Message Boards and Forums Directory

Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Mental Health Issues > Mental Health
Forgot Password? Join Us!
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room [1]


Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community

Already registered? Login above ---^

OR

To take advantage of all the site’s features, become a member of the supportive Sober Recovery Community. Ads will no longer appear on the forums if you are a registered user



Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-05-2009, 08:41 AM   #1 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
Just when I think I've got a handle on life

My moods start going hay wire.. My eating and Ana start kicking in and the voices come back. So just for today I will try to eat take my meds and find a meeting........ I can't afford to end up in the hospital now..... I have a great job and have been working out alot. I like my new life why does this have to happen now. Bipolar sucks
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2009, 10:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
I got nothin'
 
Bamboozle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,776
Blog Entries: 14
(((mxchaos)))
__________________
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
Bamboozle is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2009, 04:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
I know how you feel that happened to me not too long ago and I ended up in hospital for the first time. I am on the up again now but still anxious because my moods can change with the drop of a hairpin

love to you mxchaos and hope everything gets better for you very soon!
RockyGirl is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2009, 02:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
The thing that gets me the most is I live a totally new life except for the Ana. I'm clean and sober I don't abuse my meds and I take them as prescribed and see my team weekly along with meditation and exercise plus I'm working at a job I love so why is this still happening to me? I feel ashamed that I'm have these thoughts and feelings. and wonder how long I have f=before I start acting impulsivily again. where is serinity?
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2009, 02:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
thanks it helps to have people hear me
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2009, 04:48 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Brighton, England
Posts: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by mxchaos View Post
The thing that gets me the most is I live a totally new life except for the Ana. I'm clean and sober I don't abuse my meds and I take them as prescribed and see my team weekly along with meditation and exercise plus I'm working at a job I love so why is this still happening to me? I feel ashamed that I'm have these thoughts and feelings. and wonder how long I have f=before I start acting impulsivily again. where is serinity?
That's what happened to me I was doing okay with meds etc and I had just got a job I had wanted for over 3 years and it seemed to all be going well... I even lost a bit of weight...but then for no reason at all it just went down the drain...

try to stay strong and it's good that at least you know that you are feeling a bit funny at the moment...mention this to your team!

Good luck to you friend:ghug
RockyGirl is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2009, 04:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
13 May 2009
 
martha27's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 83
mx chaos,

I have bipolar 1 and I totally feel for you there is nothing fair about it. i had a psychotic espisode the other week completely out of the blue and at the moment I am saintly, taking my meds, no booz, no drugs etc...so why??

I guess I have this to share with you, I think b/c of past really bad experiences I got very fearful, I am sure you have terrible memories, just as I do where your mood became unblanaced and your life went down the toilet and you ended up in hospital or worse

However this is not like it was before, you mood may be unbalanced, but you have your doctor, you are taking your meds, you are not drinking, you have identified the problem very early. Therefore the treatment is not as severe and the results of tweaking your meds will act far quicker.

After my episode the other week I went straight the the doctor, I changed my meds and upped others and 2 weeks later I am feeling much better and back on track, in the past when this happened I would derail my life 6 months - 1 year and do a hell of a lot of damage while I was at it. I can live with a 2 weeks turn around.

