Not sure how to start...

[28Days]

Hi all, not new to SR, but new to this room...No where else to really turn to..

I sat here, and typed what I wanted to say probably...4 different times. It never came out right. Either I said too much..or I felt like no one really cared about what I had to say.

It's been a long time since I've been here...Maybe this is all I can expect from my life. I live everyday..so tired..I can barely make it through the day and all I want to do is sleep in peace. But sleep is never peaceful anymore. I wake up every hour...toss and turn..and get up in the morning feeling worse than before. I don't have the energy to even fake that smile anymore..

I've been down this road before...But I feel there's no more paths to take. Today, I packed up some of my apartment, preparing to move back home after college..And I was overcome with...grief..It almost felt like...by packing up my apartment..I was packing away all my hopes and dreams and plans that I had had with my addict...and it was really goodbye...

What happens when you got to the light at the end of the tunnel...just for the lightbulb to burn out?

[suki44883]

I don't know your "story," but it sounds like you might have some unresolved issues going on. Don't worry, what you're feeling is pretty normal. You are still quite young. There will be many crossroads in life and moving back home after college is just one of those. Are you moving back in with your parents? That, in itself, can feel like a bit of a let down after being out on your own for a while.

Don't think people here don't care about what you have to say. That's what this board is all about. We do care, and we'll do whatever we can to help you figure things out. There are always new paths to take, but sometimes, it takes time to figure out which path is the right one. Don't rush things. Take your time and allow yourself a bit of breathing room.

Keep posting and reading here. We are here to help.

[28Days]

I do have a lot of issues...a lot of unanswered questions, and feelings still open and hurt. Repairing myself, my life and my heart after my addict came through and tore it all up, ya know...I just thought that I had beat this...I went through severe depressiong growing up after the loss of my father...I never thought I`d be back at that....
No, I`m not moving back in with my mom. Well, I am for a bit, until I find a place with one of my best guy friends.

I just feel so stupid. Why am I still hurting and missing and wishing over a guy that has so clearly made himself the enemy...that isn`t sitting there hurting over me...that doesn`t miss me....that has, in all honesty...been dead for quite some time...

[spittake]

Are you in therapy? Finding the right therapist can be just what a person with psychological/psychiatric difficulties needs. It has done wonders for me, but I've burned through 6 different therapists in my life, so it's not as though I don't understand skepticism.

Damn, I sound so trite, but these things have really worked for me, I swear!

[28Days]

No, I've never actually been a fan of therapy and the like. It never seems to go too well for me. Plus, I'm an art student, haha, money is more than an issue. (Vive la vi boheme, right?).

[discontentmiser]

hee hee
boheme, as dipicted in the movies, seems like people who spend all their time getting drunk/high/etc., talking about love and are too poor to pay the rent.

back on track

yeah, depression sucks.

I'm just outta mine, after nearly a year (really bad) or so

so, yeah, sleeping for an eternity would be great, but it's not gonna happen.

I can tell you, IT DOES END, or at least it becomes different.

I'm now on wellbutin, which also really helps.

also, self-care is a biggie. You could be tired and depressed and think nothin's worth it, but you deserve to be clean and fed.

good luck