I think I could do and have done all the right things

[mxchaos]

and Bipolar is still going to win. my moods are xtreme again and I've been trying so hard to fight...be healthy...stay sober for what????a good case of the f*ck its

[readyforhelp]

.

[eoghanacht]

mx, hi. Not sure if I understood your post? Are you saying the bipolar is getting worse? Sorry if it is, what have you tried so far?
me

[mxchaos]

Yah my mood are headed to the xtreme and I've gone to meetings see my doc's and take my meds plus excerse and do DBT. Yet it doesn't seem to help
I'm tired of fighting it

[eoghanacht]

Have you told your doc that nothing seems to help? If you have a Psych worker, have you told them? Do you have any local Helplines that you can call for advice?

[tigers13]

mx, the f it's are really bad and hard to get past. When this is happening, it's so easy to pick up the bottle again to try to make your problems go away...but it doesn't...it just postpones them. Stay strong, talk to your doc, and remember...just one day at a time.

[least]

I know that feeling all too well. My depression has gotten much worse lately. It's all I can do to stay sober. All I can say is "hang on" and remember how much worse drinking will make everything. I'm thinking of you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love ya!

[Bamboozle]

mx, please hang in there.

If your doctor sucks get a new one.

Please tell all the professionals you deal with exactly what's going on and that nothing's working.

[mxchaos]

Thank you all
staying sober is easy for me
It's my self destructive side that is raging.
I'm staying close to my team of docs and trying not to listen to those voices.
It just seems so much easier to go crazy

[Bamboozle]

(((mx)))

[spittake]

Mx,

Hang in there! My depression relapsed for about a month, though it had been building for some time leading up.

My psych tweaked my meds, he interrupted them for a week, then put me right back where I was. I'm taking the one med, and it has completely turned my depression around. I'm improving in all the important ways! I haven't wanted to self-destruct in more months than I ever thought possible!

I don't have the mania element, but the depression is bad enough, I would do anything it takes to have some balance.

[ClayTheScribe]

Originally Posted by mxchaos

Yah my mood are headed to the xtreme and I've gone to meetings see my doc's and take my meds plus excerse and do DBT. Yet it doesn't seem to help
I'm tired of fighting it

This may seem like unconventional advice, but don't fight it then. That doesn't mean giving it up and ending it all but often we depressed people suffer because we try to fight our illness rather than just let it pass. A friend of mine recently said that I shouldn't rush through my depression because it just grows and falls back on top of you. She was glad her depression took as long as it did because that's what she needed. The thoughts produced in your mind that lead to your extreme mood swings are just passing events of the mind. You have to let them come and go and pass in your mind's eye. Fighting them gives them attention and they grow. This is where meditation comes in. The book The Mindful Way Through Depression has a lot of meditation exercises specifically geared toward people with depression and mental disorders. Not fighting it doesn't mean giving up your therapy and other techniques, in fact you might want to step them up. Make sure you're getting enough out of therapy, and only you can do that. Just try not being at odds so much with the manic depression and see it as something that will fade away with mindfulness techniques and what else you're doing.

As far as the self-destructive part, that's normal and I struggle with it too on a daily basis. You have to acknowledge those negative thoughts, label them, and then reaffirm the truth. Just think of how you could or are hurting your loved ones by acting on the self-destructive urges. That's just your disease talking. Acknowledge that it's there but then let it pass. Gradually they grow quieter. You deserve to be happy and don't be fooled by your disorder that you don't. We're all here for you and we want to see you get out of this.

That may not be what you want to hear right now, but once I realized to stop fighting the depression and let it pass as it came, I started to feel better.

Good luck and don't give up!

[mxchaos]

Originally Posted by ClayTheScribe

This may seem like unconventional advice, but don't fight it then. That doesn't mean giving it up and ending it all but often we depressed people suffer because we try to fight our illness rather than just let it pass. A friend of mine recently said that I shouldn't rush through my depression because it just grows and falls back on top of you. She was glad her depression took as long as it did because that's what she needed. The thoughts produced in your mind that lead to your extreme mood swings are just passing events of the mind. You have to let them come and go and pass in your mind's eye. Fighting them gives them attention and they grow. This is where meditation comes in. The book The Mindful Way Through Depression has a lot of meditation exercises specifically geared toward people with depression and mental disorders. Not fighting it doesn't mean giving up your therapy and other techniques, in fact you might want to step them up. Make sure you're getting enough out of therapy, and only you can do that. Just try not being at odds so much with the manic depression and see it as something that will fade away with mindfulness techniques and what else you're doing.

As far as the self-destructive part, that's normal and I struggle with it too on a daily basis. You have to acknowledge those negative thoughts, label them, and then reaffirm the truth. Just think of how you could or are hurting your loved ones by acting on the self-destructive urges. That's just your disease talking. Acknowledge that it's there but then let it pass. Gradually they grow quieter. You deserve to be happy and don't be fooled by your disorder that you don't. We're all here for you and we want to see you get out of this.

That may not be what you want to hear right now, but once I realized to stop fighting the depression and let it pass as it came, I started to feel better.

Good luck and don't give up!

thanks for reminding me. My tdoc is always telling me to just sit with my feelings because they really can't kill me. I get so rapped up with it all that I have to act. I do it with out thinking.

thank you all for being here for me
it's nice to hear from others that i may be just as normal as the rest of you.