each sentence.

"I choose not to control my thoughts."
As soon as you add "I choose", you´re on top.

Share your thoughts, hold it together, use the word choose and report back to us.

I think you´re very overwhelmed at the moment. I know that feeling too well. It´s a bad place to be, but it will pass.

We´re here for you.

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilya

Yes, you can control your thoughts, even in a crisis.

Use the word "choose" before each sentence.

"I choose not to control my thoughts."
As soon as you add "I choose", you´re on top.

Share your thoughts, hold it together, use the word choose and report back to us.

I think you´re very overwhelmed at the moment. I know that feeling too well. It´s a bad place to be, but it will pass.

We´re here for you.

I dont want ti to pass, they like it and it wants to stay on

***Astro*** · 10-20-2009, 03:46 PM

Aimee, the thought of harming yourself might be appealing right now, or maybe you think it'll give you relief. Hurting yourself will solve nothing. Lilya's right, you always have the power of choice.

I've been in a mental hospital, I've been crumpled up in a ball of fear on the floor of an empty apartment, I've stared out the windows for hours, paralyzed and afraid to move. It will pass Aimee, I wouldn't be here if it didn't improve over time.

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astro

Aimee, the thought of harming yourself might be appealing right now, or maybe you think it'll give you relief. Hurting yourself will solve nothing. Lilya's right, you always have the power of choice.

I've been in a mental hospital, I've been crumpled up in a ball of fear on the floor of an empty apartment, I've stared out the windows for hours, paralyzed and afraid to move. It will pass Aimee, I wouldn't be here if it didn't improve over time.

but when?? I cant take it anywmore!

**Rowan** · 10-20-2009, 03:55 PM

Hi Aimee,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know it feels unbearable and overwhelming and that you're out of control - but you're safe. Right now, you're safe. You are sitting or standing and your feet are on the floor. Slow down. Take a breath. Feel your feet on the floor. Look around the room, become aware of your surroundings. Slow down. Breathe some more.

I was in a psych hospital in July after a breakdown of sorts. I really understand how crazy-making this whole thing is. It's not you. It's not your fault. You're not alone.

How about a plan? For just this moment. Have you eaten? Can you go get something to eat? A drink of water? Remember to take care of your very basic needs right now.

You won't always feel this way. There is hope. Keep talking. Keep reaching out.

Now - how about something to eat or drink?

***Astro*** · 10-20-2009, 03:57 PM

Aimee, my experience has been that nothing worthwhile ever came without patience, effort, and continued willingness to reach out for help and support.

Sending you a hug

RockyGirl · 10-20-2009, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rowan

Hi Aimee,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know it feels unbearable and overwhelming and that you're out of control - but you're safe. Right now, you're safe. You are sitting or standing and your feet are on the floor. Slow down. Take a breath. Feel your feet on the floor. Look around the room, become aware of your surroundings. Slow down. Breathe some more.

I was in a psych hospital in July after a breakdown of sorts. I really understand how crazy-making this whole thing is. It's not you. It's not your fault. You're not alone.

How about a plan? For just this moment. Have you eaten? Can you go get something to eat? A drink of water? Remember to take care of your very basic needs right now.

You won't always feel this way. There is hope. Keep talking. Keep reaching out.

Now - how about something to eat or drink?

I'm soo sorry i feel like a failure....but this world isnt mine i cant see it, im not really here ican't be...i don't know whats going on in my head...

I have to go noww im sorryy...i will try to write aagian after my meetign tomrrorow!! thank youu all!

**Rowan** · 10-20-2009, 04:02 PM

Stay safe, Aimee.

Believe808 · 10-20-2009, 04:16 PM

Aimee, you are so special honey, stay on the boards, talk to us, we are all here and want to help you, you have to trust us. We have all been where you are now and
managed to get through it, please let us help you through it.

Remember the last time you were feeling down Aimee, you started the thread "Please help me" please go back and read those posts, you got through the rough time you were having then, maybe if you read them you will see that just hanging in there, it will be better tomorrow.

I will pray for you Aimee that you have some peace tonight, prayers always help me when I am so lost.

10-20-2009, 07:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
RockyGirl Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England Posts: 92	I will end it I just can't bear this anymore...I think i'm getting better then it just all goes wrong again and they come to take me to decide that i am not normal for the time being and it's nboit fair.........I shouldnt even still be here i wasn't supposed to live past the age of 12 but somethign went wrong and now they have control of me and i dont know what to do i'm so lost i don't want it to be like this i'm not spoised to be here now it's all wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!!

10-20-2009, 08:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
Bamboozle Watch out...it'll fool ya! Duck Hunt 2 Champion! Alien Rescue Champion! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Underwater Posts: 3,475 Blog Entries: 12	RG...please get help now. __________________ A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

10-20-2009, 09:45 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lilya Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France Posts: 1,105	RockyGirl, Please take up the phone and call a suicide hotline. Then come back and tell us you´re OK. You are not alone, we´re here for you. __________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya

10-20-2009, 09:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
*Freedom1990* College Student Extraordinaire Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kansas Posts: 4,931	http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html (If You Are Feeling Suicidal) __________________ DeVon & the Zoo Crew

10-20-2009, 11:26 AM	#8 (permalink)
*Morning Glory* Administrator Midi Golf Champion! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 1,601	Hi Aimee, Have you started any new medication recently? I think the assessment is really good. From your past posts it seems your parents really care about you. I don't think they are trying to harm you. I had a similar experience that you are having when I took Welbutrin to try to stop smoking. I'm sure they will be able to help you. It just might take a little time. We will all be waiting to hear how your appointment goes tomorrow. __________________ Pro 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

10-20-2009, 09:47 AM	#4 (permalink)
RockyGirl Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England Posts: 92	I have an emergency assessment toormorrow with psych and cpn. They can't help tho me because theres nothing wrongn really it's just them at the moment theyve decided that i'm not acting right but they'll soon decidede to let me be normal for a whilee again then I can be nprmal for a while...i dont know how long for but i can't keep bothering peaple can i everyone knows about me that i am attention seeking no one believes a word that comes aout of me mouyth and they all stare at me to try and make me confess ohhh wahst happending ...

