Irrational Anger

[poesuicide]

I'm not sure what else to call it. I've had it since I was a kid. I can't control it, and it's ruining my life.

I feel this uncontrollable urge to lash out when I feel threatened in any way. If I don't think someone is being fair to me, I yell. I don't mean necessarily raising my voice, though I sometimes do. I angrily say whatever I feel, whether it's to my boss at work or police officer or whatever. I lose all sense of rationale and just blow up. I don't *usually* physically hit anything. I just say, or type, whatever comes to mind without thinking of the consequences. I'm so mad, I just don't care. I get this horrible FU attitude and I DON'T WANT IT!

I hope someone here can give me some insight. I was an angry kid too. I used to get slapped in the mouth for "talking back" and yelling all the time. I can't help it. It makes me crazy when someone disagrees, criticizes, or yells at me. Note- I wasn't one of those crazy kids who get in trouble and throw tantrums. I just get angry and "talk back". I did then and I still do now at 25.

I have a whole slew of other problems, if that makes any difference, including Agoraphobia/social anxiety. Could this be a side effect of something else or am I just totally messed up? It's very difficult for me to hold a job between social ineptitude and anger.

[ScaryStory]

I'm assuming your on medication. I understand what you're feeling. I think therapy might be a good thing for you. How long do you have in the program? Have you worked all the steps? The steps and the program help us to start being better people and we see our shortcomings. I thought I didn't have any until I got to Step 7. I was relieved to find out what was wrong with me.

I think you're right on track cause you realize and are admitting these faults. I just can't give you the guidance you need that's why I mentioned a therapist. I hope you don't get mad that I said that. Personally I hate therapy so I'm contradicting myself.

Good luck.

[poesuicide]

Haha no, I don't get mad that easily- I just go overboard when I do get mad. If you were being sarcastic or talking down to me, that would be a whole different story.

Thanks for the reply.

[ClayTheScribe]

poe, it's very possible you have a mood disorder/bipolar disorder that's not being managed properly and you need to be on a medication or some medications to calm you down. Find a psychiatrist and a therapist to talk to. They can also help you with your social anxiety.

To calm yourself I'd recommend regularly doing deep breathing exercises. The one that calms me is breathing in for three seconds, holding your breath for three seconds and then breathing out. Do this for about 4-5 minutes when you feel angry. I also when I feel angry just start counting from 1. It seems to help. Also, try meditation. There's plenty of exercises to follow out there on the web. Also, cut back on your sugar and red meat intake. I've found those really affect my mood in a negative way.

[Overman]

Poe,
are you using alcohol or other drugs?

I mean, this is a 'sober recovery' forum, even though it is a mental health sub-forum.

Take care...