Dont want to take anti-depressents but...

[otterbearcat]

I am so severely depressed right.
I am losing my job at the end of the month, I might be breaking up my significant other who has been most of my support as well.
I have no family, most of my friends were 'drinking buddies', and now that Im not drinking I cant be around some of them because they have bad boundaries or cant relate. So Im left with a couple good friends that live on the other side of the country, a couple aquaintices, a couple a people that I dont think I can be friends with anymore because I only really like them when I drinking.

I went to the store last night to get diet soda and ramen noodles. Ive started drinking the soda bc I need to something to open and have in my hands sometimes, and Im already having 4 cups of tea. Ramen noodles bc Im about to be completley broke.

So back to the point... I am looking at the seasonal beers thinking, mmm, I cant wait til I can drink again, then I think I want one, so I consider beering a six pack of na beer, end the I buy a 6 pack of vanilla cream soda bc they are out of rootbeer. Cost the same as cheap beer btw.

So Ive gained back some of the weight I orginally lost when I first quit drinking bc now Im drinking soda, over eating, eating tons of ice cream, when all i want to drink and be numb.


Did I mention I ramble and my stories are always waaaaaaaay too long?

I dont want to be an anti-depressants but if I lose the main support in my life on top of being unemployed, I dont know how Im not gonna drink.

[suki44883]

Anti-depressants won't keep you from drinking. I should know...I took anti-depressants for 20 years while I kept right on drinking daily. They also won't work if you drink so it would just be a huge waste of money.

[Sweets79]

Originally Posted by otterbearcat

I am so severely depressed right.
I am losing my job at the end of the month, I might be breaking up my significant other who has been most of my support as well.
I have no family, most of my friends were 'drinking buddies', and now that Im not drinking I cant be around some of them because they have bad boundaries or cant relate. So Im left with a couple good friends that live on the other side of the country, a couple aquaintices, a couple a people that I dont think I can be friends with anymore because I only really like them when I drinking.

I went to the store last night to get diet soda and ramen noodles. Ive started drinking the soda bc I need to something to open and have in my hands sometimes, and Im already having 4 cups of tea. Ramen noodles bc Im about to be completley broke.

So back to the point... I am looking at the seasonal beers thinking, mmm, I cant wait til I can drink again, then I think I want one, so I consider beering a six pack of na beer, end the I buy a 6 pack of vanilla cream soda bc they are out of rootbeer. Cost the same as cheap beer btw.

So Ive gained back some of the weight I orginally lost when I first quit drinking bc now Im drinking soda, over eating, eating tons of ice cream, when all i want to drink and be numb.


Did I mention I ramble and my stories are always waaaaaaaay too long?

I dont want to be an anti-depressants but if I lose the main support in my life on top of being unemployed, I dont know how Im not gonna drink.

Hi,

I don't know if you've seen any of my other posts, but I am not a big fan of AD's. They seem to work for tons of people, but I always get a severe physical and mental reaction from them.

I have 2 months sober, and I have had depression for most of my life. When I first stopped drinking everything hit me like a ton of bricks. I still deal with anxiety and depression, but it seems to be improving slightly. I am trying to improve my depression by reading self-help books and excersise. Plus I am trying to find new hobbies and things I like to do. Your situation sounds very difficult and I don't expect you to have the motivation do these things. I gave it some time and I started to function better. There were also other times, I found it EXTREMELY hard to pull myself out of it.

If you feel you really need something to get a jump start, talk with your D.R. and see what he/she prescribes. You never know, you might have little to no side affects. There are also natural AD's such as St. Johns Wort and something called 5 htp I believe. Don't quote me on the last one, not quite sure if that's the right name. I was looking into trying something natural. They have side affects also, so just research them before you start anything.

[deerwalk]

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. I gained quite abit of weight at first too, as I had an enormous appetite as well as sugar craving! Excercise really helps out with depression for me. I too have an adverse reaction to anti depressants.

[ClayTheScribe]

Originally Posted by otterbearcat

I am so severely depressed right.
I am losing my job at the end of the month, I might be breaking up my significant other who has been most of my support as well.
I have no family, most of my friends were 'drinking buddies', and now that Im not drinking I cant be around some of them because they have bad boundaries or cant relate. So Im left with a couple good friends that live on the other side of the country, a couple aquaintices, a couple a people that I dont think I can be friends with anymore because I only really like them when I drinking.

I went to the store last night to get diet soda and ramen noodles. Ive started drinking the soda bc I need to something to open and have in my hands sometimes, and Im already having 4 cups of tea. Ramen noodles bc Im about to be completley broke.

