Feedback please,

[Juls]

My husband and I don't fight alot, but when we do have an argument I think it's good for our daughter to see us argue. (We don't call names or throw things though). I think it is good because I think it shows her that people can argue, resolve their arguments, and they still love each other.

I don't want her to be frightened of having an argument with another person. I want her to know it's o.k. to feel angry at someone you love sometimes, and that it doesn't mean that you don't love that person. I want her to see how people can argue, then come back together again.

What do you think.

Thanks,

Juls

[HardHead]

Bless yas.
It's true, not all can resolve a problem, or disagreement calmly.
Me at this time last year anyhow. Anger is not a good thing for me, Working on lots of character defects again I guess.
I come here for suggestions on pulling my own life back together.
Inspirational board for me.
Thanks

[Juls]

Thank you Hardhead for the feedback. I'm glad you find this board to be good for you. I try to bring different elements to the board and make it a positive, supportive, place for people to post and talk to each other.

Moderating this forum has been a blessing for me. It really adds alot to my life, and everyone on here is important to me.

Keep coming and sharing with us.

Juls

[2stop]

I so agree with you Juls!!~My husband tries to avoid any confrontation at all..or will aggravate one into happening..then the ole silent treatment, will not share how he feels..it just burns me up!!! I tell him our kids need to see conflict resolution, and where there is never confrontation..there is no growth!

I think the key is whether or not she feels safe when you argue and does she know you are both safe when you argue.

[Juls]

That's what I'm trying to teach her MG. That disagreeing is o.k. She doesn't like it when we disagree, but if we hide it all the time I'm thinking she will always be uncomfortable with it. Does that make sense?

Juls

[Lilya]

I agree with you, Juls.

I think you' re absolutely right to let your daughter be present during "manegable" arguments. It´s not good to hide things and let the tension build up. In my family we keep things out in the open, even quite difficult arguments and after we kiss and make up - the latin way. The kids understand arguing is part of life and should not crush us. It´s normal, it´s vital part of life.

Use adversity

[Mamabear]

I agree. But the making up part is essential.
In my growing up family, my folks held grudges for days. Then somehow, they made up. We never saw that part but we heard the yelling and screaming. It took me years to learn not to hold grudges.
Now we talk a lot and try hard to say "I forgive you" or "It's okay. " we're huggy too. That helps a lot. Even if things are haywire we can count on talking about it in our family. That has been a life saver.
Mamabear

That make sense.