Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry

[tommygnosis]

What is it supposed to feel like to be an adult? What is it like to not have a mental illness?

Every morning when I wake up, I have to make the conscious decision to get out of bed, to take a shower, to go to work, to do with the stress and challenges in my life with appropriate coping methods - the things that responsible adults do. Even when my depression isn't completely out of control, I am always aware of the power I hold over whether or not my life goes to the hell today or next year or whenever.

Earlier this year I stopped fighting the depression, stopped getting out of bed, and am now dealing with the consequences at my job. The ~5 weeks I took off suddenly weigh more heavily on people on than my previous decade of spotless service.

Do other people have to make this same choice every day? Does it ever become automatic?

[TigerLili]

I had a month or so off earlier this year due to depression/breakdown. I think for some people yes, it's just automatic, or at least easier. It's not for me. I have to consciously prod myself through each day - self-care, cooking, eating, cleaning, working etc. It takes most of my mental, spiritual and physical energy to maintain a reasonable standard of presentation and interactions with others, pay my bills etc. There's not much left over for social interaction and connection. It's not effortless at all, the way it appears to be for some people

[Zencat]

I get that too, not only do I have to make a conscious effort but a diligent effort at that. I know its within my realm to make the effort, I just cant control the outcome...but I try to do what I can and in the end that's all that matters to me..