BPersonality Disorder-need help

[Wolfstarr]

I am having an issue with a coworker with BPD.
She has experienced two deaths of close friends, both overdosed, very recently. I am not certain if she is an addict; however, she has been taking meds at work and I just learned today she came back from lunch after having several drinks.
She has threatened suicide and I reacted very upset. She begged me not to tell anyone, it was "told to me in confidence". When I did tell someone, she flipped out. I was visibly upset and it showed at work. I wouldn't keep her secret and when asked by my Manager why I was upset, I told her. I feel it very unfair and very disturbing that someone would ask that not to be discussed.
An email was sent out by HR, urging anyone with problems to contact the EAP.

She cleaned out her desk today before she left, making sure the person sitting next to her saw.

What I would like to know, is, what is the Borderline Personality sufferer looking for with this type of behavior? I am at wits end with this and I think I am feeling the way she wants me to feel--guilty and falling into the cat mouse game and me being her prey, being "sucked in" so to speak. She is plainly suffering but wants no help.
I would so appreciate a BPD sufferer or someone who has dealt with this to help. I want to help her but she flatly stated she does not want help. My next step is to call the police and have her Baker-Acted.

Any suggestions, help, support would be appreciated.

[suki44883]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Borderline Personality Disorder is devastating both the the sufferer and their loved ones. There are several websites that explain what it is and the symptoms. This one is especially good.

NIMH · Borderline Personality Disorder

Therapy is highly recommended for this disorder. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been very successful. However, it can take years to make progress, just as it took years for the BPD sufferer to think the way they do.

Good luck to you.

[evmdimples]

Is your co-worker in therapy? BPD is not treated with medication but rather therapy. Medication can be for co-occurring disorders. DBT is one of the successful therapies used for BPD. As stated by suki, it takes years, and it takes a willingness on the bpd's part to participate in their own recovery and work it 24/7. And loved ones also need to be involved in the recovery process for it to be successful. BPD is a heart-breaking disorder, usually one that is borne from childhood traumas/abuses; I experienced it with my exgf. Here's the site I visit frequently as I continue to recover from the remaining emotional damage from that relationship: http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/...vabuse.shtmltp

((hugs)) and good luck to you.

[Wolfstarr]

Thank you both for your very informative responses.
She is not currently in therapy, but she has been in the past.

I just learned from another coworker that she did attempt suicide last night. Took several xanax, ambien, otc meds and she was drinking. She fell asleep then threw up, and was mad that it didn't "work". She then got scared, trembling and shaking, and called coworker for help. The coworker persuaded her to call EAP, and she did. She still has to get through the weekend.

This person scares me. She need intensive therapy and needs it NOW. If she calls again, I am calling the police for Baker Acting her. She is now a definite danger to herself.

Any other input would be appreciated, as this is becoming something very scary to me and my welfare.
(Thank you, dimples and suki.)

[ranae1221]

Hi Wolfstar,

I was dx with BPD about 10 years ago. When it was at it's worst though, I was the opposite of your co-worker. I never really acted out, but reacted in. Meaning I rarely would take it out on others but take it out on myself. I never threatened to hurt myself as a way to control the other person or get something I wanted.

Most likely, your co-worker wouldn't be able to tell you why she acts the way she does at times. She doesn't understand what she is feeling or why, just knows that she is trying to find a way to escape from the pain and fear.

Hopefully after her most recent episode, she will be forced to get some help. While that in itself doesn't mean she will recover, there will be someone (either doc or therapist) to oversee her treatment.

This is a good site that may have information that may help: BPD Central - borderline personality disorder - books, cds, info, support, resources, links