10-20-2009, 09:48 AM	#5 (permalink)
RockyGirl Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England Posts: 92	im nfine im jmust going about my daily duties what they have told me to doi

10-20-2009, 10:00 AM	#7 (permalink)
RockyGirl Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England Posts: 92	i am being filmed i swear they are filming me so they can kno my next mve but why would they want to do that. because they conterol me anyways...what is happening to me ??????? what is happeningg???

10-20-2009, 11:27 AM	#9 (permalink)
Bamboozle Watch out...it'll fool ya! Duck Hunt 2 Champion! Alien Rescue Champion! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Underwater Posts: 3,475 Blog Entries: 12	Hang on, RockyGirl. Is there anyone you can talk to face to face right now? Please? __________________ A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

10-20-2009, 11:35 AM	#10 (permalink)
*Astro* Humble Door Greeter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, two families in a big new home! Posts: 9,283	Aimee, please hang in there and do your best until your assessment tomorrow. You've got people that care about you, I hope you reach out for comfort and suuport. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

10-20-2009, 12:36 PM	#12 (permalink)
Believe808 Miracles Happen Mahjongg Champion! Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 8,849	Hi Aimee, remember me? What's going on honey, pm me if you want, I'm here to listen, you know I'm always here for you. __________________ She believed she could so she did.... FAITH makes all things possible...not easy

10-20-2009, 12:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
*Astro* Humble Door Greeter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, two families in a big new home! Posts: 9,283	Please keep talking to us Aimee, I don't think anyone wants to hurt you or see you hurt yourself. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

10-20-2009, 12:59 PM	#14 (permalink)
Lilya Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France Posts: 1,105	Take a deep breath and think of nice place you like a lot, or a person you love. Let that place or person be your safe haven for the moment. We will be here tomorrow when your meeting is over. Then we´ll see what we can do to help. One step at a time. Hugs, __________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya

10-20-2009, 02:48 PM	#15 (permalink)
*Morning Glory* Administrator Midi Golf Champion! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 1,601	Aimee, I have PTSD and I get shame attacks from time to time and I really believe that others hate me and think I am bothering them. I really have to work hard on self talk telling myself that it just isn't true. I know you have always worried about being a bother to others. I think you are a very sweet, kind person and can see nothing at all that would bother anyone. Keep talking positive to yourself instead of telling yourself all those negative things. I can tell you are pretty wonderful. Don't misinterpret your parents worry for rejection. If they didn't care they wouldn't be trying to help you. __________________ Pro 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

10-20-2009, 03:25 PM	#17 (permalink)
Lilya Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France Posts: 1,105	Yes, you can control your thoughts, even in a crisis. Use the word "choose" before each sentence. "I choose not to control my thoughts." As soon as you add "I choose", you´re on top. Share your thoughts, hold it together, use the word choose and report back to us. I think you´re very overwhelmed at the moment. I know that feeling too well. It´s a bad place to be, but it will pass. We´re here for you. __________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya

10-20-2009, 03:46 PM	#19 (permalink)
*Astro* Humble Door Greeter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, two families in a big new home! Posts: 9,283	Aimee, the thought of harming yourself might be appealing right now, or maybe you think it'll give you relief. Hurting yourself will solve nothing. Lilya's right, you always have the power of choice. I've been in a mental hospital, I've been crumpled up in a ball of fear on the floor of an empty apartment, I've stared out the windows for hours, paralyzed and afraid to move. It will pass Aimee, I wouldn't be here if it didn't improve over time. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

10-20-2009, 03:55 PM	#21 (permalink)
Rowan Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,974	Hi Aimee, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know it feels unbearable and overwhelming and that you're out of control - but you're safe. Right now, you're safe. You are sitting or standing and your feet are on the floor. Slow down. Take a breath. Feel your feet on the floor. Look around the room, become aware of your surroundings. Slow down. Breathe some more. I was in a psych hospital in July after a breakdown of sorts. I really understand how crazy-making this whole thing is. It's not you. It's not your fault. You're not alone. How about a plan? For just this moment. Have you eaten? Can you go get something to eat? A drink of water? Remember to take care of your very basic needs right now. You won't always feel this way. There is hope. Keep talking. Keep reaching out. Now - how about something to eat or drink? __________________

10-20-2009, 03:57 PM	#22 (permalink)
*Astro* Humble Door Greeter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, two families in a big new home! Posts: 9,283	Aimee, my experience has been that nothing worthwhile ever came without patience, effort, and continued willingness to reach out for help and support. Sending you a hug __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

10-20-2009, 04:02 PM	#24 (permalink)
Rowan Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,974	Stay safe, Aimee. __________________

10-20-2009, 04:16 PM	#25 (permalink)
Believe808 Miracles Happen Mahjongg Champion! Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 8,849	Aimee, you are so special honey, stay on the boards, talk to us, we are all here and want to help you, you have to trust us. We have all been where you are now and managed to get through it, please let us help you through it. Remember the last time you were feeling down Aimee, you started the thread "Please help me" please go back and read those posts, you got through the rough time you were having then, maybe if you read them you will see that just hanging in there, it will be better tomorrow. I will pray for you Aimee that you have some peace tonight, prayers always help me when I am so lost. __________________ She believed she could so she did.... FAITH makes all things possible...not easy

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