So back to the point... I am looking at the seasonal beers thinking, mmm, I cant wait til I can drink again, then I think I want one, so I consider beering a six pack of na beer, end the I buy a 6 pack of vanilla cream soda bc they are out of rootbeer. Cost the same as cheap beer btw.

So Ive gained back some of the weight I orginally lost when I first quit drinking bc now Im drinking soda, over eating, eating tons of ice cream, when all i want to drink and be numb.


Did I mention I ramble and my stories are always waaaaaaaay too long?

I dont want to be an anti-depressants but if I lose the main support in my life on top of being unemployed, I dont know how Im not gonna drink.

Yes, anti-depressants won't keep you from drinking, if the urges pop up, but they will improve your mood to a level where your thoughts are more clear and you can have better control of your urges to drink. Just remind yourself when you're down that alcohol is a depressant and will only make your depression worse. I completely understand the over-eating, and the craving for sweets, I go through the same thing when I'm depressed. I'm not going to tell you to avoid those things if they make you happy and keep you from drinking. You can also shed those pounds off again.

Why might you break up your significant other? Have you told this person of your difficulties? It sounds like you need to go make some friends. Go to an AA meeting, if you don't already, or LifeRing. What's your passion, or one of them? Find groups and Meetup.com groups about your interests.

Take care,
Clayton

[Bamboozle]

Hello, OBC. How are you doing today?

Originally Posted by otterbearcat

So Ive gained back some of the weight I orginally lost when I first quit drinking bc now Im drinking soda, over eating, eating tons of ice cream, when all i want to drink and be numb...

I'm at almost 3 months sober...and I've just now begun to chill on the over-eating and lots of sugar intake. I didn't like it when I went on junk food binges...but I told myself it was OK as long as I didn't drink. I know over-eating isn't healthy, but it was better for me to do that rather than get smashed again.

It was really hard for me to quit the last time I relapsed. I almost didn't make it out. I don't want to go through that again.

Can you switch to diet soda? I drink those all the time...and sometimes club soda or just plain carbonated water.

Originally Posted by otterbearcat

...I dont want to be an anti-depressants but if I lose the main support in my life on top of being unemployed, I dont know how Im not gonna drink.

OBC....I know it's hard....hang in there. Nearly every single day I want to give up. For some reason, I keep plowing forward.


I know how hard it is to get motivated when extremely depressed, but here goes:

Search the Classifieds and get your resume together. Make looking for employment your project. Post about your progress here and vent your frustrations....but move forward.

I'm one to talk...I need to take my own advice.


Hang in there.

[Isaiah]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

Do you have any connections to AA or some other community? Friends you can call on? I think getting support from others might make your triggering circumstances easier.

Anti-depressants only cut away a certain amount of depression. Unfortunately, upsetting situations are still upsetting. The only difference is that, ideally, you react to troubles more like a "normal" person does. Break-ups and unemployment still sting.

I agree with most everyone that going on medication could be a very helpful tool for you in dealing with your crises, but also strongly suggest you don't look at it as the only solution to stop you from self-medicating with alcohol.

We can help you try to figure out all your options.

[Cleansing]

I'm a big fan of medication. Depending on how severe you mental illness is, they can really help. I used to stay awake all night, sleep during the day, see things, hear things, argue with people for no reason, everything looked gray, even on the sunny days, I lost my ability to discern color, I would drink, and drink, and drink. I stopped eating, I felt suicdial. i had it really bad. I NEEDED meds. But meds alone didn't fix everything. I did some talk therapy too. It actually took a good 6 m,onth before i was on the right combo of meds.

Now i'm on a bunch of medication, but it's needed, and I don't experience any of those things anymore. I'm also sober. It's a tough call to go on meds or not. I mean, sobriety should come first. because the meds won't work properly without that. I stopped drinking, and 5 days later my doctor gave me a script for Campral, which helps with alcohol dpendence. but you gotta be willing, ready, and able to stop drinking as well, otherwise, the medication won't work likw it does.

I take other meds, some may work for you, some may not. So it doesn't make sense to mention them here. but you can PM me and i can give you a hsitory of my meds if you want. But Campral seems to work for all who are ready to quit the booze.

you also may not need it, just throwing it out there, there's help for almost anything nowadays.

[otterbearcat]

Thanks to everyone for all the posts. Im still leaning towards not trying to take any anti-depressants, at least not any prescription ones. Ive actually taken them in the past when I was a teenager and had side effects, was thinking maybe things had changed but I think Im still in the camp where it isnt really gonna help to take them. I just feel myself slipping into a deep depression, which strangely feels like it did the first three weeks I quit drinking. I am super irritable, emotional, and thinking how am I not going to drink? ...

anyway, I know how not to drink, I suppose it is a question of whether I will or not.

