Help Me Someone!!!!!!!!

[BabeGirl]

I need someone! Anyone! I don't know what to do or how to act anymore! I love my family but my family thinks my brother should be dead. My mom has told him to tie a sheet around his neck aand jump off the top bunk in his jail cell. This all makes me very upset! How can a mother say that? My brother and I are very close! He is an addict and he has physicaly, mentally, and verbally abused me but he's also always protected me. My mom does verbally and mentally abuse me! I want out of this house soo bad! I just wanna run away from them! I am old enough to do so! I just don't have enough money right now! Someone HELP ME!!! My therapist has been no good anymore! He's no help! I need someone!

[2stop]

Hey Babegirl, I can hear your panic, and I am so sorry things are so rough for you right now. Take a few deep breathes now, okay? Sounds like your mother is at the end of her rope..and her expressions are most likely coming from deep pain and prolonged frustration watching her son progress through the stages of addiction..but hon the only person you can take care of is YOU. My brother is an addict and alcoholic too, and goes to jail off and on for various things he does while drunk/high. It tears me up inside but I have come to the point I can only pray for him and wish the best..but I have to take care of myself, I am responsible for how I feel..no matter what we have to make a choice to make the best of it by really looking after ourselves, yes acknowledge the pain, cry, write in a journal, talk to a close friend, get on here and vent away....we'll listen..and we care and won't judge you. Hope you get to feeling better soon..Now remember to take some deep breathes, okay?

[BabeGirl]

Tammie,
Thank you so very much! I have stopped worrying about my brother but it kills me inside when my own blood talks soo mean about their own blood. I love my brother but I won't change my life for him. My brother is 16 months older then me and is like my twin. He and I talk about everything. I know when he's using cause he tells me. I don't try and stop him. It wouldn't do any good! I tell him I don't like it and it concers me! I'm more upset that a mother could say that! Then again I know she never wanted us and he's just like out father! I don't know anymore!

[2stop]

I know it's very painful to see how some our family members act, we just have to make sure to not "own it" ya know? Gently nudge and nurture yourself into being able to calm yourself with positive affirmations and such..I know when my brither does stuff like trying to kill himself with a shotgun, I just panic and all my emotions scream to be stopped or helped or something, but I am slowly learning to detach from the mental chaos as well as the physical chaos of it all..A day at a time my friend....your life will get better...Keep hanging in there!!~

I'm sorry BabeGirl,

That is a terrible thing for your mother to say to your brother. The ACOA board would be a good place to share some of these family issues. Build yourself another circle of support. Maybe even go to a face to face ACOA meeting in your area. I remember my first meeting. It was so good to know that there were others out there like me and that I didn't have to keep it all a secret anymore.

Take it a day at a time and know that you are worth a lot.


Hugs,
MG

[ButterflyChaser]

((((((((((((((((((((((Babegirl)))))))))))))))))))) ))))
I really don't have any words of incouragemnet today, I'm sorry for what you are going through!!
The thing with your mother...well,,,ummm...put it this way...it's really disgusts me!!
I'm sorry, you'll be ok! You already are!
Angels are watching over you!

[Lilya]

Hello Babegirl,

This is a very difficult situation. Dysfunctional family matters are always tough to deal with and I can understand your pain. I agree with Tammie that your mother must have been at the end of her teather to say things like that, but is your mother all right? She must be under a lot of strain.

Remember that sometimes it´s a good idea to give families a break, a cooling down time, and maybe see some help to let go of your mother´s behaviour and to understand that what she says does not reflect so much who you are, but how she is feeling right now.

Morning Glory is right about ACA. You can get a lot of help there. But please let us know how you and your brother are doing, OK?

I wish you all the best.

Use adversity

[BabeGirl]

What is the ACA?
No, she has always been that way. She's alway said that kinda stuff to us. Then she would suck up a few hours later by buying us something or taking us somewhere or if it was something really bad that she said or did she'd let us do whatever we wanted that included getting drunk at 13 and 14 yrs old. She's always mad at me cause I get distracted easly and I'll forget to do something minor. Then I get the I'm not lucky enough speach... I'm always called stupid or a spoiled brat. Yep, SSI spoils me... sure...

[Lilya]

BabeGirl,

ACA stands for Adult Children of Alcacholics. In France we call it Adult children from dysfunctional families.

My grandmother tought me to smoke when I was five and gave me brandy when I was six. She thought I would become such a sophisticated girl - but I ended up in jail as a teenager. It took me years and years to earn respect from my family and my society and to be able to hold down a respectable job position with authority. I still get comments like: "Not bad for an ex-con," when I have achieved something worthwhile in my work. It´s an ongoing prize for having a past, but it still hurts terribly.

Now I volunteer in helping ex-prisoners to readjust to society and I cannot tell you how rewarding that is.

I have forgiven my grandmother after a long process of understanding her actions and letting her go.

I hope this sharing helped you a little.

Use adversity