The situation has changed, things have been going well...you are not drinking, so you will be far more aware of your moods and the good news is you are aware of what is happening and able to see it objectively for what it is a mood imbalance. Just hang in there, I was nearly slashing my wrists two weeks ago and using my psychic powers! only to be sane and on top of things 2 weeks later...just give youself a few weeks and keep the stress levels low, sleep up and see your doctor and I think you will find all of your good work will have paid off (sobriety etc) and you will turn around far quicker than in the past.
__________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
martha27 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2009, 08:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
ClayTheScribe's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 616
Blog Entries: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by mxchaos View Post
The thing that gets me the most is I live a totally new life except for the Ana. I'm clean and sober I don't abuse my meds and I take them as prescribed and see my team weekly along with meditation and exercise plus I'm working at a job I love so why is this still happening to me? I feel ashamed that I'm have these thoughts and feelings. and wonder how long I have f=before I start acting impulsivily again. where is serinity?
Do not feel ashamed about your thoughts. Not only are they just thoughts--passing events of the mind--but they're a product of your illness. You wouldn't tell a cancer patient she should feel shameful for feeling pain or having negative thoughts. You've got to catch those thoughts when you see them, label them as irrational or impulsive, reaffirm the truth, and let them go on their merry way. No matter how alarming or important they may seem, they're not, they're just thoughts. Every one of us here has negative, hurtful, impulsive and/or irrational thoughts, but they have no power over us unless we let them. And never be ashamed of your feelings either. Just let them come, observe them, label them and let them go. The more you do that, the closer you are to serenity.
__________________
“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
-Ray Bradbury
ClayTheScribe is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2009, 01:29 AM   #9 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
Quote:
Originally Posted by martha27 View Post
mx chaos,

I have bipolar 1 and I totally feel for you there is nothing fair about it. i had a psychotic espisode the other week completely out of the blue and at the moment I am saintly, taking my meds, no booz, no drugs etc...so why??

I guess I have this to share with you, I think b/c of past really bad experiences I got very fearful, I am sure you have terrible memories, just as I do where your mood became unblanaced and your life went down the toilet and you ended up in hospital or worse

However this is not like it was before, you mood may be unbalanced, but you have your doctor, you are taking your meds, you are not drinking, you have identified the problem very early. Therefore the treatment is not as severe and the results of tweaking your meds will act far quicker.

After my episode the other week I went straight the the doctor, I changed my meds and upped others and 2 weeks later I am feeling much better and back on track, in the past when this happened I would derail my life 6 months - 1 year and do a hell of a lot of damage while I was at it. I can live with a 2 weeks turn around.

The situation has changed, things have been going well...you are not drinking, so you will be far more aware of your moods and the good news is you are aware of what is happening and able to see it objectively for what it is a mood imbalance. Just hang in there, I was nearly slashing my wrists two weeks ago and using my psychic powers! only to be sane and on top of things 2 weeks later...just give youself a few weeks and keep the stress levels low, sleep up and see your doctor and I think you will find all of your good work will have paid off (sobriety etc) and you will turn around far quicker than in the past.
Thank you so much it means the world to me that you shared not that I'm glad you got bad again but for reminding me that fairytale endings are just that and Im going to have to work to stay well.
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2009, 01:30 AM   #10 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClayTheScribe View Post
Do not feel ashamed about your thoughts. Not only are they just thoughts--passing events of the mind--but they're a product of your illness. You wouldn't tell a cancer patient she should feel shameful for feeling pain or having negative thoughts. You've got to catch those thoughts when you see them, label them as irrational or impulsive, reaffirm the truth, and let them go on their merry way. No matter how alarming or important they may seem, they're not, they're just thoughts. Every one of us here has negative, hurtful, impulsive and/or irrational thoughts, but they have no power over us unless we let them. And never be ashamed of your feelings either. Just let them come, observe them, label them and let them go. The more you do that, the closer you are to serenity.
Thank you

I do have a hard time with remembering that thoughts are just that and everybody has them. I just need to learn to let them go.
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2009, 01:32 AM   #11 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
So much get insight from you and I can't thank you all enough for helping see the path in front of me.
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2009, 05:18 AM   #12 (permalink)
I got nothin'
 
Bamboozle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,776
Blog Entries: 14
Hey, mx...how are you doing today?
__________________
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
Bamboozle is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2009, 01:54 AM   #13 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
Ok.......... learning that I'm a very sensitive person and am highly emotional. Also trying to learn what is a feeling and what is just a thought........... oh,,,,,,,,,,, and what is situational.

still working hard to stay ontop of my moods and not go back to sick thinking.
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2009, 02:08 AM   #14 (permalink)
I got nothin'
 
Bamboozle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,776
Blog Entries: 14
I'm very sensitive and emotional, too.