Thanks for all the feedback

[otterbearcat]

[QUOTE=Bamboozle;2272431


It was really hard for me to quit the last time I relapsed. I almost didn't make it out. I don't want to go through that again.

Can you switch to diet soda?



[/QUOTE]


Thanks for saying that Bam. This is the first time I have tried to quit, and I told myself I only get one chance, that if I start drinking again, I have to keep it under control or quit entirely.

I did actually.

[Bamboozle]

Originally Posted by otterbearcat

Thanks to everyone for all the posts. Im still leaning towards not trying to take any anti-depressants, at least not any prescription ones. Ive actually taken them in the past when I was a teenager and had side effects, was thinking maybe things had changed but I think Im still in the camp where it isnt really gonna help to take them. I just feel myself slipping into a deep depression, which strangely feels like it did the first three weeks I quit drinking. I am super irritable, emotional, and thinking how am I not going to drink? ...

anyway, I know how not to drink, I suppose it is a question of whether I will or not.

Thanks for all the feedback

Hello, OBC.

Could you talk to your doctor about the side effects you had before? Tell him/her what you expect from your meds and he/she may be able to put you on something better.

I know that without my meds I would be having way more suicidal thoughts than I have now. Actually, I'm going to give my doctor a call tomorrow to get a bump up...I don't think the dose I'm on is strong enough. It's trial and error...and I hate doing this, but the alternative is too frightning to consider for me.

Please don't think I'm telling you what to do...I just don't want you to suffer.

Sorry if I missed it, but are you in therapy? I am...and while I absolutely hate going (I like my therapist, I just don't like the process), it does help. I need the extra support.

Thinking of you, OBC.

[martha27]

Hey Otterbearcat.

I am really sorry to hear about your depression its rough I think everyone who has posted on this thread feels for you in that sense, and from experience. However I am with Cleansing, I am a big fan of medication. I have to say that one of the craziest things about having depression or bipolar is the suspicion of medication. I myself refused to take my meds for a very serious case of bipolar for years, in particular I refused to take an anti psychotic based on one negative reaction years ago.

Now I am being treated with all sorts of medications including an anti depressant and I was amazed at how far they have come since I took them ten years ago, a choice of 16 different types depending on what is best for you, how strong they are, what type of side affects you might risk and what you won't. They have come along long way. Meds are the only reason I have re-joined the land of the living and maintained my sobriety, I literally owe them my sanity, my life and my future.

Your sobriety is the most important thing right now, if you think that you are going to have difficulty maintaining it without meds then I urge you to rethink your position, its important, in one of your posts you say that your not sure that you can go through a releapse again - think about it? Meds can really help you cope and maintain your sobriety and they have come such a long way, seriously and they may not be as expensive as they once were. Just investiagate the situation before forming an opionion based on an historical experience from years ago.

You don't mention what your doctors recommendations or diagnosis is?

Take care OBC, it sounds rough right now, but everyone is thinking of you!

[least]

I am grateful for antidepressants cause they keep me from going off the deep end. I will be on them for the rest of my life, and that's ok, cause I want to live, not commit suicide and wreck my kids' lives. Without the antidepressants I don't know where I'd be...

[ClayTheScribe]

They're a necessary evil. It's better to take them than the alternative of going off the deep end. If you're really against antidepressants or want to get off them, check out this page on nutrition and depression, and look at supplements like B vitamins, fish oil, Vitamin D and E, as well as GABA. But only do so with your doctor's supervision or with a nutritionist. If you have a really bad case of depression, you're gonna have to be on meds, maybe not forever, but for awhile until you recover.

Good luck

[123bubblegum123]

Medication is a quick fix. Sometimes it is necessary (if there's an actual "chemical imbalance") but relying on medicine in general kind of freaks me out. I started an extremely helpful type of therapy called DBT - I have an extreme anxiety disorder that causes me to be extremely neurotic and paranoid about literally everything. Combined with non-narcotic medication, DBT therapy is incredible and actually more helpful than any medication I've ever taken.

DBT is about dialectical thinking - or learning to live with certain conflicts and be okay. It helps anxiety, depression, and any other stress inducing debacle. Please PM me if you want to know more or if you just want to vent.

stay safe,
Rach

[sct]

Ha- I'm actually in DBT too... specifically for borderline and other things. I have found it to be really helpful over the last year and a half. Starting therapy I just told my therapist that I can't take medication, because I abuse everything, always have, so if there's any other option- I would rather do that. So far the other options work, so I'm going to stick with that.

Also, I don't think I've met anyone that wasn't depressed when the first got clean/sober. None of us come into recovery brimming with sweetness and light, yeah? When I first came into recovery, I also came in with diagnoses of antisocial personality disorder, and psychosis. After cleaning up, and doing some work- being re-evaluated at about 6 months clean, and again at a year, those have been removed from my list.

