Does anyone else have problems like this?

[Rancorous]

Ok, so I got out of work today after giving a kid a ride home. I work at a thrift store, so a lot of the other employees are fresh out of high school. Since I just went back to college...thats also the age of kid i'm going to school with. It got me thinking that its one of those things that is making it more difficult for me to make friends--theres nobody my freakin' age! Most people think age differences that big are weird. Not that i'm that old, i'm 23, but I guess its big enough to work against me in some way compounded with my mental illness. I had a harder time getting my life together at that age so now theres a disconnect between me and most other people my age group and theres also a rift between me and the 18-19 year old kids i'm attending school/working with. I don't really have much of anything in common with either age group, I feel like i'm in some other category altogether. So, basically I feel like an alien with three heads. :\

Does anyone else have this problem?

Comments, advice?

[Overman]

I don't think the age difference is a big issue.

I would be more interested in knowing about how your addiction issues impact your mental health problems.

[totfit]

I think a lot of us feel this way no matter what the "age" difference. We somehow feel that we don't fit or that we are different. Our wants, needs, desires, even addictions are different from others. We tend to look for the most apparent difference we see first. I think first and foremost I have to become more comfortable with my self before I stop feeling like an "alien with three heads."

[OceanBound]

I started college at 21 so I know what you are talking about. That year I hung out mostly with seniors. By my sophomore year, my peers "grew up" a little so it was easier to make friends with them.

[steamvessel]

If you make friends with them now then in a few years you will hardly notice the age difference, I wouldn't have that as a barrier. But, yes, I can relate to having trouble making friends in a work environment because you are kind of stuck with what you get.

Also I think there is a false illusion of feeling old for some reason in your twenties, I went through that as well. Once I got past 25 (especially after 30) I didn't feel so old and kind of went backwards. I wouldn't worry about your age. It might be some sort of ego thing you are protecting, like I shouldn't be hanging out with these kids because I am so much more mature than them, that could be going on. A friend is a friend though, age doesn't make a difference, especially not 4 or 5 years.

[ClayTheScribe]

Ranc, I hear you completely. But you know I started college at the age of 18 at a school where the median age of the student body is 23. I made friends with people who were 22, 23, even 25 and 27 and they seemed to enjoy being friends with me. You know why? 'Cause we had things in common and could have stimulating discussions and make each other laugh. That's more important. I was more mature for my age, but it's possible to make friends with people younger than you and think what they could learn from you! And don't write off all people your age. I'm 24 and sure we would get along as friends just fine in person. The important thing is to start doing things you enjoy. Like I said join a club, a team, a staff, volunteer, get involved at school. That's how you really make friends. And don't isolate yourself because "no one else has been through what you've been through." I did that and it got me no friends. Everyone's struggle is unique and there's something to learn from everyone. I think you need to focus on just not feeling like an alien to yourself. And since you said you might have dissociative disorder, you need to make all the more effort to find friends. Otherwise you get addicted to your loneliness and you go crazier.

[Rancorous]

I understand that you can have things in common with people of any age, honestly, i'm not even sure why its such an issue for me. Maturity really has little to do with age. Its a matter of finding the right people, I just don't know where they're hiding.