Feeling so good, I dunno what to do!

[hippyhippy]

A fortnight ago, I was so unhappy. I was sick of the constant gnawing of anxiety and the low level depression. I wasn't suicidal but I was just so blooming low. I had no energy, no confidence, no motivation, concentration was gone.....you get the picture!

I suggested to my pdoc that maybe an anti depressant would help. I didn't expect him to agree as he said that one had made me too high before. Certainly, the first time I was on Prozac, before BP diagnoses, I came off partly because it made me too euphoric (I couldn't cry at my granny's death and was laughing at ther funeral)

This time, I am on Citalopram, which I have been on before, but it didn't make me euphoric. However, within two days, my mood lifted incredibly. The difference has been dramatic! I know when I was on it before, it took time to make me feel better and even then, it didn't do much. I wasn't on mood stabilisers too though. I have loads of energy, confidence, the world feels like a good place! All the things that were upsetting to me seem so trivial. I look at myself in the mirror and think "Hey, you look ok!" instead of "What a mess" For two to three days, I don't want to sleep and I have to be really strict with myself and make myself take my meds. Then on the next day, I flag and sleep almost constantly.

However....there is always a however, isn't there? I recognise I might be a bit high. I do feel a bit euphoric at times, it is definately a feeling I can relate to from my first time on Prozac. I see my pdoc tomorrow. I am so tempted to play down how I feel as I don't want him to take me off this. I don't want to go back to feeling how I was. Yet, I think if I am honest, it is a possibility. The danger being that my high good mood becomes more destructive. Yet, in the mood I am in at the moment, I think I could only do good!

Lastly, maybe the reason I am feeling so good at the moment is that I have a brief respite from outside pressures. My work are not hassling me, the government benefits people are not hassling me. Maybe I just felt so bad because I had so much pressure on me? If I say I am feeling so good and he says, "Ok, you can get back to work now" I might well just fall flat on my face and be back at square one!

Any thoughts appreciated!

Hippy
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[Bamboozle]

Hello, hippyhippy.

I'm on Citalopram. When I first started taking it about a month ago I noticed a huge difference in the first couple of days. Those first two weeks were the best I've had mood wise in about 10 years.

Now, though, I don't think it's working as good as it should. My doctor hasn't called me back yet. I want to switch meds...try something else.


I hope you can stay in a good mood. I hope the meds work for you and work consistently.

I'm curious, though...you said you have BP. Have you been on Lithium? I wonder why so many docs are prescribing SSRI's for BP? Sorry if I'm being too nosy.

[hippyhippy]

You are not being nosey at all. I have not been on lithium as a doctor spooked me a while back. I was feeling really bad and she considered I was at risk of a suicide attempt. She said "You overdose on this and you are gone. No second chances" So I chose Sodium Valproate instead.
I was surprised at my pdoc prescribing me the anti d's I have to say but I see him today, I shall have to wait and see what he says, if I have to continue or not.
Hippy

[Kablume]

Originally Posted by hippyhippy

However....there is always a however, isn't there? I recognise I might be a bit high. I do feel a bit euphoric at times, it is definately a feeling I can relate to from my first time on Prozac. I see my pdoc tomorrow. I am so tempted to play down how I feel as I don't want him to take me off this. I don't want to go back to feeling how I was. Yet, I think if I am honest, it is a possibility. The danger being that my high good mood becomes more destructive. Yet, in the mood I am in at the moment, I think I could only do good!
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Hippy,
I am right where you are at but with a different drug. Do tell your Pdoc because he/she may just tweak the dosage a little. That's what mine did. I thought he might up my Abilify but he didn't.

Was up all night but will hopefully sleep tonight. I called him because of the old adage "What goes up must come down!" And that really scares me.

Hope all goes well at the appt.

[jurneyman]

Hippy, This is such good news, Now you know under certain conditions your are not destined to a life of never feeling good again. I remember the first time I felt the way you are feeling now although it was short lived, was the best thing that could have happened to me, it gave me hope, which I had lost and was just going through the motions. Now It was much easier to keep trying and continue the medication trial and retrial. Just as Kablume stated, it is a normal procedure to modify the dosage, and just as a suggestion maybe lowering yours, could possibly take the edge off the high, and will help you find a
better balance to your life.

[hippyhippy]

Well, I saw pdoc and he thinks I am ok! I can stay on these meds! I have to see him in a fortnight to review but he thinks the valproate will stop me getting too high.
Jurneyman, what a good way to look upon things! I am feeling pretty positive and hopeful. It is so nice to feel like this!
Hippy
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