Bad reaction to alcohol...

[Zant808]

Hello, I am new here. I am in quite serious trouble. I have taken over 20 psychiatric medications over 10 years which has destroyed my brain. I was fortunate to get off of all medications around July 2007 but around Memorial Day 2008 I decided to start drinking alcohol. I had previously been on benzos and I didn't realize how bad alcohol was for me. I kept drinking every weekend up until November 2008 where I become totally insane from insomnia. In my total panic I went to get 10mg of valium again but that didn't work to put me to sleep. I haven't slept normally since November 2008. I am very lonely and I drank again (not on the benzos though) on Valentines Day and a couple of times in March and at the beginning of April in the hopes that the alcohol would put me to sleep but it didn't work. Now I had to take another 10mg of valium the other day and another 10mg of valium to stop myoclonic jerks in my head. I still have not slept. I don't know if inpatient psychiatric care can get my sleep regulated again through a med cocktail. I have no mental health coverage anymore because I thought I was ok since I went off meds and was decent for a year. I even quit my job, got my own place and started my own business. The business did not do well and now I'm going bankrupt. I guess I have an alcohol and benzo problem now. I'm just scared and I don't know what to do. I want another shot at being off the meds and staying alcohol free FOR LIFE. My diagnosis is bipolar but I still suspect its just the meds that caused the manias and depressions since for that 1 year off I was stable. Any suggestions you may have would be appreciated.

[steamvessel]

You came to the right place. I can tell you from my own dealings with mental illness and depression, that alcohol is not going to work as medication. It only deadens the senses, gives a buzz and a kind of escapism. But, it's not real. I understand the desire to want to drink when you are depressed, but it will only make the depression worse. I think focusing on sobriety is the right move for you. I am in the same boat, I am back to day one after several relapses. You can start by posting in the two weeks and under thread, it's a great place to monitor the first days which are really the biggest days in this process. It's a great way to focus, get motivated and get support for what you are trying to do. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-8-a.html (For Members with Less than 2 Weeks Part 8)

Good luck

[WLDKATZ]

First and foremost welcome to SR!
Secondly we are unable to give medical advise. In your situation I suggest you seek medical treatment immedately, just so you dont have another manic episode. Go into ANY emergancy room in the world and you will be evaluated and given help.

Good Luck!
Pamm