It was very difficult at first, because I was so used to regulating my mood with drugs, so having feelings again was really uncomfortable and is still taking getting used to. Hang in there OBC.

[otterbearcat]

Originally Posted by Sweets79

Hi,

... I have 2 months sober, and I have had depression for most of my life.
... trying to improve my depression by reading self-help books.
... something called 5 htp I believe. Don't quote me on the last one

Yeah, same here.

Sorry, I quoted you.

I have been taking the 5 htp for a little over a week and it is helping.
Total difference, dont feel like Im about to fall apart at the seams every minute of my life.
One of the nice things is it works right away instead of taking weeks like prescript ADs. Im only taking 100mg a day, 50mg in the am and 50mg in the pm as everything Ive read says dont take more than 100mg/day unless your under a Drs care and my naturopath appt isnt for a few weeks so...
I can see that I do unfortunately need to take something, Im hoping to stick to this natural route though, the only side effect from the 5 htp has been decrease in appetite which is a plus not a minus.



Thanks for everyone's comments.

@ Clay the Scribe:

Im seeing a naturopath in a few weeks, but have been taking something with Gaba for anxiety when it is mild enough for me not to take a benzo. And started cod liver oil about 6 months eventhough Ive been a vegetarian for 12 years because of the Omega 3s as Flaxseed oil never did anything for me. Thanks for the link.

@ 123:

Ill mention to the DBT to my therapist, never heard of it. Ill PM you later...

[historyteach]

OBC,
*If* you ever decide that you do need meds,
Please be aware that there is ample evidence that SSRI's,
The most commonly prescribed antidepressant today,
Can actually *cause* alcohol cravings!

Here's one link addressed by a group of physicians, researchers and others,
Determined to spread the word.
SSRIs and Alcohol*-*Drug Awareness.Org

Simply google SSRI and urge to drink,
And you will come up with many, many links
Addressing this underreported fact.

Shalom!

[mikefreak]

Xanex especially . If there was anything that made beer taste like nectar of the Gods, that was it.(!) But there are other meds available. I take citalopram, and I sometimes sing to myself (which I never did before), so I guess they work! I don't feel high (which I think is something you have to look out for), but I'm not in the dumps anymore, which helps me avoid the temptation to reach for the bottle. Depression was what worried me the most when I got sober-would I be able to withstand it when it came? If they don't work for you, you can always quit.

[tiburon88]

Originally Posted by suki44883

Anti-depressants won't keep you from drinking. I should know...I took anti-depressants for 20 years while I kept right on drinking daily. They also won't work if you drink so it would just be a huge waste of money.

I disagree my doctor told me to take my Lexapro daily even if I drink. Apparently, some of the medication still gets to your brain.

tib

[historyteach]

mikefreak,
Xanax is not an ssri. It's an anti anxiety. And you shouldn't drink with xanax. It can kill you easily by slowing down the parasympathetic nerve system in the body - you will slowly stop breathing and die. It's done very easily.

Please do not mix these two lethal combinations!

Tiburon,
Your doc is telling you to continue to take it so that the antidepressant stays built up in the body. That way, when you are *not* drinking, you will get an effect. But, alcohol is a depressant. That counters the effect of the anti depressant. You are simply wasting your money by taking it and drinking. But, your doc is correct; continue to take it so that when you are *not* drinking, you do get the effect you need to get.

Question is, why bother taking a med full time when you are doing something, (drinking), that gets you only part time results?

Shalom!

[Faerie]

Otterbearcat, I feel for you and am sending you a big hug from Australia.

I think anti-depressants whether St. Johns Wort or a chemical type may prove benefical but it will be trial and error till you find the right type and dosage for you.

DBT is brilliant, I joined a DBT group and learned so many new coping skills and ways of looking at things. I also met many like minded people and made some good friends. So finding a DBT group may solve your loneliness.

It's so important you have support at the moment and it's great you have found SR.

I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder and am on a lot of meds to help me. Without them I would still be trying to kill myself. I am battling a codeine addiction brought on by being a rape survivor and joined SR for support in my journey to recovery.

I have found so many empathetic people here with great advice that I really believe I'll be successful winning my battle this time.

I'm sure you will win yours too, I sounds like you're heading in the right direction.

Keep letting is all know how you are doing mate!

Much love,

[Faerie]

Oh, and I find Reiki really helpful too, for both my physical and emotional pain, if you can find a good practitioner and can afford it I strongly suggest giving it a go, it is really healing.

[mikefreak]

Historyteach, thanks for the info. How I am STILL alive, God only knows!!! Glad I finally quit that insanity......................