Stuck in therapy

[ClayTheScribe]

Originally Posted by Bamboozle

I did ask her. She answered right away. I have made progress, but she told me what I needed to work on...mostly how I'm still kicking myself in the @ss.

I'm with you on that one. Depression is tricky with that one. That just takes refuting the negative distortions about yourself and re-affirming the truth, that there's no reason to tear yourself down.

[Bamboozle]

I bought a book two days ago...I'm reading it here and there. It's Self-Esteem (3rd. e.) by Matthew McKay (Ph.D) and Patrick Fanning.

I'm only 40 pages in, but so far it's pretty good. I find myself groaning nearly every page...it's as if this book is talking about me.

A year ago I would have felt silly doing self-affirmations. It is out of character for me, but I'm willing to try anything at this point because doing things the way I was obviously wasn't helping. I'll sit down when I get a moment and just write...think of every single positive thing about me...and tell myself that I'm just as important as everyone else and that I deserve to be happy. It still sounds a little cheesy to me...but what are my options? Hmm...continue to live in misery with myself...or make peace with myself?

So far the book mentions giving a name to the inner critic and basically learning to call it out on its bullsh!t. I think I'll name mine @sshole or f*cker, or maybe f*cking @sshole.

[ClayTheScribe]

Originally Posted by Bamboozle

I bought a book two days ago...I'm reading it here and there. It's Self-Esteem (3rd. e.) by Matthew McKay (Ph.D) and Patrick Fanning.

I'm only 40 pages in, but so far it's pretty good. I find myself groaning nearly every page...it's as if this book is talking about me.

A year ago I would have felt silly doing self-affirmations. It is out of character for me, but I'm willing to try anything at this point because doing things the way I was obviously wasn't helping. I'll sit down when I get a moment and just write...think of every single positive thing about me...and tell myself that I'm just as important as everyone else and that I deserve to be happy. It still sounds a little cheesy to me...but what are my options? Hmm...continue to live in misery with myself...or make peace with myself?

So far the book mentions giving a name to the inner critic and basically learning to call it out on its bullsh!t. I think I'll name mine @sshole or f*cker, or maybe f*cking @sshole.

I'm really glad that you're sounding more upbeat and seeing the logic of helping build yourself up, and the illogicality of the depression.

That sounds like a great book. Immerse yourself in it.

I'd also like to recommend two books for you and anyone else struggling with depression. The first is The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. Despite it's seemingly simple title, this book has a lot of constructive self-esteem building exercises and other exercises that help you monitor and categorize your moods and thoughts. The other book is The Mindful Way Through Depression. It was written by four leading psychologists who blend CBT and mindfulness. Very helpful. And it comes with a CD with meditation exercises led by Jon Kabat-Zinn, a psychologist and certified meditation teacher. Both book are about $20 and well worth it. Supplementing your therapy with books and articles is great and makes your therapist's job easier, but most of all, leads you to happier days.

I empathize with you when you talk about groaning as you read. I did the same thing when I read the above books and at times it made me furious to hear such clear-cut advice. That was the push and pull between my healthy mind and the depression and the longer you give it thought, the more you get it and can put it to work.

Keep on the track you're on Bam. I'd wish you good luck, but you're not going to need it, especially when you're behind the driver's seat, driving out of that dark tunnel.

[evmdimples]

The Mindful Way through Depression is an excellent book; the concepts presented are nuggets of simple truths, easy to understand and to apply to everyday life.
hugs,
e

[MCake]

Originally Posted by Bamboozle

A year ago I would have felt silly doing self-affirmations. It is out of character for me, but I'm willing to try anything at this point because doing things the way I was obviously wasn't helping. I'll sit down when I get a moment and just write...think of every single positive thing about me...and tell myself that I'm just as important as everyone else and that I deserve to be happy. It still sounds a little cheesy to me...but what are my options? Hmm...continue to live in misery with myself...or make peace with myself?

Hey Bam.. IME affirmations and visualization are really powerful tools. They probably sound new agey and trendy these days (thanks to The Secret etc) but they've been used for a very long time. If you believe that your mind creates your existence, and that experience is a mental process, it's pretty easy to see how these techniques work. Hugs! M.