Not much I can do about the emotions...it seems to do what it wants...but I can recognize my irrational thoughts more now.

I don't have bipolar but I do have depression. My moods can fluctuate a lot.

I'm going to try telling myself this the next time the irrational thoughts enter: "Bam, you have no obligation to act upon these thoughts. You have no obligation to believe these thoughts are valid."

I'll repeat it as much as I need to.
__________________
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
Bamboozle is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2009, 02:17 AM   #15 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
very helpful but learning to spot irrational thoughts is tough work
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2009, 12:44 AM   #16 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
feeling out of control with emotions on the verge of Panic
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2009, 11:33 PM   #17 (permalink)
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: butte mt
Posts: 10,933
Blog Entries: 7
{{{{{{{{{mx}}}}}}}

we take a breath ... and then go do the dishes.
At my house, at least, dishes... are quite substantial.

You've come so FAR since we first met, hon.
I'm so proud of you!
We're exactly where we're supposed to be.
We're gonna be okay.

You have friends now.
You got us.

{{{{{{{{ big hug}}}}}}}}}



the more we learn, the harder it is to go back.
__________________
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.
barb dwyer is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2009, 02:13 AM   #18 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
Quote:
Originally Posted by barb dwyer View Post
{{{{{{{{{mx}}}}}}}

we take a breath ... and then go do the dishes.
At my house, at least, dishes... are quite substantial.

You've come so FAR since we first met, hon.
I'm so proud of you!
We're exactly where we're supposed to be.
We're gonna be okay.

You have friends now.
You got us.

{{{{{{{{ big hug}}}}}}}}}



the more we learn, the harder it is to go back.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Big hug for you my friend}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
so true I'm having a rough time but some how able to stay afloat this year without going to the hospital for months. Without you guys and my great T I'd still be living in fulltime hell now it's partime hell and that should be ok right?
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2009, 03:34 AM   #19 (permalink)
I got nothin'
 
Bamboozle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,776
Blog Entries: 14
Keep hanging on, mx. Part time hell is better than full time hell, but part time hell still sucks.

Whenever my depression rears its ugly head I ride it out. I smoke a bunch of cigarettes and cry. I know smoking's bad, but at least I'm not drinking the bad feelings away.


__________________
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
Bamboozle is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2009, 11:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
keeping really busy yesterday helped didn't have time to think or feel. I'm betting my Tdoc will tell me I'm better than I think and I don't give myself enough credit. Emotions just suck all my good energy out.

Glad that drinking hasn't been an issue for a year I haven't even thought of going that route.
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2009, 06:20 AM   #21 (permalink)
I got nothin'
 
Bamboozle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,776
Blog Entries: 14
My therapist is always getting on my case because of my self-loathing. I'm working on it.

Focusing on positive aspects helps. mx, I know it might sound corny, but maybe write down a list of all of your good qualities and pull it out and read it whenever you are feeling crappy.


Good job on the year of sobriety!
__________________
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
Bamboozle is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2009, 12:41 AM   #22 (permalink)
live to ride ride to live
 
mxchaos's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
So Tdoc said to quit betting myself up and not just fill my time but do things that are social and fun. It's hard to do those things when you don't feel like it but like everything else I've done this year He said to just DO IT! Yuck.
mxchaos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:30 AM.


 
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
 
Drug Rehab | Best Treatment Center | Detox Center | Treatment Center | Cocaine Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin Treatment Center | Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment
 
Local Treatment Resources and Events
 
Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | DC | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota Tennesee | Texas Utah | Vermont Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming

© 2011 Recovery Marketing Services, Inc.
A proud member of the SoberRecovery® Network of Addiction and Recovery Websites

The SoberRecovery Forums are operated under an anonymous grant and is maintained by MyNew Technologies Development


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112