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10-20-2009, 07:33 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
| I will end it
I just can't bear this anymore...I think i'm getting better then it just all goes wrong again and they come to take me to decide that i am not normal for the time being and it's nboit fair.........I shouldnt even still be here i wasn't supposed to live past the age of 12 but somethign went wrong and now they have control of me and i dont know what to do i'm so lost i don't want it to be like this i'm not spoised to be here now it's all wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!!   |
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10-20-2009, 09:45 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France
Posts: 1,658
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RockyGirl, Please take up the phone and call a suicide hotline. Then come back and tell us you´re OK. You are not alone, we´re here for you.
__________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya |
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10-20-2009, 09:47 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
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I have an emergency assessment toormorrow with psych and cpn. They can't help tho me because theres nothing wrongn really it's just them at the moment theyve decided that i'm not acting right but they'll soon decidede to let me be normal for a whilee again then I can be nprmal for a while...i dont know how long for but i can't keep bothering peaple can i everyone knows about me that i am attention seeking no one believes a word that comes aout of me mouyth and they all stare at me to try and make me confess ohhh wahst happending ...    |
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10-20-2009, 09:58 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Wesley Employee Extraordinaire  Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kansas
Posts: 9,339
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__________________ DeVon & the Zoo Crew  Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. ~Arthur Somers Roche |
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10-20-2009, 11:26 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
Administrator |
Hi Aimee, Have you started any new medication recently? I think the assessment is really good. From your past posts it seems your parents really care about you. I don't think they are trying to harm you. I had a similar experience that you are having when I took Welbutrin to try to stop smoking. I'm sure they will be able to help you. It just might take a little time. We will all be waiting to hear how your appointment goes tomorrow.
__________________   “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.” “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!” “Come to the edge.” And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew. Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918 |
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10-20-2009, 11:35 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,830
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Aimee, please hang in there and do your best until your assessment tomorrow. You've got people that care about you, I hope you reach out for comfort and suuport.
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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10-20-2009, 12:17 PM
| #11 (permalink) | |||
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
| Quote:
I havent started any new medication im on the same meds i've been on for nearly a year now...i dont knopw why this is ahaappening!! My parents are in on it I think idont know i just so confused what is happeningg Quote:
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10-20-2009, 12:52 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,830
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Please keep talking to us Aimee, I don't think anyone wants to hurt you or see you hurt yourself.
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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10-20-2009, 12:59 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France
Posts: 1,658
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Take a deep breath and think of nice place you like a lot, or a person you love. Let that place or person be your safe haven for the moment. We will be here tomorrow when your meeting is over. Then we´ll see what we can do to help. One step at a time. Hugs,
__________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya |
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10-20-2009, 02:48 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
Administrator |
Aimee, I have PTSD and I get shame attacks from time to time and I really believe that others hate me and think I am bothering them. I really have to work hard on self talk telling myself that it just isn't true. I know you have always worried about being a bother to others. I think you are a very sweet, kind person and can see nothing at all that would bother anyone. Keep talking positive to yourself instead of telling yourself all those negative things. I can tell you are pretty wonderful. Don't misinterpret your parents worry for rejection. If they didn't care they wouldn't be trying to help you.
__________________ “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.” “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!” “Come to the edge.” And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew. Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918 |
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10-20-2009, 03:05 PM
| #16 (permalink) | |||
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
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10-20-2009, 03:25 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France
Posts: 1,658
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Yes, you can control your thoughts, even in a crisis. Use the word "choose" before each sentence. "I choose not to control my thoughts." As soon as you add "I choose", you´re on top. Share your thoughts, hold it together, use the word choose and report back to us. I think you´re very overwhelmed at the moment. I know that feeling too well. It´s a bad place to be, but it will pass. We´re here for you.
__________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya |
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10-20-2009, 03:42 PM
| #18 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
| Quote:
I dont want ti to pass, they like it and it wants to stay on | |
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10-20-2009, 03:46 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,830
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Aimee, the thought of harming yourself might be appealing right now, or maybe you think it'll give you relief. Hurting yourself will solve nothing. Lilya's right, you always have the power of choice. I've been in a mental hospital, I've been crumpled up in a ball of fear on the floor of an empty apartment, I've stared out the windows for hours, paralyzed and afraid to move. It will pass Aimee, I wouldn't be here if it didn't improve over time.
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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10-20-2009, 03:52 PM
| #20 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
| Quote:
but when?? I cant take it anywmore!:praying  | |
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10-20-2009, 03:55 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,138
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Hi Aimee, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know it feels unbearable and overwhelming and that you're out of control - but you're safe. Right now, you're safe. You are sitting or standing and your feet are on the floor. Slow down. Take a breath. Feel your feet on the floor. Look around the room, become aware of your surroundings. Slow down. Breathe some more. I was in a psych hospital in July after a breakdown of sorts. I really understand how crazy-making this whole thing is. It's not you. It's not your fault. You're not alone. How about a plan? For just this moment. Have you eaten? Can you go get something to eat? A drink of water? Remember to take care of your very basic needs right now. You won't always feel this way. There is hope. Keep talking. Keep reaching out. Now - how about something to eat or drink? |
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10-20-2009, 03:57 PM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,830
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Aimee, my experience has been that nothing worthwhile ever came without patience, effort, and continued willingness to reach out for help and support. Sending you a hug 
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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10-20-2009, 03:58 PM
| #23 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
| Quote:
I'm soo sorry i feel like a failure....but this world isnt mine i cant see it, im not really here ican't be...i don't know whats going on in my head... I have to go noww im sorryy...i will try to write aagian after my meetign tomrrorow!! thank youu all! | |
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10-20-2009, 04:16 PM
| #25 (permalink) |
| Miracles Happen Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
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Aimee, you are so special honey, stay on the boards, talk to us, we are all here and want to help you, you have to trust us. We have all been where you are now and managed to get through it, please let us help you through it. Remember the last time you were feeling down Aimee, you started the thread "Please help me" please go back and read those posts, you got through the rough time you were having then, maybe if you read them you will see that just hanging in there, it will be better tomorrow. I will pray for you Aimee that you have some peace tonight, prayers always help me when I am so lost. |
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